One Lonely Night
by Laurie Archer
Summary: Anne Cromwell (OC), a young hunter, nearly kills a man one lonely night, who she later comes to know as the former angel Gadreel. Was it merely a coincidence or were they destined to find each other? Either way, she knows she has to help him any way she can. Together, they will find a way to return Heaven to its former glory and finally end the journey of Gadreel's redemption.
1. Chapter 1

One Lonely Night

Chapter 1

The road was endlessly long and the scenery didn't change much: forests and fields. The radio played some really great songs, but then the DJ changed and the music went to shit. Changing the radio didn't make a big difference; who's going to play really good music after midnight?

I should really install an iPod dock or something. It's better when I'm in control of the music that plays in my car. I would use my CD player, but it has been acting up and it just pisses me off. But it doesn't really matter because there are times where I just get so tired that not even my favorite songs make me happy.

The sky was orange and it quickly turned dark. Dusk and dawn made me realize just how fast time moves, how precious it is. Within seconds, the sky was so dark that it was difficult to set apart the tree tops from the black velvet sky. It was a night of the New Moon.

I always keep track of the Moon phases, mostly because I'm a Wiccan, but because it gives me something to look forward to. I love looking at the Full Moon. It makes me feel like I'm not alone. It's sad, I know, but I've been alone for years. My mother died in a hospital due to an organ transplant gone wrong and my father… never knew the bastard.

I don't have much of a family and what I mean by that is I don't know if one exists. I don't have friends because I never saw a need for them. Alright, that's actually a lie. I see the need for one now, but I never could keep friends for long. They always found me weird and, eventually, found a better friend and tossed me aside. So, yeah; I'm a loner.

My eyes were now getting so heavy and sore, but I haven't seen a motel for quite a few miles. I'm pretty sure one's gonna pop up soon, but it wouldn't be the first time I was wrong.

Just as I rubbed one eye at a time, I was turning around a bend and caught something on the side of the road. It startled me and the worst part, it was about to get in my way. I reacted so quickly, being startled, and it was sort of violent. I swerved, heard a noise and even felt a sort of impact, and slammed onto my breaks, wheels screeching to a stop.

I just sat there, hands gripping the wheel tightly and glancing in the review mirror. I couldn't see anything. I shut off the radio and opened the glove department, searching for my flashlight and my gun. Once I was ready to see the damage I've done, I opened the door and slipped out.

I turned on my flashlight and immediately caught sight of what I nearly hit. Or did I hit it? As I looked at it, my mind was going crazy, seeing a mysterious blur. As I approached, I suddenly realized what it was: a human.

Oh shit, did I kill someone?

My heart was pounding in my chest. No matter how much I've killed all these years, nothing prepares you for killing an innocent person.

Didn't he see the bright lights? Yeah, my car is black, but c'mon, bright lights! That means: car coming!

As I go closer, I can now see what the person is wearing: jeans, a black leather jacket over a black sweater and under that, a dark colored shirt. That's when I realized it was a man.

I knelt down beside him and tried not to look at his face. If he was dead, with his mouth and eyes wide open, I didn't need that to burn into my brain and haunt me. I lifted up his wrist and waited. Was I feeling a heart beat or was it just me? I had to go higher. I placed my fingers on his neck and felt a pulse. It was weak.

Fuck. Is he dying?

With my flashlight, I shone it all over him to assess the damage. So far, his leg looked badly scrapped. When I felt his leg and moved it gently, it didn't seem broken. Then I brought my flashlight to his face and for a second, I froze.

His mouth and eyes weren't opened wide in a twisted expression of horror. Instead, he looked asleep and peaceful. But that's not what caught my attention.

He had strong facial features and a perfectly chiseled jaw. His hair was sandy blond and then I noticed how dirty he was. What did he do, roll around in dirt? Then, I was tempted to push back his eyelids to see his eye color.

Oh, I'm terrible. I hit a guy and all I want to do is know his eye color? Well, he is gorgeous…

I snapped myself out of it and checked the back of his head. He wasn't bleeding. Then I checked his shoulders. They were fine. He was fine. Oh boy, was he fine…

Oh God, am I feeling him up? He does seem muscular… Oh, please stop! See, this is what happens when you're a loner: you want to check out a guy you just hit with your car.

I checked his pockets for a wallet and found nothing. It was odd. Then I began to wonder, what the Hell is a guy with nothing but the clothes on his back doing walking on the side of a highway at night? How could he even see where he was going? Who was he? Wasn't he cold? Afraid?

Now was the time to think: what the Hell do I do with him?

Well, I can think of a few things… Oh for crying out loud, stop! You're not screwing a guy you hit with your car!

I hooked my hand under his armpits and tried to lift him up. It wasn't so bad, until I tried to turn his body around and drag it towards my car. I couldn't get very far. So I walked over to my car, got the spare keys from the visor and opened my trunk. I pulled out the tarp that I had folding up behind the spare wheel and unfolded it on the road next to my mysterious guy.

Once that was done, I dragged him onto it and it was slightly easier to drag the tarp to my car. I opened the passenger door, flipped the seat forward, since my car is a two-door, and then it hit me: how the Hell was I going to get him in there?

No, scratch that. He's sitting in the front seat.

I glanced at him and exhaled with exhaustion. I was using the last of my energy for this guy.

I figured the best way would be to prop him in a sitting position. When that wasn't working very well, I started doing whatever came to mind. Oh, this poor guy. I must have banged his head against the car a few times.

Eventually, I got his top half in and, satisfied my impulsive side. I placed my hands on his ass and heaved him into the passenger seat. I pushed and tucked his legs in, then closed the door. I was breathing hard, my heart was beating rapidly and my lungs were burning like I was back in gym class, running laps.

I folded up the tarp as best as I could, closed the trunk and got back behind the wheel, pushing him up so he was in a sitting position. Well, sort of. Then I pulled the seat belt and buckled him in. I don't want to hit someone else and have him fly through my windshield.

As I drove, I was beginning to calm down. I was so tired at that point and I was relieved when I saw lights up ahead. There wasn't much, but enough to make me smile weakly.

I approached the lights quickly and looked at the buildings in the small town. And I mean small.

When I spotted a motel, I practically turned too early, jumping the curb. I pulled into a parking spot, shut off the engine, grabbed my wallet and ran to the office. I slammed my hand on that ridiculous bell and kept on pounding until the guy walked over sluggishly. He looked pissed off, but if he didn't give me a room in five seconds, I was going to show him that I could be a lot more pissed off then him.

He talked like a zombie and I just listened for the price. I took out money and slammed it down harder than I intended. He slowly handed me the keys to room five and I tore off to my car. I grabbed my bags, opened the door and just threw them in.

When I was certain no one was watching, I prepared myself to drag the mystery guy from my passenger seat to the room. Oh, that was going to be fun.

So I pushed him down, pulled his legs out first and when his upper half was at the edge of the seat, I tried to grip him under his arm pit and pull it out. It was difficult and I had to stop, breathe and try again. I tried my best to drag him and he was slipping out of my grip. I had to stop, grab a hold of him better, and continue.

When he was in the room, I quickly closed the door and the curtains that were slightly opened.

I turned and glanced at him. With the lights on, I got a better look at him. Oh yeah, he was definitely gorgeous!

I took a few seconds to collect myself and then dragged him over to the far bed. I tried to lift him onto it, but I was beyond exhausted at this point.

Oh, fuck it. I grabbed the pillows, lifted his head and placed them under him. Then I tore the blanket off and placed it over him. There, done.

I kicked off my shoes, took off my jacket, locked the door and collapsed into my bed. Once my head hit the pillow, I was out cold.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

When I opened my eyes, the alarm clock said four twenty-nine in the morning. Then I realized that it was blinking. That meant that the alarm clock wasn't even set. I had to look at my watch to tell me it was twenty to noon. Apparently, I was very tired last night.

When I twisted and stretched in bed, it all hit me. I sat up and glanced at the other bed. It was empty and for a split second, I thought he was gone. That was until I realized where I had left him.

I swung my legs out of bed, fixed my chestnut brown pixie styled hair as best as I could and walked over to him. When I saw his feet, my brain thought he was dead. It's obvious that I'm not the most intelligent when I first wake up.

I slowly crept up and saw he was still unconscious.

How hard did I hit him? Or maybe he was like me: beyond exhausted.

As I watched him lay still like a corpse, I wondered why I didn't bring him to the hospital. Why did I bring him with me? Was I that lonely that I would take with me the person whom I hit with my car? Or was it because I found him handsome and didn't want to leave him behind and never see him again?

It was then that I realized just how creepy I was. Who stands there and stares at an unconscious stranger?

I turned away and decided to first take a shower, and then grab some food. If I was hungry, than my mystery guy would be starving.

I grabbed some clothes out of my bags and locked the bathroom door. I glanced at myself in the mirror, looking at my hazel eyes. No, they weren't bloodshot. Good.

I tossed my current clothes on the floor and hurried into the shower. The warm water felt good and I stood there, eyes closed, taking it in. I wished the water could just wash away all the stress, all the nightmares and the hardship that stole my life away from me.

When my stomach began to growl, I knew I had to get out, dry off, get dressed and get food. If I waited any longer, my stomach would be hurting like Hell and I'd feel nauseous.

I shut off the water, dried my hair first and used that towel to step on, then another towel to dry off my body. I glanced down at my wounds that had healed over. Sometimes I'd stare at my scars and wonder what the Hell I was doing to myself. But, this was my life.

I got dressed, opened the door and stepped out, fixing my watch on my wrist. When I glanced up, I froze in place. Someone stood near my bags, holding a book in their hands and was staring at me. Then I realized it was my mystery guy reading my journal.

We just stared at each other and the tension was unbelievable.

What do I say? Sorry I hit you with my car? Do you need a hospital?

Oh, does he have amnesia? Maybe I can tell him he's my boyfriend and he'd just go along with it.

Oh, I should be ashamed of myself…

He was the one to break eye contact. He closed my journal and approached me. I'm not going to lie, my breath caught in my throat and when he stood a foot or so away from me, I couldn't tear my gaze away from his eyes. They were beautiful, green or hazel. He didn't smile and he seemed unfriendly, but that's not what I saw in those eyes. They were hard, but there was softness too.

"Forgive me for reading your journal." He said and handed it out to me. His voice was sort of rough, but it was also soft and smooth. It left me wishing to hear him talk some more. Thankfully, my body reacted because my mind had gone blank. I took the journal, still staring at him like he was a God.

"No problem." I said, almost monotone. I had to tear my gaze away from him, snap myself out of it and act more intelligently. I looked at my journal and then it hit me. Oh God, _my journal_. He was probably thinking I was crazy. He'll probably run the first chance he gets. How do I explain that –?

"You're a hunter." He said and that brought my brain to a screeching halt. I lifted my eyes to meet his and was speechless for a few seconds. "Your journal contains information on vampires, werewolves and ghosts." He added, looking at my journal, then back at me. I opened my mouth and all that came out was a noise, making me sound just as stunned as I felt.

"Yeah." I managed to say. He stood there and stared at me, making me felt compelled to explain. Only I couldn't. That was personal. So I decided to take another root. "Are you a hunter?" I asked him with a bit of hope. I felt so giddy because I've never met other hunters before. I always wanted to so I could learn much more than what I have on my own. He gave a small smile and that practically had me beaming. His smile was gorgeous. Imagine what he would look like if he smiled completely and laughed…

"No." he said and that smile of his faded. So did mine.

"Have you met other hunters?" I asked him, feeling hope rise up again in me, and he nodded without a hint of a smile.

"I have." He said and that brought a small smile to my face. I couldn't help it. Maybe one day, I could meet them.

He seemed uneasy and it was obvious why: I was staring at him. I too would be uncomfortable. So I placed my journal on the table beside the bathroom door and placed my hands in my jean pockets. Now would probably be a good time to talk about last night. That or mention food. But would he want to talk about it over food?

"Sorry about last night." I said and it seemed to take a couple of seconds before he remembered it. He nodded and looked down at his leg. "Oh God, you probably need to be patched up." I said and was about to step closer, ready to help, but he looked at me oddly.

"I'm fine." He said and the tension was returning, creeping back in like a snake. Uh, I hate snakes.

I wanted to tell him all about it, but I couldn't. The way he looked at me when he looked at his leg. I couldn't get my brain to move past it. Then, I felt a ping of pain in my stomach. Right. Food.

"I'm on my way to grab lunch. You're probably hungry." I said and he sort of titled his head. Wow, was he gorgeous. However, I had to snap out of it and focus. "Wanna come with me?" I asked him.

He simply nodded, hesitantly, and followed me to my car. He looked at it, not so much in admiration, but in befuddlement. I couldn't fathom why, but brushed it off and got in my car. He opened the passenger door and got in.

"A two-door 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS 454 LS6 with a V8 engine, 450 horsepower." I said, gleaming that I finally got the chance to show how well I memorized that information. When I glanced at him, he seemed confused, as if none of that meant a single thing to him. I thought for sure that would have impressed him. Guys were usually impressed with car talk. "It was my mom's car." I said softly, sounding sort of disappointed as I started the engine and backed out.

"It's similar to the car of someone I know." He said without much emotion in his voice. I glanced at him and nodded. I guess that explains a bit.

"Cool." I replied.

He remained silent during our small car ride to the diner a block or so away. We got out and walked into the place. It was pretty empty, which was odd. I guess I wasn't accustomed to restaurants that weren't loaded with people at noon.

We sat down and a waitress came up to take our order. Like, seriously? We didn't even look at the menus yet. Then, I knew why she came up so fast. She stared at him, asked him what he'd like to order. She was basically foaming at the mouth.

He looked at me as if clueless.

"Two cheeseburgers, two fries and water." I said, looking at her with the most sinister smile I could manage. She just looked at me like I was gum under her shoe and walked away. What a bitch!

When I glanced back at him, he stared at me like he had when our eyes first met. I looked back down at my menu and placed it in the holder by the window. When I glanced back at him, he continued to stare, and then he looked away as if he felt bad for doing it.

"I'm Anne Cromwell." I said and he looked up at me and gave a small smile. He seemed very friendly at this point and it made me smile too. His eyes were so beautiful when he smiled.

"I'm Gadreel." He replied. What a strange name, but it sounds so pretty.

"Just Gadreel?" I asked him and he nodded. "That's cool." I added and he gives that small smile again. I can't resist repeating his name in my head.

An extraordinary name for an extraordinary guy.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Once that snobby waitress gave us our order, Gadreel ate that cheeseburger like he hadn't eaten in a month. I tried not to look, but it made me feel bad for him. I wanted to know what had happened to him. Who left him behind? When was the last time he ate? Where did he sleep? Was he homeless? That would be okay, I was too, technically.

I glanced away and focused on my food. Whenever I would glance up at him cautiously, I was surprised just how fast he was eating. I wasn't nearly as close to finishing my burger as he was all of his food.

I was even more surprised when he ordered another cheeseburger, which put a smile on the stupid waitress's face. Oh please, honey; it's not like you made it. He's starving, not flirting.

I stuffed my face with food, frustrated with that slut. I don't know why, it's not like Gadreel was my boyfriend. I guess I was just jealous because she's competition… with flat hair, way too much makeup and practically nothing filling her bra.

That made me feel better.

I was almost finished when Gadreel began his second cheeseburger. I tried not to watch him, but it wasn't easy to avoid. Poor guy was starving. I looked at his clothes and wondered when was the last time they were washed. I wondered when was the last time he took a shower. Oh, I should have let him take one before we left. Terrible of me.

When he glanced up at me, it hit me that I had been staring at him. I looked away, outside at my car. My mind started to go other things like: did the Goddess send someone to keep me company; to chase away my loneliness? Or was it all just a coincidence? Are we just two people whose paths cross over for a brief moment?

When he was full, I paid for the food and the frigged waitress just gave me a fake smile. Then she turned to Gadreel and flashed him a sweet one. Oh, I could have rammed my foot up her ass, but these were my good boots.

We drove back to the motel and I asked him if he wanted to take a shower and wash his clothes. He agreed only to the shower, but seemed baffled. I turned it on, hoping that he did know how to operate the metal knobs. When I closed the door behind me, I began to wonder if he really did have amnesia. It would explain the odd name and lack of understanding on how to use a shower.

Then I had an idea: maybe I could find him on the Internet. I pulled out my laptop from one of my bags and began my search. All I had was his first name and that didn't help much because all I got was websites about the angel Gadreel. From what I read, Gadreel was in Eden and some believe he was or was not the snake that tempted Eve. Then, he apparently taught mankind the art of war. On one website, I got Gadriel, which seemed like a nice angel.

Then it got me thinking: how does he spell his name?

I shut off my laptop, questioning myself. How could I find someone when I couldn't even hack into FBI databases or stuff like that? I wouldn't be able to find information on him with amateur Google skills. If I wanted to know, I'd have to ask him and I was certain that, like me, it would be personal; something you couldn't share within twenty-four hours of officially meeting someone. Especially when that someone hit you with their car.

The thought that he had amnesia still lingered: maybe he thinks he'd Gadreel, the angel. When did he lose his memory? Was it when I hit him? Couldn't have been…

I went to the bathroom door and picked up my journal that I had left on the small table. I flipped to the last page I had written on and wrote an entry on Gadreel. Who was he? Where did he come from?

That was all I could think of. I placed my journal back in my bag and turned on the television. There weren't many channels, but one showed a soap opera that I would sometimes catch. I made myself as comfortable as I could on the piece of shit sofa and watched as Hans fought to keep his wife Shay from walking out on their marriage. She was better off leaving. Hans was a prick.

When Gadreel stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later, I glanced up at him and gave a soft smile. He sat next to me, leaving some space of course, and looked at the television screen. I tried not to stare at him, but slightly wet hair made him look adorably sexy.

He met my eyes and I simply smiled and looked away. I had to stop doing that.

"How did you become a hunter?" he asked me. I glanced and met his eyes. They were intense, as if he was studying me. It was sort of creepy, but he was just so gorgeous that I didn't mind, as long as he didn't stop looking at me.

"When my mom died at the hospital, I saw something hovering around her." I began and caught something in his eyes. Was it sympathy?"I researched like crazy and read about reapers. That led me to so many things and ways to kill them. At first, I thought it wasn't true, but when I encountered some of those creatures, those methods really worked." I added and he nodded, looking at me attentively.

"You learnt on your own?" he asked me. I nodded and explained.

"It was a lot of research and I stumbled a lot on the first few cases. I had to teach myself how to shoot a gun and how to properly use a knife to defend myself." I replied and looked at the television screen, remembering those hard days. "At first, it seemed cool, until I started getting hurt and needed days, weeks, to rest. Then there was the whole money problem. Paying for motels, gas, food and necessities, all without a job? I used up my money fast and had to learn how to get more. It was a lot of running away with sheer luck." I said and was surprised at how much I was sharing with a man whose first name was all I knew; if that was his real name.

"How did you manage?" he asked me and I wasn't sure what to say. I looked at him and he sort of looked sad.

"It was hard and lonely." I replied, being the only thing I could think of to stay. "I had made acquaintances in order to teach me some things I couldn't learn on my own. I had to be careful and it was scary, but saving people was worth everything I went through." I added and a small smile spread on his lips, but a hint of sadness remained in his beautiful green eyes. I was surprised how well he was listening to me. Boy, I needed that.

At that moment, I was dying to know more about him. It was nice that someone was getting to know me, but I want reciprocity.

"What about you?" I blurted out before he could ask me anything else. His eyes seemed almost distant and he lost that friendly allure. I now wondered if I had done something wrong. Did he have a painful past and didn't want to share with a stranger? As much as I could understand, I also couldn't see why he wouldn't. Sometimes strangers are the best to talk to.

His jaw clenched and his lips almost made him look like he was pouting. Honestly, it wasn't really attractive, but what was more important was if he would answer. I wanted him to feel comfortable talking to me.

"I was an angel." He said and remained silent afterwards. I repeated the words in my head to make sure I heard correctly. Maybe that's what I think he said. When he glanced at me, I wondered if he was joking. However, he seemed serious. Maybe my theory that he had amnesia wasn't totally out of the ball park. Maybe I was right that he believed he was the angel Gadreel. I really should have brought him to a hospital…

But, what the Hell. I went along with it.

"The angel that was in Eden." I said and he looked away. I could see the pain on his face and it made me feel bad for thinking that he was crazy. "What happened?" I asked him. He answered me without looking my way.

"I was deceived by Lucifer and caused the fall of Eden. I was imprisoned and tortured for thousands of years." He said and was silent for a few seconds. "When Metatron cast a spell to evict all angels from Heaven, I posed as Ezekiel: a great angel who had died. All I wanted was a chance at redemption." He added and then, I could see and hear the emotion. If he was crazy, he believed this whole heartedly. "I helped Metatron, but was soon repulsed by his methods to rule Heaven. I decided to help his rival, Castiel." He said and there was a long pause. I waited and listened patiently. "I sacrificed myself for him and hoped that I would be remembered for helping Castiel rather than causing the fall of Eden." He finally said and all I wanted to do was hug him.

Then it hit me: he sacrificed himself. That means he died. So he was here and, from what I can assume, he's human. That would explain a lot. The way he looked at me after looking at his leg, eating like crazy and not knowing how to work the shower… either he really did have amnesia or he really was an angel at one time. Now I asked myself: what will I believe? Do I go with my human flaw to rationalize or my instinct to believe him?

He looked at me and, even though I wanted to ask him about it, I could see he was just as confused as I was. So, I gave him a soft smile and did something bold: rest my hand on his. He looked down at my hand as if he wasn't sure what to say or do. But I did. I knew what to believe in and what to say to him that would let him know it.

"Sacrifice _is_ redemption."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

He seemed sort of relieved when I said that. But it quickly got awkwardly silent. We just watched television until we got hungry again. We didn't go to the same diner. That whore of a waitress wasn't seeing Gadreel again. So we drove to another restaurant a little further. The food was alright and, once again, we remained silent.

As I looked at Gadreel, I began thinking just how hard this must be for him. I wanted to help him, but I didn't really know when or how to tell him.

The day was over so quickly and when the sky darkened, he went to his bed and fell asleep. I had the chance to write down in my journal everything that he told me. Gadreel was once an angel and was now human. I began thinking that our meeting wasn't a coincidence. A former angel meets a hunter?

As I closed my journal, I looked over at him and wondered why he was back from the dead as a human? He probably asked himself that question when he woke up this morning. Then he gets stuck with a young, but peculiar, hunter. He must be asking himself what he did wrong. Yeah, I was being harsh on myself, but I couldn't see why he met me? Why not some other, more skilled, hunter?

I tucked my journal back into my bag and crawled into my bed. I continued to watch him until my eyes were too sore to keep open. It felt like an eternity for sleep to pull me in, but I guess it did eventually.

Then I dreamt of Gadreel and my mother. None of it made sense. It was like images that moved, but didn't progress to reveal a sort of story. When I opened my eyes, my dreams remained nothing but blurred images that didn't make sense.

The motel room was still dark and when I looked over at his bed, noticed that he had turned over, giving me the chance to stare at his beautiful face. He looked peaceful in his sleep. I smiled weakly as I noticed that his hair was messy. He looked cute. I stared at him until I was too tired and fell asleep again.

The next time I woke up, light seeped through the curtains and I noticed that his bed was empty. I jolted up in bed, thinking he was gone, but heard his voice.

"Good morning." He said. I glanced over and met his eyes. He was sitting on the sofa with the television turned on, the volume low.

"Yeah. Morning." I said and quickly began fixing my hair as best as I could without a mirror. He glanced back at the television and I hurried to the bathroom. I fixed my hair and my clothes, smelled them and decided to just change my shirt.

When I walked out of the bathroom, it hit me. I was driving around twice yesterday and I never thought about buying him some clothes.

God, I suck.

I walked over to my bag, pulled out a clean shirt and stood behind the sofa, quickly changing shirts before he saw me. Actually, I think I'd be okay if he saw me…

I sat down beside him and glanced over at him. I didn't know how to say it, so I just blurted it out.

"Do you want me to buy you some clothes?" I asked him and he met my eyes. His facial expression was hard and intense. He glanced down at himself and then back at me, slightly puzzled.

"This is fine." He said and I let out a small laugh. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I felt my cheeks heat up a bit and tightened my lips into an awkward smile.

"You can't wear the same clothes all the time." I said and smiled more as he continued to look at me with that puzzled look on his face. "We can grab some food and then do a bit of shopping." I said and I leapt to my feet and grabbed my wallet and keys.

I didn't glance at him to see if he was still somewhat confused. By the time I reached the door, he was getting off the sofa and following me out to my car. I returned to that other restaurant, the one without a skanky waitress and ordered breakfast. He glanced at me with a hint of sadness and when our order had been taken, he had that unattractive pouty face.

"I apologize for making you spend your money on me." He said and it made me smile sympathetically at him.

"Don't be." I replied with way too much sweetness in my voice. I toned it down, quickly. "What am I supposed to do; let you starve?" I asked and his sadness faded, but there was something else. Did he look guilty?

"It isn't easy for you to gain money." He said, telling me what I told him. I don't know if he was guilty, but I was. I looked at him, sort of seriously, and sighed.

"Yeah, but if I didn't spend my money on you too, that would just be heartless." I said and now, it hit me. Now is the time to tell him. I stared at him and felt the tension, but it was mostly self-imposed. "I want to help you." I added and there was a softness in his eyes.

"That's kind of you." He said and I just stared at him, feeling like he didn't understand what I was saying. He looked down at the table and I just blurted it all out.

"I want to help you adjust to being a human." I said and when he met my eyes, it was more than softness that I was seeing. He looked vulnerable. "That night, we were the only ones out on that highway. I believe I'm supposed to help you and I want to." I added and fought the urge to say that our meeting wasn't coincidental. Not only that, but I picked my words carefully. That last thing I wanted to do was make it sound like no one else wanted to help him or that I was afraid of him leaving me.

Gadreel just looked at me as if he wasn't sure what to think. Then he smiled softly and he seemed sort of relieved.

"Thank you." He said and when our food arrived shortly after that, we ate in silence. I kept thinking about what I could do to help him. I thought about teaching him how to hunt. He could help me. Imagine, the two of us hunting together. We'd be a team. I wouldn't be alone.

_I wouldn't be alone._ Finally.

Then I thought that maybe, we could get romantically involved. But, formerly being an angel, I wasn't sure if that was a possibility. He'd probably find it uncomfortable and try to avoid physical contact.

Great. Just great. I have a really hot guy with me and he might just not be interested in me. Oh, that's gonna suck.

And that thought made me want to stop eating. And I was still hungry. So, I thought about other things, like how I wanted him to talk more; say more than just "thank you". I wanted him to say something about being with me. Does he think it's a coincidence or does he feel like I do: that we're sort of meant to meet each other?

I wanted to know, but couldn't bring myself to ask.

When we finished our breakfast, I drove to a thrift store to buy him some clothes. I felt sort of bad that I would buy him second-hand clothes, but that's how I bought mine; how I saved my money. And he didn't seem to mind.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I watched him as he looked at all the men's shirts on the rack. His facial express was hard to read and when it seemed he needed help, I began looking and pulling out shirts. Eventually, I noticed how he stopped looking through the rack and just followed me as I went along.

I'd ask him if he liked this and that and he'd just look at me blankly. Apparently, he didn't care. I couldn't help but smile at him. God, he's gorgeous!

I handed my pile of shirts to him and went on to the jeans. I wasn't sure what size he took, so I had two options: either I guessed or I checked. And, I doubted Gadreel would appreciate me checking the tag of his jeans. So, if the jeans I picked were too small, then I'd just keep trying. I grabbed briefs and boxers for him and he looked at me, eyebrows knit together in puzzlement.

"Underwear." I said and he seemed a little embarrassed. "What kind are you wearing right now?" I asked him and he seemed really stunned now. I grinned and looked at the briefs. I guess it didn't matter.

Once his arms were full, I brought him over to the changing rooms and told him to try on the shirts first. I sat down and glanced around. The store was full of junk and only a few employees going around cleaning and organizing.

He stepped out in one of the shirts and stood there, staring at me. It hit me that he was waiting for my approval. I looked at this dark short sleeved shirt that was a little snug and nodded with a slight smile. It showed his well toned chest and I knew that shirt was a keeper. He may disagree a little, but he didn't protest.

He continued trying on shirts and when I would laugh, he sort of got the hang of it. Laughing meant no. When I would smile, he knew it was a keeper. It's when I would stare at him and bite my lower lip that had him confused. I had to snap out of it and nod in approval.

As I had guessed, the jeans were too tight and short. So I found larger sizes and when we had found the right fit, I really bit my lower lip. The jeans he had on really made his ass look good. I did it on purpose to ask him to stand with his back towards me so I could make sure the jeans fitted him well. I think he was baffled, but yet again, he didn't protest.

"Anne?" he would say and I'd snap out of it, nodding my head with a stupid smile on my face. He'd step back into the changing room and I'd fight the urge to smack myself in the forehead for staring at him.

He was probably thinking I was crazy.

"Do I have to try on the underwear?" he asked me and I nearly laughed out loud. Part of me wanted to say yes, but my morals wouldn't let me.

"You can, but don't step out. Just tell me if they fit well." I replied and after a few minutes, he told me they were alright.

When he stepped out in the clothes I found him in, I realized he had tried on all the clothes I had picked out. He had about the same amount of clothes as me, so we were done. As the woman at the till added it all up, he kept glancing at me with that hint of sadness. When I met his eyes, he looked down at my wallet, then back at me.

"I'll find a way to pay you back." He said and I titled my head at him with a smile.

"Don't worry about it." I replied and paid the woman, who smiled at us so sweetly, well mostly me. She made me feel like I was the angel.

Gadreel carried most of the bags, as if that was his way of paying me back. I placed them in the back seat of my car and drove back to the motel. The first thing Gadreel did was grab all the bags so I didn't have to carry them. It was difficult not to grin.

Once inside, I suggested he change his clothes. He didn't seem to mind and when he stepped out, it was hard not to stare at him. The black and grey plaid buttoned shirt looked good on him, showing off his muscular arms and then the jeans hugged his ass nicely.

Uh, I didn't want to stop staring.

Then I noticed him staring at me. What caught me off guard was that slight smile on his lips. I blushed and smiled awkwardly, then turned away, turning on the television. I sat on the sofa and tried not to glance at him as he sat beside me.

"You often stare at me." He said and I fought the urge to say "shit!" I glanced at him and continued to blush. What the Hell was I going to say, especially since he looked at me as if my behavior perplexed him. There was a sort of smile on his lips, but I don't know if that helped or made it worst.

"I've been alone for too long." I said and wondered if that sounded okay or if it made me sound desperate and crazy. He continued to look at me that way, but eventually just smiled softly.

"So have I." he replied, which sort of surprised me, but, at the same time, sort of relieved me. Maybe he did feel the same thing as me; that we were supposed to meet. He looked at the television and didn't say anything else. I wanted him to, but I told myself that I had to be patient. Maybe after some time together, he'll open up some more.

Then something appeared on the screen: five mysterious deaths. That was something all too familiar. We both listened attentively and once the reporters finished, I took out my laptop and began researching. I hadn't realized at first that Gadreel was looking over my shoulder at the article I was reading.

The attacks happened at night and the victims were dragged into the forest and devoured. The only thing that helped the police figure out who were the victims was DNA testing. There was nothing that identified the bodies.

It was even difficult to say what caused the deaths. People speculated it was wolves or wild dogs, but others, more superstitious, claimed it was various types of monsters. That part of the community couldn't agree on what kind of monster. But I was going to find out.

I found the town on one of my maps, marked which roads to take and started loading up my car. Gadreel pretty much did that while I returned the motel keys to the owner who, apparently, was always pissed off, not just late at night. What an asshole.

Gadreel continued to research as I drove, once I told him how to operate my laptop. I was sort of surprised how fast he learnt and how fast he was finding out other bits of information.

By the bodies, the police found bits of bones and teeth that didn't belong to the victims. That led the police to believe that it was a sort of serial killer with ritualistic behaviors, not that they were behavioral analysts or anything. It was simply their educated guess, or so I thought.

He closed my laptop after that new bit of information and helped me to figure out which roads to take.

When I spotted a gas station, I used some of my money to put in some gas and buy some snacks. I didn't have much money left. I had to keep the rest for a motel and after that, I'd have to gain more money. It stressed me out every time and Gadreel was quick to take notice.

"Why don't I drive?" he asked me and I glanced at him, not sure if he was serious.

"Do you know how?" I asked him and the look on his face was my answer: no. I sighed as I began to consider it. Did I want to teach him how to drive when there's a case that needs a hunter? When I glanced back at him, I sighed again.

I handed him my keys and told him what to do. Once again, he was quick to learn. He was a little awkward at first, but then drove smoothly. He could even glance at the map without swerving into the other lane. I was impressed. And then, naturally, I relaxed and took a nap.

I was drifting into sleep, still a part of me awake. Nonetheless, I did fall asleep; enough where I had dreams again about Gadreel and my mother. Yet again, they didn't make sense. I couldn't understand what I was seeing and when I opened my eyes, I didn't remember much. Not that there was much to remember in the first place.

The sky was dark and Gadreel had slowed to a stop. When I glanced around, I didn't know if we had arrived or if this was just another town to pass through.

"Do I keep driving?" he asked me and I wasn't quite fully awake to understand. I glanced around again and knew what he meant. There was a motel off to the right. Either we sleep off the night or we keep driving. I don't think he could drive during the night like I had done several times.

Then that reminded me of how we met. I didn't want him to drive tired and hit someone.

"Drive to a quiet, but safe, place and we can sleep in the car." I said and when I caught that confused look in his eyes, I sighed. "I don't have much money left." I added and he nodded, as if feeling bad; as if he should have known.

"Alright." He said and kept driving until there was a nice park with a few campers. I expected to see park rangers or fences keeping us out until we paid, but I didn't see any of that. It was just a park for people that wanted to pitch a tent and enjoy a nice quite small town. How convenient.

Gadreel parked the car behind some trees and bushes so we were well hidden. I told him to lock his door as I locked mine, how to slide the seat back and how to lower the back of the seat so we could lay down as much as we could rather than sleep while sitting.

The silence was almost deafening, but after a while, I didn't seem to notice it. Being in this park made me wonder what camping was like. My mother and I never went camping. We weren't the outdoor type. And she was always working, being the only bread winner in the house.

As I sneaked a peak at Gadreel, I wondered if I'd ever have the chance to go camping with him. Or was this as close as I was ever going to get?

I closed my eyes and imagined what that would be like: Gadreel cooking wieners over a fire as I prepare the hot dog buns at the picnic table. For desert, we're going to have s'mores. Then we do some star gazing until we're tired, then we curl up in our tent and keep each other warm throughout the night.

That sounded like the dream I wanted to have.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

My dream was the same: Gadreel and my mother without any logical sense. It was getting to be frustrating, especially when I had pictured the two of us camping. It was perfect and then my dreams had to go and be fucked up.

Although, when I opened my eyes and looked at Gadreel, I felt that frustration slip away. I may not have had a beautiful dream about us camping, but I guess I can say I sort of was camping with him now. Granted it's in my car without hot dogs, s'mores, star gazing and cuddling.

When he opened his eyes shortly after I did, I smiled and brought my seat back up. I stifled a yawn and rubbed my face as Gadreel brought his seat back up. We quietly ate some of the snacks I had bought last night and then drove out of the park and towards that town.

Somewhere on the back seat was my bag that contained my journal. I had to unbuckle myself just so I could reach and pull it out. Gadreel glanced at me, uncertain of what I was doing, then seemed curious as he saw my journal.

I began writing all that we knew so far about this case and when I was finished, he still looked slightly curious: raised eyebrow and a hint of that clenched jaw with those pouty lips.

"Do you record everything into your journal?" he finally asked and glanced over at me once again as I struggled to put back my journal.

"Pretty much." I said once I buckled myself back into my seat. I met his eyes briefly before he looked out at the road again. "Helps me to do better on future hunts and keeps me sane." I added and then he glanced at me briefly again. "If I kept everything bottled up in my head, I think I'd go crazy." I specified and the corner of his lips twitched, as if he was attempting a smile, but didn't have the emotion to support it.

When we arrived at the small town, we quickly stopped at the motel and I spent a huge chunk of my remaining money to pay for our room. I really didn't have much money left, especially for food. It hit me hard just how fast my money was going now that I wasn't alone. I was beginning to have cynical thoughts, like this was my price to pay for having a companion.

Sad, I know. Harsh too.

Gadreel glanced at me as if he could see just how this whole money issue had me stressed out, let alone the case. I felt guilty because I didn't want him to blame himself. This was the life of a hunter and if I was wrong, then I really needed to meet other hunters. How the Hell do they do it?

Once all of our things were inside the motel room, I had a plan forming in my head. I wasn't sure if it was going to work, but I had to have faith that Gadreel wasn't useless. Harsh, I know, but the guy is smart and he could help me. I need to get money and I hated putting off the hunt, but he could do that for me. A win-win situation.

When I turned and glanced at him, he seemed slightly worried. That made me smile.

"I have to get money, so I think you should take the car and try to find some leads on the case." I said, and then he really seemed worried. His eyebrows were knit together in a frown, his eyes were hard and he had his lips and nose all scrunched up. Wow, he really didn't look attractive now. Still, if given the chance, I wouldn't mind doing him.

Oh, I should really stop doing this.

"I'll be fine." I assured him and that didn't make him stop staring at me like that.

"We shouldn't split up." He replied and all I wanted to do was ask if it was because he worried about my safety or because he didn't want to be out on his own? Either way, I didn't bother arguing. Something told me he was dead set against us going our separate ways for a few hours.

"Fine." I said softly, as if defeated, but truly wasn't.

We went back to my car and drove to the bar in town. When we walked in, it was full enough to make me feel hopeful. Some guys were playing pool and I watched to see if they were playing for money. After a few minutes, I noticed it was just a friendly game. How boring. I watched some more to see just how good they were. They were decent players. But I was better.

So, maybe I could turn it into a game for money. I tapped Gadreel on the arm and walked over to the other pool table. I grabbed two cue sticks and handed one to Gadreel, who seemed confused to what I was doing.

I began by showing him how to play. It was nice; I was moving his arms, placing his hand to show him how to hold the cue stick. I could have continued touching him, but I had to remind myself that I was trying to get money, not quick and cheap thrills.

The other guys took notice and watched, thinking that I didn't know. I did, this was part of my strategy.

Gadreel and I began to play and after my turn, I'd show him what to do, once again, touching his arm, being close to him. For a second, I nearly forgot why I was at the bar playing pool.

The other guys came over and Gadreel immediately stood up and looked intense. It took me by surprise. Was he projecting the protective boyfriend image to these guys? If so, he was ruining my strategy, even though I liked it.

"You play pretty good." One of the guys said, looking at me with this corny smile. I had encountered guys like this before, but I knew how to handle them.

"Yeah, not so bad yourself." I replied and leaned against my pool table. "Wanna play?" I asked him and he gave a small laugh and glanced at his friends.

"Yeah." He replied and before he could approach my table, I grinned and set the rules.

"Eight-ball, play for money." I said and then he seemed sort of stunned, but flashed another corny smile at me.

"Twenty." He said and I maintained my grin. I wanted more money than that, but I knew I'd eventually get it.

"For starters." I replied and racked up the fifteen balls into the triangle. Once they were good, I gently lifted the triangle up and placed it aside on the counter next to the table. "Let the game begin." I added and glanced at my opponent.

He let me make the break and I accepted. Whatever. It's not how you start, it's how you finish. So I made the break at an angle and we continued from there.

I knew that even though Gadreel watched the game, it was a lot to take in without someone explaining it to him. At this point, I wouldn't know where to begin explaining; I just played and focused on what to do to win.

And win I did. I won twenty dollars and then his friends wanted to play me, as if thinking they could beat me and get that money back for their defeated comrade. They even gambled more than twenty dollars.

They were in for a shocker.

After a little over three hundred dollars, no one wanted to play with me anymore and they even left the bar. That made me want to laugh, but a good player didn't gloat. Or in this case, a broke hunter that needed every dollar she could get.

Gadreel and I continued to play, but I was watching the others in the bar, trying to figure out who else I could get money from.

At that point, one guy, tall and built like a wrestler, came up and smiled at me. I let Gadreel play and walked up to this guy, thinking that maybe he would challenge me.

"You playing for money." He said, as if I had no idea what I was doing. I could have laughed, but settled for a grin.

"Yeah." I replied and he shifted on his other foot, making him stand closer to me.

"Why don't you come play with me and earn a lot more money." He said and that look in his eyes made my stomach twist. I lost my grin at that point and before he said or did anything else, Gadreel quickly stepped in and pushed the guy back, placing one arm in front of me as if to tell the guy that he couldn't touch me.

He just stared at the guy, but from what I could see, his body language was intense; warning the guy to back off and showing a bit of anger as if saying that he wasn't afraid to fight. I couldn't help but stare at his jaw which was clenched tightly, revealing his perfectly chiseled jaw.

The guy glanced at me, which made Gadreel stiffen and shove the man back a bit more. The guy glared, but walked away. When he sat at his table with his friends, Gadreel continued to stare at him with that intensity.

Eventually, he turned and looked at me without toning down that fierce look in his eyes. It made me want to shrink and look away, but I couldn't. Nonetheless, I couldn't take him looking at me that way. It hurt.

"You should never let someone take advantage of you." He said, his voice so harsh and cold that I felt sharp pings in my eyes. I knew I was about to form a few tears if I didn't do something. I had to do something. I couldn't just stand there and take this. I had to stand up for myself and show him that I didn't need him to preach at me.

So, I narrowed my eyes at him and put as much of my own anger into my expression as possible.

"I never did and I wasn't." I snapped and brushed against him hard to leave the pool table and then the bar. I got into my car and thought about driving away without him, but I couldn't. So, I settled for the silent treatment and anger in every movement I made.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

At least I had made a little more than three hundred dollars, but what Gadreel said to me, especially how, made my happiness wither away with the amount of sadness I was feeling. Not only that, but I was really angry. Who the Hell did he think he was, talking to me like that? Making me sound like a cheap whore?

As I drove to the sites where the bodies were found, my anger still burned and I remained silent towards him, even refused looking at him. He knew he had crossed a line and I knew this because he wasn't say anything. Then again, he never said anything.

The police tape was up and we couldn't get any closer. The worst was that cops and reporters were there and no one wanted to tell us what they knew. Luckily, the site of the first body was guarded only by police tape. I ducked under it and got as close as I wanted, crouching close to the ground, trying to see anything that could tell me what I was dealing with. Gadreel just stood behind me, looking for clues as well.

So far, I wasn't seeing anything and my concentration pretty much shriveled up when Gadreel crouched down next to me. Part of me wanted to push him over so he'd fall on his ass. Yeah, it was safe to say that I had tendencies to lash out went I was hurting.

Gadreel tenderly tapped my arm and I violently shook it, as if warning him not to touch me. I saw him pointing to something and tried to see it. Eventually, I noticed it. The police didn't pick up everything, but that was alright; it gave me the chance to see what I was facing.

I returned to the car, pulled out plastic gloves for Gadreel and myself and returned to the site. I had pulled on my pair and instead of handing the others to Gadreel; I dropped them on the ground next to him. He still didn't say anything.

I stood opposite to where I was earlier and picked up what Gadreel had pointed out. It was slimy and I knew this was my vital clue… if only I knew what the Hell it was.

I started thinking of all the monsters I read about and thought maybe this was a shapeshifter. But I knew that shapeshifters didn't eat people or leave behind bones and teeth that didn't belong to the victims. So that got me thinking… what left behind slime and ate people?

Then it hit me and I could have jumped up and throw my hands in the air, if I wasn't so pissed off at Gadreel.

It was a ghoul. They could shapeshift and they ate people, living or dead. That was my monster.

Now the only thing that bothered me was the bones, teeth and devouring the body so badly that it couldn't be identified; not eating everything so nothing is left behind. That's what I had to figure out. Who knows, I might be wrong; it might not be a ghoul. But so far, that was my best guess.

I peeled off my gloves and returned to the car. I knew Gadreel was confused, but if he wasn't talking, neither was I._ Especially me_. He was going to have to apologize if he wanted me to stop giving him the cold shoulder.

From that point, I drove to the only diner in town, which was full, and sat there, looking at a menu. I wasn't trying to order food; I was listening to what the people had to say. If I couldn't talk to the police or hack into their files; I was going to settle for word of mouth. And that always passed around faster.

So far, the people were just saying what I already knew. However, there was something new.

"Don't you think it's stupid that the sheriff didn't test the bones and teeth?" one guy at the counter asked and the one beside him smacked him lightly in the arm.

"Joe, they did!" he said and then drank his coffee. Joe glanced at him, slightly offended.

"Yeah, they don't belong to the victims." An elder woman said at the far booth, sitting with what probably as her husband. Joe glanced at her and grunted.

"I mean all those bones and teeth might belong to one person. Why don't they find out who that person is?" he said and then everyone went quiet, as if thinking it over. Their faces all indicated that they hadn't thought of it and now believed it was a good idea. Hell, even I thought that was a good idea.

"You should tell the sheriff, Joe" One woman said who was sitting alone. She was middle aged and looked liked a librarian. What struck me as odd was that everyone looked at her as if she was covered in blood.

"Yeah, if he didn't listen to you, what makes you think he'll listen to me?" Joe asked and then the woman began to tremble. Then she began to cry.

"It's true." She said and, immediately, the waitress serving coffee went to comfort her. "I wasn't lying and you aren't. Something has to give!" she said and quickly left the diner, shaken and upset. I watched her like a hawk as she left to see which car belonged to her. She got into a brand new red mustang and tore off. That car would be easy to spot in a town like this.

When the coffee waitress came around, I ordered just coffee for the both of us and quickly asked her what that woman meant. She looked at me as if she couldn't trust me with that bit of information, so now was the time to lie.

"I'm a University student studying journalism. I heard about the deaths and I'd like to write this story, but I don't have the heart to go asking people about the deceased." I said and made my eyes soft and somewhat sad. The waitress quickly caved in and lowered her voice.

"Marleen told the sheriff that she saw Mrs. Jones, the second last victim, walking down Main Street the morning after her death. Marleen didn't know she was dead and knew she wasn't crazy or seeing ghosts." The waitress said and glanced at the others in the diner, as if checking to see if anyone heard her telling this to a stranger. "No one really believes her, except us." She added and walked away to grab some cups, then returned and poured the coffee.

"Thanks." I said and then she smiled at me.

"On the house, for being the only journalist I know to have a heart." She said and walked away. I smiled weakly because I had just saved money. Unfortunately, I couldn't smile like I normally would because what Gadreel did still hurt like a bitch.

I really don't know why at that point it was still hurting; it's not like he had hit me. But it hurt because he made it sound like I would sell myself just so I could have money, like I didn't care about myself. That's what hurt. He thought of me as a whore at that moment. He didn't know me. He didn't know anything. He hears one guy offer me money for sex and, all of a sudden, I've always been a hooker that needs to be saved by the wrath of God?

That's why it hurt and why I was still angry towards him. When I finished my coffee, I got up and left and knew he would follow. I had to go to the motel, write all of this down in my journal, research how to kill a ghoul, find it and kill it.

Once we got there, I did what I had to do. It sort of felt like I was out on my own again. Only, not really, since Gadreel kept following me like a lost dog. It was cute, but annoying when I was angry at him. I felt like telling him to stay out of my way; stay in the room and leave me alone while I hunt.

I sat that the small kitchen table with my journal and my laptop and fought to urge to look at him as he took the chair in front of me and just sat there. I don't know what he was doing, but I didn't care.

Once I was done writing in my journal, I began my research on ghouls. There was a lot of phony websites, but one of them was by a University professor. I researched him to see if I could trust him and when so many websites called him crazy, I knew I could trust him.

According to him, ghouls could be killed by a simple decapitation. That was cool… if only I had something bigger than a hunting knife.

So, the next step was to locate the ghoul. They can take any form of someone they ate. For sure, they wouldn't be going around looking like one of the deceased. So maybe there was someone that they ate and no one knew about it yet.

And I was guessing that maybe Marleen could help out.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

As I was putting my journal and laptop away, getting ready to visit Marleen, Gadreel stood up and stopped me in my tracks; his voice breaking my cold silence.

"What did I do for you to ignore me?" he asked and I just stood there with my back turned to him. What do I do? Tell him or just keep going and let him figure it out? I really didn't know what to do, so I just let my instincts tell me what to do.

I turned and looked at him, feeling that anger and that hurt rise up into my face after I tried so hard to bury them deep. He looked at me and it wasn't until that moment that I realized he also looked angry and hurt. For a few seconds, we just stared at each other, speechless, but I had to answer him. It was beginning to burn and annoy me, like I wouldn't be able to do anything else until I told him.

"I never once lowered myself to prostitution." I said with my hurt feelings seeping into my voice. "And you, who the Hell do you think you are throwing that in my face?" I asked him and his anger faded away, showing only sadness. "I don't need you treating me like that and if you ever do again, you'll never see me again." I added and I could feel that I was on the verge of tears if I didn't control myself.

He remained silent for a long time. I turned away and continued with my stuff. It felt like I was giving up as I began zipping up my bags, only putting aside the ones that contained my weapons.

"How can I fix this?" he asked and I my anger just burst as I turned and snapped at him, harsher than I intended.

"Say sorry!"

Gadreel just stared at me like a wounded puppy and it made it more difficult for me to fight against my tears. He was so silent and I wished I hadn't been so cold at that moment.

"I'm sorry, Anne." He said so softly that I couldn't fight it anymore. Those tears fell from my eyes and I turned away, wiping them. I hated crying in front of people. This was so awkward that I wasn't sure what to do. What do I say? I really wished that this predicament never happened. We were doing okay and then it turned ugly. How could we ever get over this?

When I turned again, ready to attempt fixing this, it almost startled me how close Gadreel was standing next to me. He was right behind me, still looking sad. His eyes are what stunned my anger into cooling down. Then we stared at each other and my instincts told me what to do.

I threw myself against him, wrapping my arms around his waist and buried my head in his chest. It was at that moment that I felt like I did the wrong thing, but I almost cried even more when I felt his arms hesitantly wrapping around me. I was hugging Gadreel and he was hugging me back. This was just as good as his apology; this was fixing the rip that was between us.

I didn't want to let go, and I wouldn't have if I didn't have a ghoul to kill. I reluctantly lowered my arms and pulled back, as I did, he placed his arms back at his sides. I fought the urge to look up at him, but did anyway.

Our eyes met and I could see that the sadness was fading from his beautiful green eyes. When I gave him a soft and small smile, he mirrored my smile. I knew what I had to say, but it was so hard to push out. It weighted on me and made me tense up. But I had to tell him. He had to hear it.

"I forgive you." I said and I was so stunned when I saw a tremendous glimmer of relief in his eyes and on his face. Judging by that reaction, Gadreel didn't hear those words very often. Had anyone ever forgiven him for the fall of Eden? It made me feel guilty that I had been so hard on him.

He was locked up and tortured for as long as humans existed and I ignored him as a punishment for what he said to me? It made me feel so guilty, that I felt that the right thing to do was apologize.

"Gadreel," I began, my voice so soft, making it sound like I was going to cry again. "I'm sorry." I added and that relief remained on his face. I guess he didn't hear those words often either. He smiled and just stared into my eyes.

"It's alright." He said softly and then we just stood there, awkward and silent. I had to do something to break the tension, so when I turned to grab the bags I had set aside, Gadreel quickly grabbed them for me and smiled softly at me. I couldn't help but smile too.

Finally, going back to normal.

What had happened at the bar all the way up until now was not what I had imagined. I couldn't believe just how fast that had happened. I thought for sure that, if it would ever happen, that we wouldn't fight until months after being together. On the other hand, it was nice to see that we overcame that conflict and quickly got back to how it was. I was relieved.

All of this made me appreciate the kind of relationship we had, even though it seemed we didn't have one. Well, that's not true. We seem like friends, but I don't think we'll ever be anything more. I have to admit, that makes me a little disappointed, but having Gadreel as a friend is better than not having him at all.

Once we were in my car, I filled Gadreel in on everything, just in case he didn't figure it out on his own, and drove out of the motel parking lot. I began taking the residential streets to find the brand new red mustang that Marleen drove. Once I turned down a street, my eyes scanned for a red car. If I didn't see one, I continued driving, looking into the garages if the doors were open.

Even Gadreel was looking for that Mustang.

I did this to every street until I was more than half-way through the town. Eventually, I found that brand new red Mustang and parked my car in front of her house. Gadreel walked with me up to her front door and we waited after I rang her doorbell.

It was nice having someone with me on hunts. Looking back, there were moments where I could have used that. Hunting alone was a terrible idea because I could have easily been killed. Now, Gadreel had my back.

Once the door opened, it was Marleen, looking confused.

"You don't know me," I began, voice soft to let her know that I wasn't a threat to her. "But I was at the diner earlier. I wanted to ask you about seeing Mrs. Jones that morning." I added and she looked at Gadreel oddly, as if considering either inviting me in or slamming the door in my face.

I knew I had to say something a little more helpful.

"I'm studying to be a journalist and I feel your story is very important." I said, hoping that I nailed it. When she stood aside and gestured for us to come in, I was relieved. Sometimes it wasn't easy figuring out the right things to say.

She led us to her living room and invited us to make ourselves comfortable. Her house smelled a little weird, but it was partially dusty and full of antique furniture.

"Would you like something to drink?" she asked and I smiled.

"No thank you." I said and glanced at Gadreel who looked around at the stuff she had on her walls. Yeah, I didn't peg Marleen for an old spirit either, even if she was a librarian.

"What did you want to know?" she asked me, staring right at me, sitting in her chair so calmly. It was quite a different image compared to what I saw at the diner. But I guess it wasn't easy having a lot of people not believing you.

"Have you seen anything peculiar after seeing Mrs. Jones that morning?" I asked her and she tightened her lips as if trying to think.

"Not really. Why do you ask?" she said and that's the part I always hate. I have to be quick and sometimes, I just keep using the same lie over and over. So far, it worked, I guess. Well, I was still alive, so that has to count for something.

"These deaths are quite unusual and it has many thinking that it's not a human killer." I said and her eyes sort of lit up when I said it. "If you saw Mrs. Jones the morning after she had died, then I think there's something –"

"Supernatural." She said before I could. I smiled and nodded in agreement. "Well, now that you mention it," she said and stood up, smiling sweetly. "You should see this." She said and then I felt on alert. It was my hunter instincts telling me to be careful. I didn't like the sound of this, but knew that whatever it was she had to show me, it was my clue to finding the ghoul.

I followed her and she brought me to the back of the house, to a bedroom. She opened the door and on the bed, was someone that looked a lot like Marleen.

No. It _was_ Marleen.

Before I could turn around and face the imposter, I was hit hard in the back of my head and I fell to the ground, my vision turning black instantly.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

When I woke up, my head was killing me. I glanced around and the room was dark, but that wasn't what had me in a panic. My wrists and ankles were tied and all I could do was squirm helplessly.

When I followed the fake Marleen, I was certain that Gadreel had followed me. So if she hit me, what did she do to him? That's when my panic went into full gear. I hadn't yet taught him how to do basic hunter things. Did he know how to defend himself? Could he take care of himself?

I tried to remain calm, but it was just so terrifying. Was I going to die? If so, that was going to suck. I didn't even have the chance to go out with Gadreel as more than friends.

A door opened and light filled the room. I realized I was in the basement of Marleen's house and the ghoul was coming to eat me. It would be pretty sad if the only way I can kill her is if she chokes to death on my flesh and blood.

As she began climbing down the stairs, I glanced around and tried to see what I could use. There were a lot of sharp objects I could use to decapitate the bitch, but something else caught my attention: Gadreel.

He was tied to an old metal bed frame like I was and he was still unconscious. I felt like crying. There was my help: as helpless as me. I had to think fast. How could I get myself out of this situation? I needed sheer luck right now.

As the ghoul came down the stairs, I did the only thing I could: pray. This was my very own Wiccan prayer that I had used many times and I feel that it has always worked for me.

_Hecate, please help me in this hour; give me strength and give me power. All I want is to survive; help me to get out alive. By the powers of three times three; let your light shine down on me. If I be worthy of your light; let me live another night._

I continued to repeat my prayer in my head and when the ghoul stepped off the last step, I closed my eyes and concentrated on my prayer.

I could hear the ghoul humming and stand right beside me. My heart was racing so fast that I thought for sure she could hear it. All of a sudden, she pushed back the eyelids of my right eye and grinned down at me. The light from the doorway only showed me half of her face and it made my skin crawl.

"Rise and shine." She said in a sing-song voice that made my stomach twist. "Since you're so sweet, I think I'll save you for desert." She said and glanced at Gadreel. That's when my panic sort of turned into anger. She wasn't going to lay a finger on _my_ Gadreel.

"Just shut up and eat me." I snapped and she looked down at me and laughed.

"Giving up so soon?" she asked me and I curled back my lips and spoke with hatred.

"No, but I hate it when you monsters talk like I actually give a shit." I replied and then she glowered at me, as if I was the monster. She stood up straight and glared down at me, making me feel like an insect that was about to see the bottom of her shoe.

"It's you people that are the monsters." She said with venom in her voice. "Joe was right, you know." She added and my mind went back to what he said about the bones and teeth found next to the victims: they must all belong to one person. "Everyone I ate had it coming." She said and looked away, as if trying to hide her sadness from me. Then her facial expression changed. "And you, thinking I wouldn't know a hunter if I saw one."

Before she could say something else, I decided to get her back to that sadness she tried to avoid.

"Who was it?" I asked and when she glanced down at me, she tried to look cold, but she couldn't hide her sadness from me. We continued to stare at each other, than the sadness took over.

"My daughter." She replied and looked away. "They killed my daughter." She added and remained silent for a few seconds, but looked down at me, grabbed my wrist in her hand and in the other, I saw something shiny: a knife.

She didn't want to talk anymore, but I was going to make her.

"What happened?" I asked, sounding sincere. She glared at me, as if fighting the urge to tell me. "Humor me, okay?" I asked her and she stood up straight, as if considering it. "If I'm going to die due to your hatred, I'd like to know what they did to your daughter." I added and her eyes were so cold, as if she didn't believe I actually cared a little.

Truth is, sometimes I found myself seeing the world in shades of grey. This case began as black and white and now, I saw a mother ghoul angry because her daughter was killed. Was I sincere about caring? Yes, but she murdered those people and, out of her rage, destroyed other families. She was just making others suffer because she was suffering. The only thing I could do is put her out of her misery before another family was destroyed.

"I had told my daughter to stay at the cemetery, out of sight, as I went and got her something to eat. She didn't listen and tried to be independent. Those people were walking home one night and found my daughter eating a corpse.

"They freaked, called her a demon and killed her. I know this because I made them talk before I made them scream; just like the way they made my daughter scream. I heard her and I was too late. They killed my baby and I swore to return the favor." She said with rage and pain in her voice. "With them I left reminders of my daughter to honor her life." She concluded. In a way, I could understand and I felt like I couldn't quite blame her. Only, I could.

Then, I thought for sure I was out of time, until, at that moment, her doorbell rang. She snarled in frustration, glared at me, placed her knife on the metal frame beside me and stormed up the stairs, closing the door and returning me to darkness. Now I struggled like crazy, not caring if I tore at my skin and bled.

I think it was zip ties around my wrists and ankles. It wouldn't be easy, but I had to try. I yanked, twisted and turned as much as I could. I felt the plastic cut into my wrists, but I didn't care; wounds eventually heal.

With my own blood, I could feel my left wrist slipping in and out a lot more than it had before. I had to continue and clench my teeth through the pain. Once my wrist and hand was slipping more, I yanked hard and got my wrist free.

Very carefully, I began feeling the metal bed frame around me for that knife. Once I felt it, I carefully picked it up. The last thing I want to do is drop it. Then I'm screwed!

Once I had it in my grip, I tore at the zip ties at my left wrist and then my ankles. I quickly got up to free Gadreel, who was still out cold. Once I had him cut loose, I began searching with my hands for something long and sharp.

I felt a lot of different knives, but I needed something to decapitate her, not stab her to death.

Eventually, I found it: a long blade and I imagined it to be a machete. What the Hell was Marleen doing with stuff like this was beyond me, but it was possible that the ghoul was pretending to be Marleen for a long time now.

I stood somewhere in the shadows, somewhere the light from upstairs couldn't shine down on me. I thought of behind the stairs and hoped that if I walked around, to stand behind her, that it would work. I had to be quick and quiet.

When I heard her footsteps, I knew behind the stairs has to be my spot because it was too late.

The door opened and light poured in. Sure enough, I was still in the shadows. She came down and cursed when she saw that I was gone. She looked at Gadreel and that's when I approached from behind, quiet as I could be.

I had to give her credit: she wasn't stupid. She turned just as I was an arm reach behind her and as she launched forward, I side stepped and swung with force and speed.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled as I felt the machete go through her flesh and her neck, then I felt a bit of blood splatter on me. A few seconds later, I heard the sickening thump of her head falling to the concrete floor of the basement. Then, her body fell.

I stood there, letting it sink in that I was, yet again, alive. I looked down at her body, then glanced behind me at her head and dropped the machete. I glanced up at Gadreel and sighed. Thank goodness he was alright.

I walked over to him and stroked his hair, careful not to get my blood in his hair. As I looked down at him, I felt guilty for not teaching him "Hunting 101". He could have been killed and his blood would have been on my hands.

I stroked his firm cheeks, again careful not to leave blood, and it hit me hard just how much I appreciated having him around.

"Gadreel." I said, shaking him a little with my elbows. Eventually, his eyes fluttered opened and then his panic flooded him all at once. "Hey, relax." I said and then he just stared at me, with uncertainty and a hint of fear. "The ghoul's over there." I added and pointed behind me. He sat up hesitantly and relaxed when he saw the body and the head lying a foot apart.

He glanced at me and rubbed the back of his head, making me grin. I wanted to hug him and thought: what the Hell? I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly, but made sure that my right hand didn't touch him. Like earlier, he slowly wrapped his arms around me, but this time, sort of rested his jaw on my shoulder.

When I pulled back, he gave me a soft smile.

"Let's get out of here." I said and once he got onto his feet, looked at my right hand and titled his head, puzzled.

"Is that the ghoul's blood?" he asked me. Before I could answer, he gripped my wrist and held it up in the light to examine it. Then he met my eyes with a hint of bewilderment.

"It was the only way I could get free from my bondage." I said and he looked back at my wrist.

"You cannot leave like this." He said and before I could argue, he led me up the stairs and grabbed my arm gently, pulling me towards the kitchen. He washed my hand and wrist under the tap and once cleaned; he tore a white thin towel into strips and wrapped them around my wrist.

As slightly annoyed as I was, being treated like a kid, it was nice having him touch my hand and take care of me. I couldn't help but stare at him the whole time. God was he so damned attractive. If I was the impulse type of person, I would have kissed him right then and there. Hell, probably would have grabbed his firm ass too.

Once he was satisfied that my wound had been attended to, we left the house before anyone came by to see two dead Marleens.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

We drove back to the motel room and we just relaxed on the sofa, watching television. We didn't talk about the case, but I wrote about it in my journal, especially about my prayer, as Gadreel watched the screen. He glanced over at me now and then and when I was done, I gave it to him to read. I watched him as he read and when he was finished, handed it back to me, meeting my eyes. I saw a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"You did the right thing." He assured me, but we both didn't feel very victorious. Five townspeople just killed a little girl for being a ghoul. They killed her out of fear and lacked understanding what lurked in the shadows. Not all monsters have to be killed. That's the shades of grey I've come to see.

And I was sure Gadreel saw them too.

"How did the ghoul get you?" I asked him and he glanced at me, face blank.

"I was shortly behind you, tried to help, and she attacked from behind the door." He replied and I nodded my head. I knew he was not far behind me.

"When did you want to leave?" I asked him and he stared at me, as if unsure, then he had that slight frown on his face.

"Whenever you want." He replied. I was certain he said that because he knew I was eager to leave this town. I hated staying in the town where I just killed something. I wanted to be like an exterminator: kill and leave.

"We can put our stuff in my car and grab some food in another town." I said. He nodded his head, turning off the television and getting our stuff ready.

When we drove out of the motel parking lot, out of the town, I felt better. The more distance I had put, the more I felt like the case was part of my past and no longer weighing down on me.

Like I had promised, we ate in the next town that was a couple of hours away. The diner was almost empty, there were no slutty waitresses and it had good food. Gadreel and I ate in silence, but it was nice and relaxing, until I had to pay and realized that I wouldn't have much money for another motel room. My stress was returning and it spoiled my joy.

"What else do you do to get money?" he asked me softly so that he wouldn't be heard by anyone else. I couldn't help but grin. Not only that, but he seemed like he hoped that I wouldn't be offended.

"I do the whole three cups and a ball trick." I said and when he stared at me with that frown and slight pouty lips, I smiled and continued. "It's called the shell game. You hide a small ball under one of the three cups and shuffle them. The player gets to guess where the ball is. How I win money is either I use speed and mislead the player, or I cheat." I said and grinned as he gave me his full frown at that last word.

"You cheat?" he asked me, clearly not impressed, and I laughed.

"It's called sleight of hand." I replied with a small laugh. "I make the small ball disappear and reappear towards the end so no one gets suspicious." I added and watched as he raised an eyebrow at me, as if to say that he wouldn't preach at me because he understood that I needed money, but that he wished I did something other than trick people.

"Then there's my favorite card game." I said and his frown softened. "Speed." I said and watched as he stared at me, expression blank. "The point of the game is to get rid of your cards before your opponent. I'm very good at it." I added and gave a gleaming smile that made him smile softly.

There was also something else I did; something I should tell him about.

So when we left the diner and drove out of the town, I stopped on the side of the highway and reached for one of my bags on the back seat.

"There's one thing I do to help me." I said, smiled at him to reassure him and got out of the car with my bag. He got out too and followed me to the hood of my car where I had placed my bag and began going through it.

I had taken out a journal, but not my hunting journal, a green candle and my lighter.

I glanced at him and he seemed puzzled, but when he met my eyes, I think he already had an idea of what I was doing.

"I do candle magic, which is like a prayer over a candle of a specific color." I said and then he just stared at me. It made me feel like I was back at that bar where he scolded me, thinking I was prostituting myself. I know we got passed that, but I guess I was afraid of a repeat. "What? Angels got something against Wiccans?" I asked him, my voice taking on a cold and harsh tone. He quickly softened his stare and looked down at my journal. "I do a wealth candle magic spell." I concluded.

"You practice Witchcraft." He said as he stared at my journal intensively. I sighed, picked it up and gave it to him, trusting him to look through it. I was hoping that he would understand me, or at least not judge me.

"I practice Wicca." I corrected him. "I lost my faith when I was a teenager and discovered Wicca. It just felt right and it made me happy, less resentful towards my old faith." I said and watched his expression closely as he flipped through the pages of my Book of Shadows.

"You don't believe in God." He said with what sounded like a hint of sadness, but also a glimmer of uncertainty, as if saying that he didn't really believe that. I would have felt hurt, if I wasn't smiling. I couldn't be hard on him. He was an angel who had probably seen God and I was merely a human; I couldn't argue religion with him. But I could get him to understand me and my faith.

"I do." I said and he met my eyes, looking slightly surprised. "I just have a different name for Him." I added and when he raised an eyebrow, I explained. "Many Wiccans use different names. I use the name Cernunnos for the God and Hecate for the Goddess." I said and smiled as he seemed a little perplexed. I stopped there. I could have explained a lot more, but I didn't want to confuse him with so much information. I would take just one step at a time; if he was willing to listen.

"Why Wicca?" he asked me, his face blank, but soft.

"It felt right, like I was meant to take this path. When I was losing my faith; it felt like I was in a dark pit, hearing only the echo of my own voice. After I discovered Wicca, I felt like someone was listening _and _responding." I added and then his expression changed, but it was somewhat sad. He was silent for a couple of seconds.

"I can understand that feeling." He said and I didn't know what to say, but I guessed no words were needed. How I felt was what he had endured in Heaven. Maybe having someone knowing what he had been through was more useful than any words.

He glanced back at my Book of Shadows and flipped through the pages of spells. It seemed like he read the title of every single spell. But, only one category captivated his attention tremendously: the spells that _I, Anne Cromwell,_ had created.

"Your spells have good intentions." He said, sounding a little surprised. At that point, I began placing everything back in my bag, taking my journal gently out of his hands.

"Wicca has one golden rule: do no purposely harm others or yourself." I said and placed my journal in my bag. I could feel his eyes on me and when I glanced back at him, he wasn't frowning. "Wiccans believe in Karma. Whether it's good or bad, it comes back to us three times stronger." I added and walked over to my door, placing my bag in the back seat and standing there, smiling at Gadreel who walked back to the passenger side. He mirrored my smile and we both got into the car at the same time.

"Your spells, do they work?" he asked me and when I met his eyes, I grinned.

"That prayer I mentioned in my hunting journal is actually my 'Calling for Help' incantation." I said as if to indirectly affirm his question. He simply looked at me and smiled softly; no hint of judgment in his eyes. Did he accept my choice of faith?

With a smile on my lips, I continued driving down the highway, with the volume of my radio turned up a notch. It felt good to share my faith with someone and not feel afraid that they would fear or hate me simply because they didn't understand or didn't want to.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Gadreel had remained silent throughout the car ride, but I thought maybe he was having a bit of internal conflict. He was an angel and his new companion was a Wiccan. He seemed accepting, but I wondered if part of him was really bothered. I wanted to ask him, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I had shared something personal with him because I wanted to and because I trusted him. I wanted him to feel the same way, but on his own. Yes, I wanted to tell him that we could have a reciprocal relationship, but I didn't want to jinx it.

Eventually, he asked me if I had a spare journal he could use.

"You said that keeping a record helped you to learn and to cope." He said and I grinned.

"Yeah, in one of my bags." I said and when I glanced over at him, he met my eyes briefly, gave a small nod and looked outside the window. I couldn't help but smile. He was so gorgeous. "I was thinking," I began, which got him looking back at me. "Do you know how to handle a gun?" I asked and he seemed slightly stunned. I just wanted to get to the subject of training him as a hunter, but just couldn't push it out of me. I was surprised I even got that question out.

"No." he replied, voice somewhat flat.

"Is it alright if I teach you?" I asked him, glancing over at him once in a while to not take my eyes off the road. He seemed to consider it, and then looked back at me.

"You mean to teach me how to be a hunter." he said and I felt relieved. I wanted to cut to the chase, but wasn't sure I could. Gadreel pretty much did it for me.

"Exactly!" I said, sort of letting my excitement seep into my tone of voice. "That's, if you want to." I added, sounding calmer. When I looked at him, he gave me that soft smile.

"I would like that." He replied. "Perhaps I could teach you Enochian." He added and I glanced at him with confusion clearly written all over my face.

"What?" I asked him and he let out a small laugh. Wait, did he just laugh? Oh my Goddess, the man can laugh! Ah, he sounds so sexy.

"The language of the angels. I could teach you the Enochian sigils and what they do." he explained and I smiled slowly, enjoying that smile on his lips. Not only that, but we were having a reciprocal relationship.

"That would be cool." I said and then we returned to silence, but it was nice and I was happy. Maybe we weren't at the stage of exchanging personal things, but we were about to exchange knowledge. That was definitely a good thing.

What wasn't good was my money situation. I needed more. So, when we got into the next town, I did what I could and earned about five hundred dollars. It was safe to say that I had hit the jackpot. And Gadreel, adorable as he was, watched my back and stood close whenever someone got too cheeky.

We left the bar before anyone complained and quickly got something to eat and rented a motel room. We ate burgers and fries and talked about what we would learn from each other. Then, I took a shower. When I stepped out, Gadreel had begun writing in my spare journal and I couldn't help but stare at him. He was just so gorgeous.

When he was finished, it was his turn to shower and grabbed fresh clothes.

"When you're done, I'd like to get our clothes washed at the laundry mat." I said and he simply nodded and closed the bathroom door behind him.

I wrote in my journal too, but didn't have much to say. I sat on the sofa, turned on the television and flipped through the channels over and over, as if hoping something better would magically appear. I glanced at Gadreel's journal on the table and quickly gave myself shit.

"Anne, you are not going to read his journal, not unless you have a really good reason."

I tried to distract myself with the television and Gadreel actually finished his shower sooner than I thought. When he stepped out, he wore a Metallica t-shirt with another great pair of jeans. He looked good… too good. Oh, I wanted to let my hands wander up and down his chest, maybe down to his ass.

He grabbed his leather jacket and pulled it on.

Ah! The man does it on purpose to look so delicious!

He grabbed our bags of clothes and then turned to me. He stood there and immediately frowned at me. Oh, he caught me staring at him, didn't he? Shit!

"I want to take out my journals, candles and everything else first." I said and began unpacking so only my clothes were in the bags. Then he took my bags for me and I grabbed both keys to my car and to our room, locking the door behind me.

He placed our bags in the back seat and we drove to the laundry mat, which took me a while to find. We walked in, being the only ones in there besides an employee, and I began sorting our clothes as Gadreel watched me, head titled and eyebrows knit in incomprehension. When I was done, I began washing the darks and then washed the lights in another machine. I sat on one of the dryers and met Gadreel's eyes with a smile.

I wanted for us to talk, but we just stood there, staring at each other and then looking at everything else. Uh, how I hated this. Why couldn't we talk to each other? Why couldn't he tell me more about himself? All I knew was that he was an angel, locked up and tortured for the fall of Eden, helped Metatron, sacrificed himself for Castiel and was now human.

I wanted to know more. That's why I wanted to read his journal. My thought was that if he wouldn't tell me, he'd tell his journal.

"I was thinking, maybe tomorrow we can start our lessons." I said and he met my eyes without much expression in his face. I had to talk about something, so I fell on his training.

"Sounds alright." He replied and fell silent.

This is getting to be frustrating.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked him and when he met my eyes, he gave a slight frown. I didn't really want to ask, but I felt that I had to.

"Why do you ask?" he asked me and I raised an eyebrow at him as if saying: isn't is obvious?

"You don't talk much." I replied and then he lost that frown and seemed a little sad. I didn't mean to, I just wanted to know why he didn't want to talk to me. We had just been on a hunt together and we might be together for a long time. Like, c'mon!

He remained silent for a few seconds, but kept his gaze on me.

"I cannot stop thinking about the soul that was once in this body." He said softly, as if he didn't want the employee to hear him. I wore my confusion on my face and he paused for a few seconds. "Angels, like demons, must possess humans. Our true form can blind them. Now that I have returned to this body, to live as a human, this vessel has become my body. Its soul must have stayed in Heaven." Gadreel explained and then I understood why he was a little disconnected.

I wanted to say something, but didn't know what. How could I offer him some comfort?

"I have taken his life from him." Gadreel said, looking away from me, probably so I wouldn't see his guilt. But I didn't need to see it to know it was there.

What do I say? No, I don't believe that, stop blaming yourself?

I place my hand on his shoulder and when he met my eyes, I gave him my softest smile.

"If he's in Heaven, then I don't think he's complaining." I said and he glanced away, as if he wasn't so sure. Life on Earth wasn't easy and part of us long for death so we can have an easier and happier life on the other side. I was certain that the guy wasn't angry at Gadreel for being in Heaven.

At that point, we stayed pretty quiet.

But when the washing was over, he helped me put the clothes in the dryer. We remained silent and when they were done; I showed him how to fold them. It was adorable to see him frown as he couldn't fold them like I could. Other than that, he seemed content to help.

If only he could be like that in conversations with me.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

We headed back to the motel and, since we had nothing to do, I suggested we begin learning from each other. Gadreel didn't object and it felt really cool to share my knowledge and experience with someone. I began with my first hunt: a ghost. I had researched how to stop ghosts, which was salt and iron, and then how to get rid of them. I had found a spell to banish spirits or to help them cross over. But I didn't have time for that.

"Salt and burn their remains or something that belonged to them, you know, something they use to stay here." I said and he nodded, listening attentively with that slight frown on his handsome face. I smiled at him as he jotted everything down in his journal and copied some things from mine. I stared at him and fought the urge to reach out and stroke his sandy blond hair, or his chiseled jaw, or his thigh that wasn't that far from me...

Oh, I've been alone for way too long…

Next was my vampire hunt and I had a little bit of fun explaining the difference between real vampires and Hollywood's version. I showed him some videos on the internet and he just stared with the same facial expression.

I first showed him the cool versions, like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", "Queen of the Damned", "True Blood" and the legendary "Nosferatu". Then I showed him "Twilight" and laughed, making cruel and hilarious jokes. The only thing he did was stare at me slightly confused as to why I was so nasty.

I could have gone on with how horrible "Twilight" was with its idea of love, but I just continued with my vampire experience.

"They're like sharks, a row of sharp teeth in their gums, over their human teeth, only they retract at will." I said and watched as he wrote this all down. "Everything that Hollywood claims can kill vampires is bogus. Beheading them or using dean man's blood is the only way. Sunlight just hurts, but doesn't kill." I added and watched as he read my journal.

"You were nearly bitten." He said and I grinned.

"Not that I'd turn." I replied and smiled as he met my eyes. "Next, is my werewolf hunt." I added and recalled that hunt. It was odd because I didn't expect it to be so far from Hollywood's versions of werewolves.

"The only thing in 'all thing werewolf' is that silver is really their kryptonite." I said and then realized that Gadreel probably never saw "Superman", so I explained. "Their weakness."

He yet again wrote everything down and read my journal.

I hadn't hunted very many monsters. I heard there were so many kinds, but I had never encountered them. The ghoul was the newest one in a long time. I spent most of my time hunting vampires.

The only thing I really had left to teach was how to handle my weapons and move quickly so you don't get hurt or killed. I left the most important for last.

He closed his journal when he was done and took my journal. I watched curiously as he drew a strange symbol and then wrote "Angel Banishing" beside it. When he met my eyes, he was all serious and his eyes were hard. I listened considerately, but couldn't help smiling when he looked away. He was just so gorgeous.

"You must use your blood to draw this sigil and when you place your palm on it, all angels within the area will be cast away." He said and told me to draw one on the next page to practice. When I was done, he nodded in approval.

Then, he drew a circle with four symbols in each direction.

"This is an 'Angel Trap'." He said and looked at me. "It acts like a 'Devil's Trap', keeps the being within and it cannot escape or use its power." He added and then I arched an eyebrow.

"What's a 'Devil's Trap'?" I asked him and he drew it underneath the "Angel Trap". It was a pentacle with symbols inside. Once he drew them and wrote down their names beside them, I drew them to practice.

Gadreel drew another and said it was similar to an "Angel Trap". If drawn in a room, the angel's powers are useless. He called it the "Angel Imprisoning Sigil". Next was the "Angel Suppressing Sigil" which gives control to the vessel that the angel is using, and the "Angel Ward", which protects a place against angels.

Gadreel also told me about the "Angel Summoning" ritual, which sounded very complicated. Luckily, he explained it well and gave me time to write everything down. Most importantly, I was relieved when he drew the sigil for me. I was never really good at drawing things that people described to me. For some reason, what they described and what I drew never came out looking the same.

Then, Gadreel hesitated, as if there was one sigil he wasn't certain about teaching me. I knew this had to be personal. When he began drawing, I wondered why this was so difficult for him, until I read the name he wrote beside it: "The Energy Focusing Sigil".

It actually sounded kind of useful, if I were an angel.

"When an angel carves this into their chest, it makes any weapon lethal and releases the energy, acting like a bomb." He said and then I felt sort of dark and heavy, like a bad feeling came over me. My stomach sort of twisted and I focused on that last word: bomb.

"This is how I sacrificed myself." He added and my heart sank. No wonder he hesitated in telling me about this sigil.

He leaned back in his chair and lifted up his shirt for me to see. The sigil was there, like an old scar. I saw an opportunity to stare at his beautifully sculpted chest, but my heart was too heavy looking at that sigil to let my hormones get the best of me.

No wonder he doesn't smile much. That sigil was always there like it was some sort of a reminder. The only thing I wondered now was if that made him feel proud to help out Castiel or sad? I wouldn't have a clue to as why he'd be sad, but looking at his face, I could tell he was.

I felt the need to say something, anything that would let him know that I supported him.

When he closed my journal, concluding his Enochian Sigil lessons, I tried to think of how I thought of him. Did I feel he was a courageous hero? Did I see him as someone who has redeemed himself? Did I see a good person with good intentions in front of me, who I believe was a good angel?

Absolutely yes.

So why couldn't I tell him that?


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

That night, I had the same dream again: Gadreel and my mother in frozen scenes that didn't have any logic to them. I tossed and turned and when I opened my eyes, I felt so frustrated that this dream stayed with me every night. What did it mean if it meant anything at all?

I was distracted from my thoughts when I heard Gadreel's mattress springs followed by low groaning sounds. When I glanced over at him, he was tossing as well. It seemed like I wasn't the only one having stupid and frustrating dreams. Only his seemed more like nightmares.

I swung my legs out of bed and walked over to the other side. His face was fixed in a frown and he gripped his pillow tightly. He was groaning and when I approached, realized he was speaking. It wasn't English, that's all I knew. When I tried to listen, the language sounded very odd. Then it hit me, he must be speaking Enochian.

I sat down slowly on his bed next to him and placed my hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently.

"Gadreel." I said softly and when he didn't respond, I spoke a little louder. When his eyes shot open, I gasped, being startled. He glanced at me oddly, and then sat up as I took my hand away, staring at me like I was the one having nightmares.

"You were speaking Enochian in your sleep." I said and he rubbed his face. "Are you okay?" I asked him and he rubbed his neck, as he looked down at his blanket. He was remembering his dream.

"It was nothing." he said and then met my eyes when he was done rubbing the back of his neck. "You should get some rest." He said and laid back down, fixing his pillow. I stood up and returned to my bed, knowing that he wasn't alright.

Why wouldn't he tell me? Was he having nightmares of his death?

I curled up in my bed, trying not to feel hurt. I had to be patient. He has to be ready and willing to tell me everything, not before.

I laid in bed, eyes wide open, deep in thought when I heard Gadreel get out of bed and walk over to the small table in the kitchenette of the motel room. He picked up his journal and began writing. As I watched him, careful not to make it apparent that I was awake, I thought to myself: finally, a reason to read his journal!

Horrible of me, I know, but I couldn't take it; Gadreel not telling me anything. It made me feel like there was distance between us, that distance being his secrets, and no matter how long we stay together, that distance would never allow us to become more than friends. I felt like those secrets kept me from really knowing him.

I wanted him to confide in me in his own time, but part of me was growing impatient. I was torn.

When he returned to bed, I fought the urge to jump out and read his journal. I doubted he'd be able to fall back asleep. I'd probably have to wait for a better time to know what was bothering him. For now, I just had to relax, push all frustrating thoughts away and allow my fatigue to lure me to sleep.

However, that was easier said than done. I was hot and sleeping with my clothes on made it uncomfortable. I took off my jeans and slipped back under the sheets wearing just my underwear. That seemed to help. I glanced over at Gadreel and wondered how he could cope with the heat. But I was too tired to stay awake and try to over think it.

The next time I woke up, the light of day was trying to seep through the curtains and when I glanced at the kitchen table, Gadreel was already dressed in new clothes and sitting there with my laptop. When he saw me sitting up, he clenched his jaw.

"I borrowed your laptop." He said and I found the obvious statement a little odd, but his tone indicated that he meant it in a sort of apologetic manner. At least, that's what I understood.

"Don't worry about it." I said, swung my legs out of bed and walked to the kitchen table to one of my bags.

I caught a glimpse of Gadreel looking at me, and then quickly tearing his gaze away from me, back at the laptop. Only then did I realize that I had forgotten that I had taken off my jeans during the night.

"Sorry." I said and quickly went back to grab my jeans. I got into the bathroom and, once I had closed the door, stood against it and smacked myself in the forehead. "What a moron." I said about myself and pulled on my jeans.

I fixed my hair as I looked at myself in the mirror. I began repeating the scene in my head. How did Gadreel feel about seeing me half naked? It was just my bare legs! It's not like I was wearing nothing but my undergarments.

Then a thought hit me: what if he's gay?

Wait, what? Did I just think that? Of course he's not gay! He was an angel. Angels aren't gay. If anything, they're probably very strongly virgin, in all sense of the word.

I had to focus before I allowed myself to walk out. When I did, Gadreel was still looking at my laptop and I did my best to act like nothing had happened.

"What you up to?" I asked him, taking the chair beside him, pretty much the same place during the hunting and Enochian Sigil lessons.

"Nothing" he replied as he closed my laptop, all without looking at me.

Yeah, it was safe to say that I couldn't take this anymore. He wasn't telling me anything and the first chance I get, I'm reading his journal. But, for the moment, I'd have to continue with my lessons.

"I was thinking of driving out somewhere far from civilization and do some training." I said and he nodded his head without looking at me. At this point, I don't think it was my bare legs that had him so disconnected. Maybe it was something about his nightmare, the one he refused to tell me.

"Alright." He said, giving a slight nod again and keeping his eyes low.

"Okay, don't get too excited now." I said, unable to keep my sarcasm to myself. I was getting frustrated and sarcasm felt like the safest way to blow off a little steam.

As I grabbed some stuff, he waited and then followed me out to my car. I knew it would be, yet again, more silence and I was beginning to think that having him around wasn't all that different than being alone. Yes, while the ghoul was thinking of eating us, I appreciated having him around. But it's fascinating just how quickly that can change when your companion is as silent as a corpse.

I was exaggerating, naturally, but I didn't know really how to feel. Do I feel angry, hurt or do I just let it go and remind myself that he's been through a lot and needs time? Probably that last one, but I've been alone for so long that I craved conversations and physical contact. And he wasn't giving either, so, of course, I was frustrated!

However, I relaxed once I was behind the wheel of my car and turned on the radio, filling the silence with music that made driving so much more fun.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Once we found a nice place that was far from the town, I parked in a large clearing and was glad to see large rocks that I could use to put our targets on. I began with small guns and showed him how to handle them. I felt like a professional, but I didn't forget all the mistakes I made in the beginning. I was sure to warn him about those.

Once Gadreel got the hang of it, we moved up to shotguns. I touched his arms and his hands, wishing I could let my hands linger or wander. Oh, if only…

I stood back and watched Gadreel and quickly noticed how fast he learnt. He was handling the shot gun well. When he stopped, I quickly rushed over to the trunk of my car and pulled out my bow and arrows. He raised an eyebrow and I glanced at him with a bright smile.

"I love archery and it's important for you to learn." I said and readjusted the targets on the rocks. Then I continued altering his arms and hands and then I tapped his thigh, which he shot me a surprised glance.

"Make your stance." I said and showed him what I meant. I stood sideways and placed my feet apart so I was standing firm, using the strength in my upper body.

Gadreel mimicked me and then I checked his arms.

"Pull back." I said and watched him. Oh, he looked like a God. I imagined him looking like Apollo and I couldn't help but smile, until I realized I forgot to tell him to let go of the arrow.

"Release." I said and heard the sound of that speeding arrow and then the noise it did hitting the target hard. I clapped my hands as he met my eyes with a slight smile. "Good job, Robin Hood." I said and his smile slowly transformed into a slight frown. Another reference he probably didn't understand.

"Shall I continue?" he asked me and I grinned.

"Go nuts." I replied and watched him. Every arrow he released was perfect, spiraling and whizzing, hitting the target perfectly. He was a natural and I enjoyed seeing him flex his muscles, even if they were covered by his shirt and his leather jacket. What I loved the most was the look on his face: he was fierce, like a warrior. Since I found him, he has never seemed more confidant and strong.

When he stopped, I helped him gather the arrows and placed it all back in the trunk of my car. He turned towards me and watched me organize my trunk.

"What next?" he asked me and I glanced up at him with a grin.

"Defensive fighting." I replied and his frown deepened. This was the part I was dying for. Finally, physical contact! Of course, it would be mostly tackling and pinning him to the ground, but physical contact nonetheless!

I closed the trunk and walked a few feet away. He followed and watched me like I was about to stab a tree like a lunatic.

"The first thing to keep in mind is to never let your opponent throw the first punch." I said and turned towards him, leaving some distance between us. "If you don't, you'll have to regain your composure and your strength and lose the chance to fight back." I added. That might be slightly exaggerated, but it was important for him to know this.

He nodded and stood firmly like he was about to get attacked.

"Now come at me and try to hit me." I said and he frowned like he was ready to scold me. "Just do it." I said and he hesitated, but did as he was told. Of course, he wasn't really trying. I ducked out of the way and threw a playful punch at him.

He turned, glancing at me and continuing to frown as I grinned.

"Again." I said and continued to block and hit playfully. Then, I grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, kicking him not too hard behind the knee, causing him to buckle and I pinned him on the ground, with my knee in the small of his back.

After a second, I released him and helped him back onto his feet. He didn't seem thrilled, but brushed it off as well as the dirt on his clothes.

"Try again." I said and then he looked up at me and sighed.

"How is this training?" he asked and I let out a small laugh.

"Hands-on learning; I'm teaching you what you should avoid doing." I replied and gestured for him to continue. He sighed again and prepared himself for another strike.

I was about to grab his arm, but he anticipated my move and swung at me at the last second, catching me off guard and slamming me against the ground where he pinned my wrist to the dirt, at the level of my shoulders.

I was stunned and impressed, but I was more overjoyed than anything; his face was inches over mine, his body so close to me that I could feel his warmth. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was worth it. He stood up and extended his hand.

I took his hand and, as he pulled me up, I couldn't help but smile.

"Let's see if you can catch this one." I said and launched myself at him, grabbing his jacket and pulling him forward as I swung to the side, but not letting him go until he was on the ground. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. I remained bent over him with a grin.

"How can I possibly defend myself?" he asked with a frown and it only encouraged my grin.

"Do the same to me, but shift so you have me pinned down." I said and laughed when he quickly took my suggestion. Yeah, I was enjoying him pinning me down more than I should have. He quickly stood up and helped me to get up.

"See?" I asked him and stood up, brushing off the dirt. When I met his eyes, he seemed slightly puzzled. "Never stop trying to gain back control." I added and smiled.

We continued this until we were getting exhausted, until I believed we tried every scenario. I enjoyed every moment, being able to touch him and feel him close to me. The best was when he grabbed me from behind, where I showed him who to control the situation if he were me. I never wanted it to end. The next best thing was, at some points, he'd even let out a small laugh and his smiles were growing. It made me feel like someday, I'll see the full extent of his smile.

When we just stood there, taking a moment to breathe, I glanced up at him and gave a weak smile.

"Shall we call it a day?" I asked as I approached him and used some of my remaining energy to tap him on the shoulder. I walked towards my car and he followed me shortly after. Then we drove back to the motel.

On our way there, Gadreel startled me.

"Stop the car!" he said harshly and when I pulled over to the right side, between parked cars, I followed his gaze and looked far back down the sidewalk in front of the town's little stores. It was a large group of people, about a dozen, following a woman.

Gadreel quickly stepped out of the car without a word and began walking towards the group.

I cursed, shut off the ignition and quickly got out to catch up with him.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I had to jog and when I caught up, everyone stopped and stared at Gadreel, but continued walking, brushing hard against him, leaving their leader, the woman, standing there looking at Gadreel. She seemed confused. Apparently, Gadreel knew her, but it seemed she didn't know him. Well, sort of, but didn't associate much importance to him. She stared at him like that for a few seconds, but began walking around him.

I had to struggle to get past the group and then I heard Gadreel say a name.

"Hannah." He said and she stopped, turned and stared at him, confused. "It's Gadreel." He added and she stared at him like she didn't quite believe him.

"It cannot be." She replied and approached him. "I was there when you died." She added and I just watched the two of them, feeling like an outsider that had been forgotten. "How is this possible?" she asked him and then stared at him like he was an alien. "You're human." She said like it was the strangest discovery she has ever made. I rolled my eyes. I didn't like this Hannah, whoever the Hell she was.

"Yes." He replied and paused. "I'm not certain how." He added and they just stared at each other, as if stunned. At this point, I began thinking that being strongly silent was an angel thing, not so much a Gadreel thing.

I walked up to them and stood beside Gadreel. That's when she looked at me. Gadreel followed her gaze, as if he didn't see me, and quickly looked back at Hannah.

"This is Anne Cromwell." He said. "She's a hunter." He added and Hannah just looked at me, as if she didn't know what to think. Either that, or she didn't care.

"Yeah, nice to meet you too." I said sarcastically and approached Gadreel, standing so closely next to him. It seemed like she noticed that and then looked at Gadreel. However, she didn't react.

"Metatron has been locked in the prison." She said and Gadreel nodded. "Castiel is losing the grace he borrowed and we're trying to undo Metatron's spell." She added, practically no emotion in her voice. "Unfortunately, the Angel Tablet has been broken."

Gadreel frowned and stiffened as he listened to this.

"Is there not anything else?" Gadreel asked and she sort of frowned.

"This isn't your concern anymore, Gadreel." She said and at that point, I got offended. How dare she say that to Gadreel? He was a former angel. Regardless of his current state, Heaven was his home. How could it not still be his concern?

Hannah turned and walked away and Gadreel didn't try running after her. He just watched her walk away then turned the corner of the side street. He looked offended and hurt. I turned towards Gadreel and watched him. He lowered his eyes and looked down at the ground, making his lips look pouty as he clenched his jaw.

"Screw her." I said and he met my eyes with a hard frown, as if he was ready to scold me again. "If there's a way to break Metatron's spell, you're looking at your spell expert." I said and then paused. "Well, give or take the term expert." I added and shifted onto my other foot. "Well, I'm a Wiccan, so I'm no stranger to spells." I corrected myself, being more modest.

Gadreel just kept staring at me, but straightened and turned to face me. His eyes were so hard that it was difficult to read him. The only thing I was thinking was: _Damn, he's smoking hot._

"You'll help me." he said, as if he hoped for it, but needed me to confirm it. I smiled at him and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Need you ask?" I replied and when he gave a small smile, I walked back to my car. I thought about asking him about the Angel Tablet and Metatron's spell. I was certain that he'd tell me. Looking at him, he seemed deep in thought. Maybe it could wait.

Once we got buckled in, I drove straight to the motel room.

When we walked through the door, I tried to gather some courage to ask about Metatron's spell and the Angel Tablet, but I quickly gave up as I watched Gadreel grab some clean clothes and head into the bathroom. I guess that after rolling in dirt and sweating, it would be a good idea to get cleaned up.

When I heard him start the shower, I remembered his journal and quickly jumped at the chance. I grabbed his journal, sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and began reading.

_I have returned to life as a human and am joined by Anne Cromwell. She'll teach me to be a hunter and, in exchange, I'll teach her Enochian Sigils. Although she is intelligent, I doubt she could learn the language. Nonetheless, if she wishes, I must try. I owe her that much._

_ She saved me twice: from the road and from the ghoul. I feel like a helpless infant, if I knew exactly what that meant._

_ Then, she told me she is a Wiccan. I honestly don't know what to think, but when I look into her eyes, I know she is far from being a monster. Her faith fills her with light and hope. How could I think of her as a monster knowing what I see?_

I couldn't help but smile and blush. I never thought Gadreel would say something like that about me. It touched me and I continued to read, hoping to see more about me.

_I know Anne is someone I can trust. However, I cannot allow myself to be too close to her. If anything should happen to her, my redemption would be for nothing. She does not deserve any harm. _

_Unfortunately, my sacrifice may have been in vain. _

_I allowed Metatron to use me as an assassin only to be granted a place in Heaven as well as amnesty. I could no longer allow myself to be used, but with the damage I had caused, it is too late. However, I had hoped that helping Castiel would rectify what I had done, if it was possible. I gave my life in order to free Castiel so he could stop Metatron. And I return as a human. I feel that my act for redemption has been for nothing. Is this a punishment? Have I been accorded a human life so that I may know what I have done?_

_ I cannot shake this feeling. However, Anne is kind and I feel that our encounter is far from a coincidence._

I was so happy to read that last part! It confirmed what I felt and I wanted to jump around and dance like a nut; I was so happy. But I had to continue reading before Gadreel stopped the shower.

I skipped through our exchange of knowledge and continued reading.

_After I taught Anne the Enochian Sigils and showed her the revolting scar on my chest, I had horrid dreams. The last words I spoke before my death still echo in my mind: "I sat in these halls for thousands of years thinking of nothing but redemption, as a nobody. But not anymore. We will no longer let ourselves be blinded by arrogance. Our mission was to help and protect those who could not and would not protect themselves: the humans"._

_ Why do those words ring in my ears? Why did I dream of Metatron, Hannah, Castiel, Kevin, Thaddeus and Abner? Why do I dream of the insults that Metatron, Crowley and Gabriel have thrown at me behind my back?_

_ These questions lead me to believe that my new human life is a punishment. I caused the fall of Eden, I was the reason God abandoned us all and has never returned. He is ashamed of my actions and, although I thought I had finally redeemed myself, it is not enough to bring Him back to us._

_ No amount of times that Anne saves me will ever save me from what I've done; from the punishments that will become my life. I am a failure, a worthless rodent; I do not deserve to ever hope for the return of my grace. I wonder why Anne is so caring. It's her nature, I know, but I feel like I don't deserve her. She deserves a better companion._

I couldn't help but feel like my heart was breaking. I couldn't fight the tears forming in my eyes. It explained so much and if only I knew he was hurting so much, I could have done something. But I still can.

"Anne?" said that familiar voice and it hit me so hard that I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes tightly, as if bracing for something.

Son of a bitch; I've been caught.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

I slowly turned my head and looked up at Gadreel who stood closely behind me, staring down at me. I quickly noticed that he wasn't frowning at me like he was about to scold me; he was staring at me with what seemed like sadness. I just didn't know if it's because he feels betrayed in some way or because he saw the tears in my eyes.

He looked at his journal that was in my hands and looked back at me.

"Those are personal thoughts." He said and I knew he felt betrayed. I couldn't stop the tears from forming and falling down my cheeks. I still felt like my heart was breaking and now burning.

"I'm sorry." I said and struggled to say more, but I let my heart lead the way; to tell him what needed to be said. "I worry about you. I know it's not an excuse to read your journal, but you never talk and I can't help you like I want to if you don't let me in." I added and that hint of sadness on his face seemed to change to remorse.

He lowered his eyes and sat in the chair next to me and didn't look up at me.

I can do this. I can tell him what I think, feel and believe.

I stared at him and took a deep breath to compose myself before I told him what I desperately needed to say.

"I don't believe this." I said and, as he lifted his eyes to meet mine, I lifted up his journal and set it down on the table. "I don't believe that whatever brought you back to life would do it only to torment you again." I said and he dropped his eyes. Looking at him, I felt like I was the mother scolding the child. It wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I was just getting started. I was going to show him just how much I cared about him.

"I don't believe your new life as a human is only to condemn you again. I believe it's the second chance you deserved, that you should have gotten instead of being unfairly punished for so long.

"Don't you remember what I said? Sacrifice is redemption. That can never be forgotten." At that point, my voice began to quiver and I knew that I was getting really emotional. He lifted his eyes up to me and seemed as sad as I felt.

"It's not fair that you've been slandered by everyone, but the worst person doing it is yourself, Gadreel." I said and was surprised that he locked his eyes with mine. It wasn't just guilt in his eyes, but a hunger to hear words that would set him free. "You have to forgive yourself. I know it's hard, but I have faith in you." I said and at that moment, his eyes dropped and after a couple of seconds, a single tear fell down his cheek. He wanted to hide it from me, but couldn't.

I paused, but only to calm myself so my words would echo strongly and, maybe, chase away every word that haunted him.

"I forgive you." I said and he looked up at me, more tears forming in his beautiful eyes. "With everything that's happened, I don't believe was entirely your fault. Everyone deserves to be forgiven and to hope for better." I said and another tear fell down his cheek. "Do you understand? Forgive yourself and move on with me." I said and gave him a small smile, even though I felt like crying.

"Wiccans live in the 'now' and we look toward the future. The past is the past. Yours is consuming you and I know you don't deserve to be tortured again and again for the same thing. I forgive you and I have faith in you and I'm asking that you look toward the future with me." I said and I felt my smile weaken as my sadness was overwhelming me. I just repeated myself, but I felt those words were the most important for him to remember.

He nodded his head as he dropped his eyes. At that moment, I knew there was still something else I had to say. I calmed myself and took a deep breath.

"I want you to understand that you can tell me anything. I'm here to help you in any way. I want you to know that you can feel comfortable and safe with me. No matter what you're going through, I will listen wholeheartedly without judgment. And, most importantly, I will never stop thinking of you as the angel that you are." I said and felt my sadness slowly slip away as I began feeling hopeful and happy.

When he lifted his eyes up to mine, he gave me a small smile and I felt like the weight of the world had been removed, not just from my shoulders, but from both of us. I felt like the tension had evaporated and left us with a light and comfortable ambiance.

I got up and he did too, as if he knew how I wanted to conclude our moment.

I wrapped my arms around him in a hug and smiled as he embraced me quicker than he usually would. I was so happy. Maybe I finally gave him a reason to hope. Maybe I chased away the darkness that clung to him. Maybe I bought us closer together.

"Thank you, Anne." He said softly, almost like a whisper. That told me that I had accomplished my goal and our relationship was as strong as titanium.

"You're welcome, Gadreel." I replied just as softly.

Our hug lasted quite a long time and it sort of surprised me that _I_ was the one to pull away. He looked at me, his tears dry, unlike mine. I could sense that he felt better and that made me so overjoyed.

After we stared at each other, I wiped my eyes and smiled, letting out a very small laugh and grabbed my laptop.

"So, what's the Angel Tablet?" I asked him as I started my laptop, sitting in the same chair. He sat down and had on a serious expression. I just thought to myself: "Wow, why can't I shift emotional gears fast like that?"

"The Word of God written on stone. Metatron was the Scribe." He replied and I began making a web search. "Only a prophet can read it. It was shattered in Heaven and the prophet is dead." he added, voice a little grave, and I nodded.

"Metatron's spell?" I asked him as I continued my search.

"A spell to cast out all angels from Heaven. There were three trials. The first was to kill a hybrid, a Nephilim." He said and when I glanced at him he gave me a small smile. "Half angel, half human." He added and continued before my mind could form a thought on that subject. "The second was to take the bow of Cupid which is a Sigil on their palm. And the last was an angel's grace, which Metatron stole from Castiel." He concluded.

As I searched, I came up with nothing. Of course not. What did I hope to find? This was old stuff and humans didn't know shit about it. Then, an idea hit me.

"Remember when I said I'm no stranger to spells?" I asked him and when I glanced up at him, he gave a slight frown as he titled his head. "I know that with every spell, there's another to break it; to undo it. Metatron's Spell must be capable of breaking, with the right spell." I added and began searching for that. Yet again, I didn't know what I hoped to find.

"You believe there's a spell to counter his?" he asked me and I glanced up at him with a grin.

"Absolutely."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I didn't find anything, but at least we had an idea.

Before going to bed, I took a shower and Gadreel was writing in his journal. I held on to the desire to read his journal… again, but I tried to convince myself to let it go. As the water ran over me, I felt peaceful and happy. I could have stayed in the shower until there was no more hot water. But there was something even better out there, and he was writing in his journal.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, Gadreel was already in bed. But he opened his eyes and smiled at me softly.

"Good night." I said with a bright smile, grabbed my journal and a pen, and walked over to my bed.

"Good night, Anne." He replied softly and I began writing down everything that had happened. When I was done, I laid in bed for some time, just going over the things he had written in his journal. It had broken my heart and I was so glad when I had mustered the courage to tell him what I had burning inside of me.

As tired as I was, I couldn't quite sleep. I had put my journal away and when I glanced at him, he was quickly asleep. I walked over to his journal and read his last entry in the bit of light coming from across the street. I had to open the curtain a little and before I read, I glanced at Gadreel. The last thing I need is for him to catch me with his journal again.

When I glanced down, I felt my heart race with anticipation.

_For the first time in all of my existence, someone stood against the tide and spoke words I never imagined to hear. Anne has been the only one to truly see me for who I am and to forgive me. Having her forgiveness heals me more than if all of Heaven forgave me. I am glad that we were destined to find each other. I know now that perhaps I have no need to hope for my grace, for Anne is my saving grace._

That was all he wrote, but it was enough. I could have screamed out in joy. He called me his saving grace. It filled me with so much happiness, that my head felt a little light and my stomach twisted in a good way; making me feel like butterflies were swirling inside me.

I placed his journal back where I found it and slid back into my bed with a smile on my face. I was so ecstatic that it made me wish I had someone to tell. Still, I fell asleep with that smile on my lips.

Although I was happy, I bet that smile quickly vanished as I began to dream. My dreams that night were the same: Gadreel and my mother in images that didn't make much sense. This time, it felt like I was seeing more, but it still didn't make sense. I wouldn't be able to repeat everything I saw. It was confusing and aggravating. Even more so when I woke up and couldn't remember much of what I had seen.

When I sat up and looked over at Gadreel, I found him still asleep. I smiled as I swung my legs out and stretched. Then I walked around Gadreel's bed and stood there a moment, watching him sleep. He looked peaceful and I imagined he had a good night without any haunting dreams.

I turned away and grabbed my laptop, continuing my research on any type of breaking spell that could undo Metatron's spell. Of course, I came up with dead ends, no matter what I typed. It was clear that I wouldn't find anything on the Internet. Why was I so determined when it was obvious that the Internet wouldn't help? I'd have to search through old books and maybe even there I'd find nothing but dead ends.

I thought of all the people I knew and wondered if they'd know anything. They were the ones to teach me what I know; not saying they're experts, but it's worth a shot.

I grabbed my cell phone, a pad of paper and a pen, and then stepped out of the motel room so I wouldn't wake up Gadreel. If he was getting really good sleep, I didn't want to disturb that. As a hunter, good sleep is rare.

I began calling all of my contacts and some of them didn't answer after several tries. The ones that did just laughed at me and asked me if I had sniffed anything funky lately. They were no help at all and I hung up. There was only one left and I was reluctant to press the "call" button. He was an asshole of the highest proportions. I swore never to see or talk to him ever again.

However, I was doing this for Gadreel.

I pressed the button and waited, and then heard a soft groan followed by that irritating sexy voice of his.

"Well, if it isn't Little Annie." He said and I sighed.

"I told you not to call me that, Brennan." I said with a dry and harsh tone of voice. He only chuckled.

"So, missed me?" he asked me and a let out a sharp laugh.

"Not a fucking chance." I replied and he laughed even more.

"Feisty." He replied and paused. "What do you need?" he asked and I considered hanging up on him. But I reminded myself that I had to talk to this jerk for Gadreel's sake.

"Do you know anything about angels?" I asked and he laughed hard like the others did. I sighed, rolled my eyes and waited for him to stop as I leaned against the wall.

"Did you consume the worm at the bottom of the Tequila bottle?" he asked and I groaned. "Oh, Little Annie getting mad?" he asked and I just snapped.

"Listen, asshole. I told you to never call me that again and I'm asking because I'm helping someone. Now you are going to answer my fucking question or the next time you need something from me, I'll ask you the same fucking question and hang up on your ugly ass." I shouted and waited for him to reply, feeling my heart race and my cheeks burn with rage.

He remained silent for some time, and then let out a small laugh.

"Wow, that was almost adorable." He replied and I had to convince myself that I could handle this asshole. I had to calm myself or I'd hang up and risk any vital information that Brennan might have.

"Answer my fucking question." I said coldly and he sighed.

"No, I don't know anything about angels." He replied and I sighed, ready to hang up. "Hold it." he added, as if knowing I was about to end our conversation. I waited, my anger still burning. "I might not, but I know someone who might." He added and stayed silent.

"Go on." I said coldly.

"He's a professor. Well, was a professor." He replied, for the first time sounding serious. "He's in a nut house because no one believed him. If you want anything angel, he's your guy. Don't know if it's all bullshit, but you'll find out." he added, surprising me with how serious he could be when he wanted to.

"And his name and address?" I asked and then that cocky attitude returned when he let out a small laugh.

"I guess that means you owe me one." He replied and I groaned.

"Tell me his name and address and I'll think about it." I said and heard him shout like his favorite football team just scored the big one.

"Professor William Forsberg in room 503 at the Mental Institution in Boise, Idaho." He replied quickly as I wrote down everything he said on the pad of paper. "You won't have problems seeing him. He never has visitors." He added, and then paused. "So, do you owe me?" he asked me and I sighed with a grin on my lips.

"Not a fucking chance." I said and hung up before he could say anything.

I walked back into the motel and saw Gadreel stepping out of the bathroom in fresh clothes. I smiled and he gave a slight puzzled frown.

"Is everything alright?" he asked me as I closed the door behind me.

"I didn't find anything on the Internet, but a friend gave me a name and address that might just help us." I replied and showed him my piece of paper. He looked at it and then lifted his eyes up to me.

"A mental institution?" he asked and I nodded with a smile.

"We can pack, play a few games at the bar to get more money, buy some food and go to Boise, Idaho. It'll take a couple of days, at the least." I said and began packing my things. Gadreel stared at me for a few seconds, and then began helping me pack.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I did my thing at the bar to get money and was sort of surprised when Gadreel joined in. I didn't really think he could, but he found something that worked for him. While the men came mostly to me, the women totally went to him. I think Gadreel could have just stood there like a statute and the women still would have thrown money at him.

I wasn't very happy, but I knew none of those women would capture him. I was his saving grace, no one could replace me. Cocky, I know, but I just felt so great! Plus, the women seemed tipsy. Clearly, no competition there. And the good news was that we'd get more money than usual.

After a couple of hours, once my group got their egos bruised and walked away, I had to hook an arm around Gadreel and pull him away from the women. They tried to hold onto him, but unlike them, I was sober, so I didn't have to struggle.

When we got into my car and drove to the diner not too far, I gave Gadreel my share and asked him to count it. After a minute or so, he stunned me.

"Eight hundred and sixty-nine dollars." He replied. I glanced at him with a grin.

"Wow, we're an awesome team." I said and got him to smile much bigger and brighter than usual.

"The women kept asking me to take off my shirt." He replied and I laughed so hard that Gadreel had to touch the wheel a little to keep me on the street. When I had calmed down a little, and regained control over my car, he titled his head and gave me that slight frown.

"Well, drunk women and a good looking man…" I said, letting my sentence fall, as to say that he knew by experience what that meant. He seemed a little unnerved and glanced ahead at the street as I had calmed my laughter to a simple grin.

He remained silent for quite some time, and once we got to the diner and parked, he glanced at me with that frown still on his gorgeous face. I glanced at him and smiled.

"What?" I asked him and his frown slowly deepened.

"You find me handsome." he said to me, like it was a question disguised as a statement. I smiled and looked at him with soft eyes. I sort of wanted to tell him just how sexy I found him to be, but I feared destroying what we have now; fearing setting us back and getting farther away from ever being romantically involved.

What do I say; something that hints to him how I feel or something neutral? Might as well give it a shot…

"I believe the entire woman population in this world would find you handsome." I said and he continued to look at me, as if he knew I was trying to keep some distance between his question and my true answer.

I couldn't glance at him or I'd feel compelled to tell him the truth. My heart was racing and it was getting difficult to fight the urge to look at him. It was awkward just sitting in the car and then I couldn't take it anymore. I looked at him and felt my cheeks burn.

His stare was intense, but his eyes were soft at the same time. How could I lie to him?

"Yes, Gadreel." I replied and he gave a slight nod.

"You find this vessel to be handsome." he said and then I knew what he meant. It made me feel a little guilty and somewhat confused. I could have cursed, but settled for clenching my teeth and making a face that would go along with the expression "fuck!"

What do I say? I don't know what angels truly looked like. If they needed vessels, are they just faceless energy? I pretty much let the only thing I could think of slip out.

"But I'm sure you were the best looking angel in Heaven." I said as my cheeks felt hotter. That sounded stupid. The corner of his lips twitched as if he wanted to smile, but had something conflicting him.

"It's not important to angels." He replied and I nodded, remaining silent. Yeah, stupid of me and now, it was getting really awkward. I was about to get out of the car when Gadreel spoke again.

"Thank you, Anne." He said softly and that made me smile as well as my face turn bright red.

We got out of the car and walked into the diner, sitting down in one of the booths, took a menu and waited for the waitress. Once he had something to eat, we'd order something to go; something for the road.

As I cautiously glanced at Gadreel, I sort of wanted him to say something about me, but he probably felt uncomfortable. It might be like seeing my bare legs all over again. As I glanced over at him, he seemed somewhat baffled. Maybe he did find me pretty, but just didn't know how to really feel about it. I had to remind myself that he's new to human life and with that comes human emotions and urges. Maybe he's having a hard time to deal with that.

Well, at least he knew that I would help him no matter what the issue. Then, it made me wonder: if he had urges around me, would he talk about it or feel ashamed? How could I tell him that it's okay to not feel that way? I can't just bring it up, especially if I'm wrong. What if he doesn't find me pretty? If I talk to him, he'll think I want him to like me and that will ruin everything.

I tried not to think of it, but looking up at him; my heart sort of sank in my chest, as if I realized nothing might ever happen between us. It was hard to not feel crushed.

Then and finally, the waitress, a plum little woman, came around with a nice smile and took our order. She called us "honey" like we were her children. I liked it, even though it made me miss my mother. She never used terms of endearment, but she was the only one I had in my life.

Now I have Gadreel. He made me feel like I didn't have to miss my mother as much. Hell, I didn't even think about her. Sounds bad, I know, but pretty boy distracted me from the Hell that was my life.

We received our order and ate in silence. Then we ordered more to go and left in silence. The air between us felt heavy, like my heart. When I walked over to the driver's side of my car, Gadreel quickly stood in front of me and grabbed the keys from my hand with a small smile. However, his eyes seemed somewhat sad. Or was that concern?

"You should take a break." He said and stood still until I mimicked his smile and walked over to the passenger side. Maybe he could sense the change in me. One minute I was smiling and laughing; the next I was silent and sad. Yeah, it seemed obvious at that moment that I had let my thoughts drank me down.

It was safe to say that I had to stop and focus. Gadreel and I didn't meet just so we could hook up. We met so I can help him. He was a misunderstood and unfairly punished angel who wanted nothing but redemption and then sacrificed himself for it. Then he opens his eyes and walks the Earth as a man; still looking for redemption. If I truly cared about him, I wouldn't be thinking of being with him; I'd be thinking of helping him at any cost.

I sat in the passenger seat and when we glanced at each other, I tried to change the way my heart was feeling. I looked deep into those eyes and tried to see the angel within. Even though it was hard to feel better, I smiled.

"What are you waiting for?" I asked him and his smile widened. "Hit the road." I added as he started the ignition. He backed up the car and drove off, checking the map once in a while. The music played softly and I rested in my seat, closing my eyes.

As I drifted away, I thought about the stupidest thing ever: how it was funny that Gadreel never complained about my choice of music or how loud I would have it.


	19. Chapter 19

Just wanted to thank you for leaving reviews; my creativity for this story slowed and, not that I was giving up on finishing this story, but I haven't really gone far. Reviews are always a great motivation and thanks!

Chapter 19

I had the same stupid dream. It was starting to piss me off and when I was shaken awake, I sat up and glanced around. I was in the passenger seat of my car and it was dark outside. Then I remembered where we were going: Idaho. I glanced over at Gadreel who stared at me with concern.

"Are you alright?" he asked me and I rubbed my face and thought of my response. He woke me up for a reason. He knew I dreamt of something disturbing and he was worried. Why shouldn't I tell him?

"Not really." I replied and relaxed in my seat. He glanced at the road and then back at me, still worried. "I keep having the same dream every night." I added and his frown deepened. "It's you and my mother, but it's like images that aren't in a logical order." I concluded and he remained silent for a minute or so.

"When did you start having this dream?" he asked me, his voice harsh, but worried.

"Since I met you." I replied and he remained eerily silent. "What?" I asked him as I watched him closely. His jaw was clenched and his lips were firm in the pouty expression again. Clearly, something was wrong. "Gadreel?" I asked, letting a bit of worry seep into my voice.

He glanced at me and tightened his grip on my steering wheel.

"I'm not sure, but it doesn't sound normal." He added and I kept staring at him, my left eyebrow slowly arching up.

"Well, now that you put it that way, I'm worried now." I said sarcastically and he glanced at me with that deep frown as if he either didn't understand sarcasm or didn't appreciate it. "Let's just focus on the Professor." I added and curled back up in my seat. I didn't really feel tired, but I thought maybe Gadreel was. "I can drive." I said and when I looked over at him, he said nothing and didn't change his facial expression.

Alright, apparently I'm not driving anytime soon.

The drive was silent, except for the radio, and when the sun began to rise above the horizon behind us. Only then did Gadreel start to look tired: yawning, rubbing his eyes and looking drained.

"Alright, pull over." I said and when he did, he quickly fell asleep in the passenger seat. I have no idea why he waited so long to switch. I insisted earlier, why didn't he just listen to me? I kept thinking about it as I drove down the road, but couldn't come to any conclusions. When I wasn't doing that, I thought about other things, I ate some of our food, I sang softly to my favorite songs and almost turned down the wrong road that would have taken me away from Idaho.

When we arrived in the town a couple of hours later, I was getting excited and hopeful. I prayed that this Professor had some helpful information. Then, half an hour later, I pulled into the driveway of the institution and looked up at the large and majestic building.

When I stopped the car, I glanced over at Gadreel and did the math. He had less sleep than I did. I didn't want to wake him up, but I had to. I tenderly shook him and when he stirred, I turned the ignition off.

"We're here." I said and got out of the car. A few seconds later, he got out too, looking like shit. Poor guy was tired. He looked up at the building and I walked around my car, over to his side. "Ready?" I asked him and when we glanced at each other, he walked up to the front door first, opening it for me. I really liked that part.

Once we got in, the woman at the front desk lifted her eyes up to us with a blank expression, like we were interrupting her.

"Got an appointment?" she asked, coldly.

"No, it was sort of a short notice." I replied and she didn't look impressed. "I'm here to see William Forsberg." I added and she just kept staring at me like that. "I'm his niece and, this is embarrassing, but our family was ashamed and I only found out about him due to research on my family tree."

She didn't blink, but looked at Gadreel, as if it was his turn to receive her stares.

"This is my cousin." I replied. I thought about saying he was my boyfriend, but he'd probably react and that would ruin it. I couldn't have him looking surprised.

The woman just stared, but picked up the phone and asked someone if we had permission. She remained silent for quite some time and then looked up at us, then hung up.

"Once on the fifth floor, someone will meet you." She said and returned to her computer.

"Thanks." I said, more or less sarcastically, and walked up to the elevator. I pressed a button and when the doors opened, Gadreel let me step in first, and then followed. When the elevator began to move, I clung to the bar and clenched my teeth. Gadreel stared at me and when the doors opened, watched as I stepped over the crack between the floor and the elevator rather than on it. It wasn't just that, it was the way I did it; stepping over it like it was boiling lava.

However, he said nothing.

Indeed, someone was there and began walking away, leading us to his room.

"You don't like elevators." He whispered to me and I grinned. So he waited until we were away from the elevator, as if his comment wouldn't hurt its feelings.

"Hate them." I corrected. He remained silent and I maintained my grin.

When we got to room 503, the nurse opened the door and let us in, closing it and locking it behind us, and then she walked away.

Great staff. I can feel their passion for their jobs.

There was a man sitting at a desk in front of the only window in the room and he slowly turned to look at us. He seemed confused and lost. It was awkward. I felt like banging on the door, begging to be released. I was too young to fly over the cuckoo's nest!

Still, I brushed it off and gave a soft smile.

"Hello, Professor." I said and he stared at me, like he was trying to figure out if he knew me. "Do you know anything about angels?" I asked him and say a spark in his eyes. He stood up straight and smiled, looking intelligent.

"The celestial beings of the vast skies." He said and gestured for us to sit down on his bed. As I sat down, I was surprised how close Gadreel was sitting next to me. Was this his way of protecting me or was he just as freaked out as I was?

The Professor stood, one hand behind his back, as if he was ready to give a lecture. Oh, lucky us.

"They rarely grace us with their presence and when they do, I'll have you know that they leave destruction in their path." He said and when I glanced over at Gadreel, there was sadness in his face. He strongly believed that angels were supposed to help the humans and it seemed the angels were doing the opposite. When I was a little girl, I believed angels were good and caring. I guess this is a punch to both our stomachs.

"You two." He said, pointing at us and staring intensely. Then, his eyes seemed to go almost empty. "Give it back. Regain what was used. Find pure grace. First. When there is a way to be broken. Destruction befalls." He said, each sentence being said with a slight pause in between. Then he remained silent and looked at us, as if we were supposed to know what that meant.

I was still stuck on "give it back". I had no idea what he thought we had. Then he grabbed his ear, returning to that confused and lost state of mind, and then pointed to his small mirror on this desk. I glanced at Gadreel and he seemed just as puzzled as I was. Then the professor sat down and continued doing whatever it was he was doing. I stood up and stood closer to him, looking down at his doodles.

"Do you know of a spell that can open Heaven?" I asked him and he stopped doodling and looked up at me. There was a sort of wild look in his eyes and I stepped back a little as Gadreel stood very close to me, as if ready to protect me.

Then he looked up at Gadreel and just stared at him, as if trying to figure out if he knew him.

"Professor?" I asked and then he looked back at me. "A spell had been cast and angels were thrown out of Heaven. Is there a way to undo that?" I asked and watched to see if he would answer me.

"My secretary has my office hours. If you need an appointment, go see her." He said and then returned to his doodles. I ignored his delusional answer looked at them and they were all angel themed. Gadreel looked at them too and when I glanced up at him, he was frowning.

"What is it?" I asked him and looked at me, slightly worried.

"Some of those drawings are Enochian letters." He said and looked back at the doodles. "There's nothing logical here." He said and the Professor turned and looked at him, clearly unimpressed.

"I don't accept such language in my classroom! Get out!" he said and Gadreel looked a little stunned. However, the man didn't seem like he was about to explode.

"Sorry." He said and the Professor returned to his doodles. When I glanced at Gadreel, his expression told me it was true. I wondered how a man like the professor knew Enochian, especially if it was a difficult language for humans to understand.

I thought about what the professor had said; that he said that he told us the answer. However, all he said was random sentences. He pointed to his mirror. Nothing important… until… I thought like someone who lost their mind.

I thought back to what he told us and tried to make sense of it. Cut out what wasn't important and what he seemed to find significant, I repeated over and over. I took what he gave us, especially his direction to the mirror on his desk, and thought literal. Sentences. Mirror.


	20. Chapter 20

Before I continue, this whole scene with the Professor was totally inspired by the genius of 29-pieces-of-me's poem "Backwards" (which you should read… like asap). I would have said this in the previous chapter, but it all makes sense here, so I kept this bit for this chapter. And, thanks guest for your review. Xoxo Thank you!

Chapter 20

I grabbed a piece of paper from the Professor's desk with a pencil and asked him to repeat what he told us. When he did, after several tries, I wrote it all down in a column rather than all in one line. Then, I thought of the mirror. When I looked at the sentences in the mirror, it didn't make sense. Was I expecting to see some hidden message in the letters? Maybe it was a little simpler than I thought. Why did he point out the mirror?

"I see nothing." Gadreel said behind me, frowning at the mirror. We both saw nothing, but I had to try.

"Mirrors reflect, but when they do, it's backwards." I said, trying to justify my first idea, and then, slowly, like a light bulb gradually going on, stared at Gadreel through the mirror as if a ghost had just appeared behind us.

"What?" he asked me, and then he lost his frown. "Backwards." He said and then I turned to look at him and we both looked at the paper. We both knew what he had to do. The Professor didn't point at the mirror as an instruction to use it; it was a clue. Together, we read.

"Destruction befalls. When there is a way to be broken. First. Find pure grace. Regain what was used. Give it back."

We thought about it, but just stared at each other totally stunned. I looked at the Professor who stared at us with a large smile on his face. I couldn't believe it. It sounded a little like what Metatron had done, but he intended for us to reverse the message and that was our answer. How could he possibly know this and be insane at the same time? Was he speaking the truth? If we do this, will it really work?

"That's our counter spell: return what was taken for the original spell." Gadreel said and the Professor slowly returned to his doodles with a smile on his face.

I turned to Gadreel and couldn't help but smile too. We had our spell.

"Maybe the angels will come and visit." The man said as he doodled, turning that sentence into some sort of song. I glanced over my shoulder at him and maintained my smile. "And God will return to end our childish games." He added and then Gadreel's happy and shocked expression darkened.

I turned completely to the Professor and placed a hand on his shoulder. He stopped singing and doodling, not looking up at me.

"Thank you." I said, folded the paper and placed it in my back pocket and stood at the door where we were let out after a few seconds. We walked out of the institution and once we got to the car, I glanced at Gadreel to make sure that he was okay. He seemed deep in thought and once we got inside, leaving the grounds, he sighed.

"Even if we have our spell, the road ahead is much more difficult." He said and I thought of the sentence after the destruction and breaking part. The first thing we need to do is find pure grace. I glanced at Gadreel and smiled.

"We take it step by step." I replied and when he saw my smile, he frowned, baffled. "We start by finding your grace." I added and his frown deepened as if I was the one that lost her mind.

"It was taken and it may never be returned." He said, slightly harsh. Still, I maintained my smile and looked at the road ahead of us.

"He said pure grace and he also said that angels don't help humans like they should; you believed they should have." I said and then he looked out the passenger window with that pouty look on his face. He remained silent for some time and when I had found a motel, I parked the car, turned off the ignition and we sat there in silence.

"My grace isn't pure." He finally said, but his voice was sad and hurt. "Pure grace is untainted. It does not smite, leaving nothing but bloodshed. It does no wrong." He added and then I wondered what he was saying, until I remembered what he wrote in his journal. He said that Metatron used him like an assassin.

"I don't think it's the grace that makes the angel." I said and when he slowly met my eyes, I gave him a soft smile. "When I think of a good person, I think of what makes them that way, according to me. I always believe that a good person is so because they have a good heart." I said and when his expression didn't change, I gave him my brightest smile. "You have a pure heart, Gadreel. A pure heart is pure grace." I added and I thought that maybe he'd smile, but he didn't.

"I killed the angel that tortured me, killed my old friend and the only prophet all because I thought of myself above all others." He said and his expression, both in his face and his eyes, became intense. Part of me felt that what I had said to him, after he caught me with his journal, sort of went in one ear and out the other. So, I decided to remind him.

"Sacrifice is redemption." I said in the smoothest voice I have ever used. He seemed somewhat stunned and he just stared at me. "Believe me Gadreel, it's your grace we need and yours we'll find." I said and got out of my car. I think he doubted that, but he didn't argue.

Once we paid for a motel room, we got all our stuff in and I quickly gathered some things to perform a spell to locate his grace. I wasn't certain if it would work, but I was willing to try. Gadreel watched as I pulled out my map, my pendulum, some candles and two little figurines, a woman and a deer, which symbolized the Goddess and the God.

I had placed it all on the kitchen table, but gathered other objects such as salt, water, matches and a stone and placed them around a pentacle necklace I had pulled out of my wallet.

When I glanced at Gadreel, he seemed a little puzzled, but not as much as I expected.

"I'm setting up an altar." I said and he simply looked at me, expression blank. "Then I'll use a finding spell and hope that the pendulum shows where to find your grace." I added and prepared my altar until I was satisfied. When I was done, I lit the candles and prayed for guidance.

I set the pendulum straight above the map and concentrated.

"Bound and bind, bind and bound. What is lost will now be found." Was all I said as I could feel the pendulum slowly beginning to move until it was spinning. I tried not to have an influence on it and didn't stop until it sort of fell on the table. When I looked at the map, I was genuinely stunned.

The pendulum was on Boise, Idaho. We were in Boise, Idaho at the moment.

I glanced at Gadreel and he seemed as confused as me.

"Hold on." I said and walked out of the motel room. I rang the bell and when the manager popped up, looking as disgusting as he did moments ago, I asked him for a map of Idaho. After a few minutes, he returned with one and told me that if I damage it, I have to buy a new one.

Unlikely, unless I use a finding spell that includes fire.

I returned to the room and did the spell over again and still, the pendulum fell on Boise, Idaho. At that point, I began thinking that Gadreel's grace really had to be around us. Hell, maybe he never lost it.

I decided to do something different.

I grabbed a pen, set it on the table and said a small improvised prayer.

"I pray to the God and the Goddess to help find his grace. Please, point the pen in the direction of its place. By the powers of three times three, as I will it so mote it be." I said and spun the pen and watched as it spun.

When it slowed and it's tip eventually stopped and faced me, I was confused. I glanced behind me and saw the television. Could such appliances have affects on this? That sounded stupid. This was my crazy life; not the Twilight Zone. Mind you, the two aren't so different…

"Anne." Gadreel said and when I met his eyes, he stared at me like there was a monster behind me. Instinctively, I glanced behind me and saw the fridge. I looked back at him, puzzled beyond belief.

"What?" I asked him.

"It's you, Anne." He said and I stared at him for several seconds and looked back at the pen, still pointing at me.

I looked back at him and couldn't believe it. It didn't make sense. There had to have been something that I did wrong. Maybe my altar wasn't set up right… but I knew that wasn't it. My mind began going over everything, when Gadreel made it screech to a stop.

"It's you." He said softly and then repeated it with what sounded like conviction. "It's you, Anne; my saving grace." He said, using the same words he wrote in his journal, as if hinting at the irony that I was failing to see, or believe.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I did the spell over and over and the result was always the same. I had to believe that Gadreel's grace was indeed me, if that made sense. I had to let it sink in and then I looked at Gadreel, totally flabbergasted.

"If that's true, wouldn't you know it?" I asked him and he looked at me with what looked like a hint of sadness, but also seemed like sympathy.

"Not unless it was concealed." He replied and then I was baffled all over again.

He approached me and hesitantly placed his hands on my shoulders and started right into my eyes. For the moment, I felt like I was captivated. His green eyes just felt like a scenic view to get lost in.

"We must seek someone to help." He said softly, but there was something in his eyes. Was he happy? It was hard to tell. "A medium, perhaps." He added and then, when he pulled back, I nodded my head and grabbed my phone. I couldn't shake off that look in Gadreel's eyes.

It was as if my mind was on autopilot as I dialed the numbers of one of my acquaintances who was friends with a psychic. I waited and when they answered the phone, it sort of snapped me of out it and helped me to focus.

"Hey Max." I said and he was silent for some time.

"Anne, I'm a little busy." He said and I arched an eyebrow.

"Like 'hunting' busy or 'banging another hooker' busy?" I asked him and he let out a small laugh, which made me grin. Max wasn't like Brennan. He was reserved, but just don't piss him off. I saw someone do it once and that guy lost a few teeth.

"Hunting." He replied. "Just doing some research." He added and I smiled.

"I just called for that psychic's number, if that's okay." I said and I heard him typing away at a computer.

"Yeah, I'll hang up and text it to you." He said and, without warning, hung up. Okay, apparently the guy couldn't multitask. A few seconds later, I received a text message from Max with the number, an address and her name: Roxanne.

"Got it." I said and saved it in my contacts, then called her. I waited a few seconds and she answered, sounding nice and giddy like she was about to break into song.

"Hello."

"I'm a friend of Max Boyden." I said and she sort of hummed.

"Haven't heard from the little bugger in a long time." she said and sort of sighed, but in a giddy sort of way. I didn't know if she was charming or annoying. "What can I do for you, doll?" she asked me.

"I was wondering if I could see you. I need your help." I said and she was silent for some time, but I could hear slight noises in the background.

"Where exactly are you?" she asked me.

"Boise, Idaho." I replied and she sighed happily.

"That's not too far. About a day or so." She said and there was more noise. "I trust that Max gave you my address?" she asked and I confirmed it. "Alright, see you soon, Anne." She said and hung up. I remained still, stunned by something. It hit me at that moment that I never told her my name. How the Hell did she know my name?

Psychics: life's pleasant little mysteries.

I put my phone on the table and glanced at Gadreel who stared at me with a small smile.

"What would you like to do?" he asked me and I thought of so many things, mainly about him and a bed…, but I brushed it off.

"No use wasting money on this room. We drive over, do whatever, and come back" I replied and he nodded. I still couldn't get passed the idea that I had his grace. As I began gathering my things to put them all back into my bags, Gadreel was bringing everything out to my car. I couldn't help but wonder if this is why we were meant to meet each other; because I had his grace, somehow. Once he got it back, what would happen?

I didn't want to think of it, but my mind wasn't listening to my heart.

He'd be an angel again. We'd find everything to break Metatron's spell and then he'd be free to return to Heaven as a hero. Did I want that for him? Yes, but I would be back to being lonely. How dreadful.

Once I was finished, Gadreel took my bags and offered to drive. That snapped me out of my thoughts and brought my attention up to his beautiful face.

"You need more sleep." I said and he gave me a soft smile. "Have you forgotten that you're still human?" I asked and then he smiled brilliantly and it sort of stunned me into silence.

"No, I haven't, Anne." He replied and walked out to the car when I followed shortly after. I don't know why we were leaving so soon, but I guess we were both eager to solve this. And for Gadreel, I know he probably wanted his grace back in the worst way. Honestly, I wanted to give it to him. if it was in me… please, someone take it out!

We ate a little in the car and then Gadreel relaxed in the passenger seat and fell asleep. I had to tell myself that helping him was more important than my desire to be with him. Difficult, but necessary.

I did my best to keep on the right road and changed radio channels whenever the songs turned to shit. I would glance at Gadreel once in a while and fight the urge to stroke his sandy blond hair.

Yeah, I was attracted to him, but at this point, I think it's safe to say it was becoming more than that. However, I couldn't admit anything to myself or I would enable Hell to break loose within me. I've done it before.

Derek Jackson back in high school was my crush and I was still hurt from Brett Harvey rejecting me. I didn't want to like another guy; I didn't want to be hurt again. So, my mind said: "don't go there and you won't get hurt". But Derek was just so cute! And when I admitted to myself that I liked him, that's when my heart wasted no time in doing flips around him. Did it work out? No. It never did.

So, looking at Gadreel, whatever I was feeling, I couldn't admit any of it or I'd be opening the Pandora's Box that is my heart. The best way to take my mind off of this was to focus on Roxanne and what could possibly happen.

Yeah, like Gadreel gets his grace back, breaks Metatron's spell and I never see him again. I'd be back to my lonely nights on the highway.

Okay, so my plan to avoid that dreadful thought got shot in the face. I have to think of something that won't bring me back to my feelings for Gadreel. But like what? I tried to think and everything pretty much brought me back to Gadreel.

"Damn." I whispered to myself.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

When I pulled into her driveway, the front door opened and a woman stepped out, leaning in the doorway. She smiled and waved; her energy matching her voice. Yup, that'd be Roxanne.

I glanced at Gadreel and gently tapped him on the arm until he stirred and glanced around, slowly sitting up in his seat.

"We're here." I said and got out of my car, locking the doors and waiting for Gadreel. We both walked up to her and her smile seemed like it was growing brighter.

"Hi!" she said and even pulled us each in for a hug. It was awkward, but I tried to be polite. "Come in." she said and walked in. Gadreel and I glanced at each other and he followed me in. Apparently, her giddiness had Gadreel a little taken back too.

I was expecting the typical layout of a psychic house, but it seemed normal.

We sat down in the living room and then she sat there, smiling at us, making us feel uncomfortable.

"So, what can I do for you?" she asked and I almost said something sarcastic, until I realized that I wasn't certain of what to say. I was stunned into silence and glanced at Gadreel. It seemed he was just as unsure as I was.

I glanced back at her and she just smiled, waiting patiently.

"Well," I began, getting ready to just push it all out into the open.

"I was an angel and after my death, woke up as a human." Gadreel blurted out and when I glanced at him, he seemed strong. I didn't expect that and I smiled at him, feeling sort of proud. When I glanced at Roxanne, she just nodded and listened.

"Long story short," I said and brought her attention to me. "I tried to locate his grace with a spell and no matter how often I perform it, it always pointed to me." I added and she just stared at me, narrowing her eyes slightly, as if she was looking into my soul, type of thing. It was unnerving.

The silence was a little awkward, but she nodded and looked at me seriously. I almost wanted her to be giddy instead.

"May I hold your hands for a minute?" she asked and when I nodded my approval, she pulled her chair closer to me and held my hands, starting right into my eyes. I blinked a couple of times and wondered if I should try to remain frozen. It was highly awkward now, but when she released my hands, discomfort now became slight panic.

"I can't really see and that doesn't happen often." Roxanne said to me, being completely serious. I wasn't sure what she was trying to say. "I believe something in you has been locked away." She added and I glanced at Gadreel, who stared at me with concern. I glanced back at her and she smiled softly. "I recommend hypnotizing you." She said and got up, gesturing us to follow her.

Gadreel stood up and waited for me. I looked up at him, unsure.

"It's alright, Anne." He said and once I stood up, he smiled softly. "I'll be by your side." He added and followed me. This was weird. It seemed all too fast, rushed even. I felt like I was being pushed into this, but my mind wasn't fast enough to catch up and put this all to an end.

Roxanne brought us to a small room that looked like a study with book shelves and a desk to the window, but the chaise lounge with a chair facing it in the center of the room sort of ruined it. It made me think I was entering a psychiatrist office. She gestured for me to lie down on the chaise lounge and she sat next to me in that chair while Gadreel stood off to my left, behind Roxanne, looking down at me with a soft smile.

"I heard that you can't be hypnotized if you don't want to." I said to her and she just smiled at me, like I made a joke.

"Don't worry, Anne." She said and sat back in her chair. "Close your eyes and let your mind go blank. Focus only on my voice." She added. I tried to do that, but my mind couldn't stay calm and go blank. I kept thinking about Gadreel, even if I tried not to. I felt her hand on mine and it seemed to have calmed my mind. Maybe she could feel my mind going a little crazy.

"Thanks." I said and I waited for her to continue.

"When I count down from five to one, you'll feel relaxed and you'll tenderly fall into a deep sleep." She said, her voice soft. "Five… four… three… two… one…" she said and I could feel myself falling asleep, feeling so relaxed. "Can you hear me?" she asked me.

"Yes." I replied just as softly. Everything was dark like I in that dreamless mode.

"I want you to tell me what you see." she said and I could feel an image form, then many images flashed before me. It was my dream of Gadreel and my mother.

"My dream." I replied softly.

"What is your dream about?" she asked me and I saw those images slow down so I could see Gadreel and my mother, as if I was looking at real pictures.

"I see Gadreel and my mother." I replied. "But it's just images." I added.

"I want you to push pass them like you're pushing open a door." She said and I tried, but it was hard.

"I can't." I said and I felt hands on me, but they were soft, like I was just imagining it. Was that real?

"Together, we push through." She said and at that moment, we did and it was like a blast followed by a fucking truck, hitting into me so hard that I screamed and jolted upwards on the chaise lounge. Along with that, it all came flooding at me like rushing water and I felt like I couldn't breathe because it was so much to take it.

I felt so cold, but the pain was so much worst that I was certain that I was now burning hot. It was all too much to take; making my wish someone would remove my brain and let me lay back down, numb and motionless.

Then it all ended so quickly and I fell back and then it all faded into darkness; darkness that was worst that the dreamless state.

I was caught between sleep and wake and I was trying to fight it, to pull myself out of it. Still, nothing was happening. I think I saw some light, like I had managed to open my eyes, but I don't remember. Other than that, I could hear people talking. It didn't really make sense at first.

"That light was your grace?" a woman asked.

"Yes." A male responded.

"Glad I closed my eyes." she said softly like she was talking to herself.

"How do we extract it without hurting her?" he asked and either there was silence or I was pulled back into the darkness. It seemed so long…

"You can't." she said. "It's embedded in her soul. You can only take it out when her body and soul are separated for a brief moment." She added and there was more silence.

"She must die?" he asked and, yet again, there was more silence.

"I'm sorry." She said softly and then, I was winning the fight between wake and sleep. When I opened my eyes and looked around, I slowly realized that I was hearing the conversation between Roxanne and Gadreel.

They quickly noticed I was awake and came closer to me, looking concerned. I had to blink several times to clear my vision.

"Are you alright?" she asked me and then I remembered it all, what came rushing to me: memories. That feeling of being hit by a truck was my memories coming back to me, and not just mine. I saw _everything_ that Gadreel ever saw and remembered.

So many of those memories were in a cell where he was alone. Then I saw the people he killed and the new faces he met; how he wasn't certain if they were friends or foes. Then I saw his death and I could _feel_ it, like I experienced it for myself.

I saw all those memories as well as my own in my mind like videos on fast forward. When they were done, it was only at that moment I realized I had been silent for several minutes. They were deeply worried now.

I couldn't help replaying my own memories and feeling horrified that it was all mixed up. On the other hand, I could tell the real memories from the fake. I wanted to cry, but I was too shocked to even let other emotions take place. I think those emotions were shocked too.

"My mother." I said and Gadreel frowned, as if he was beyond worried. "She wasn't the one that died at the hospital." I added and Roxanne seemed confused. I looked up at Gadreel, feeling all those emotions finally being allowed to hit me and it was way too much. "It was me."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Roxanne looked at me; her expression was difficult to read. I sat up and swung my legs over and Gadreel sat beside me, staring at me with confusion, frowning and making that pouting face. At that moment, I sort of admitted my feelings for him. I loved him.

I love Gadreel.

And then the memories just kept flooding over me and I had to calm my mind so I could tell them what had happened. I had to get over my own shock so they could understand. It wasn't easy because I kept going over my memories of my mother at the hospital; she was alive. She was out there, back home, still alive. All this time that I missed her and she was still alive.

Then I thought of how she missed me, how she must have been hurting after my death, how happy she'd be to see me again.

As I looked at Gadreel and Roxanne, I had to push my thoughts away and focus.

"I was the one who died at the hospital." I said and glanced at Gadreel, meeting his intense eyes. "I was her kidney donor, but I woke up, walked around and no one could see me. I stood by my mother, trying to talk to her. I did everything I could and nothing was happening, no one could see me, except a woman who called herself a reaper. She said I was dead." I said and looked at Roxanne who listened attentively.

"She told me it was important for me to follow her and when I did, someone else, a man, told me I had something important to do one day. Until then, I had to prepare myself. The woman said I wouldn't remember until the moment was right and the man tapped my head." I said and Gadreel seemed concerned. I hated that I sounded like a kindergartener, but the words just flooded out of my mouth.

"Did he say his name?" he asked me with that slight frown.

"No." I replied and then continued. Even if he did, I wouldn't be able to remember. I don,t even remember his face. "I woke up and that's when I had false memories; thinking that my mother was the one who died. Thinking that I saw the reaper _around her_; that it was _her car_ that I was driving. Then I became a hunter and a Wiccan; like I was some sort of computer program that they made. Why would they make me a Wiccan?" I asked and Gadreel looked at me softly.

"Perhaps they thought it would benefit you more than simply being a Christian." He said and I nodded. "If so, I'd say they were right." He added and I couldn't resist a slight smile. I looked at Roxanne and continued.

"I hunted for a couple of years and I remember not too long ago, that man came back to me and let this glowing liquid out of a bottle. It flowed around me like some sort of strange smoky shooting star and then he tapped my head again. That's when I was driving down the road; when I met you. None of this was a coincidence.

"But my dream, that's what it was; my memories trying to surface, your grace trying to reveal itself." I said and glanced at Gadreel who looked at Roxanne. When I glanced at her, they stared at each other intensely, at the floor or the walls, then at me. This had me worried. They were avoiding looking at me because what they knew was going to be hard to tell me.

"Now, Anne, I know this won't be easy to hear, but there's only one way for Gadreel to get back his grace." Roxanne said and I nodded my head as I kept my eyes with hers.

That's the conversation I heard.

"Yeah, I heard." I said and glanced back at Gadreel and smiled softly. His expression seemed blank, but it was all in his eyes. This pained him so much. "I said I'd help you any way that I could." I added and his face softened and paled. We just stared at each other and then he looked sad. This pained him greatly.

"I don't want to hurt you." He said and I maintained my smile as I placed a hand on his firm cheek. That seemed to surprise him, but he didn't move away nor did he press my hand harder against his cheek.

"You won't." I said softly and then smiled like I usually would. I wanted him to know that everything was going to be okay, that this wasn't a step backwards that would bring him back to that prison where he was tortured and punished, where it would strip him of his redemption.

He took my hand and held it tightly in his as we stared at each other. I could see that he'd rather remain human than let me die just so he could get his grace back. As much as it touched me, I knew this is why I was brought back to the world; I was meant to hold onto Gadreel's grace, meet him and give it to him so he could break Metatron's spell. How odd: all this time I just wanted to help him and that's been my sole purpose since my resurrection.

"I'll leave you two alone." Roxanne said and slipped out quietly as we continued to look at each other. After a couple of seconds, Gadreel broke contact and stood up and away, standing still.

"I never wanted any harm to come to you." He said softly and I considered standing up so we could look at each other, but I was looking around at the room. The minute my eyes locked on the desk, I instinctively got up and started going quietly through the drawer until I found something useful: a letter opener.

"It's alright, Gadreel." I said and turned to look at him. He still had his back to me, unsure of what to do in this predicament. However, I did. I knew just what I had to do: help him at any cost. My mind wasn't fighting my body. I was ready for this.

"I don't want this." He said and I smiled, knowing this was our final moment together and how I wouldn't have traded it for anything else. I'll always cherish our time together, even if I didn't get the ending that I wanted. It wasn't about me; it was about Gadreel.

It has always been about Gadreel.

"I know," I began as I placed the tip of the letter opener against my skin, over where my heart was beating rapidly. "But this is Fate." I said as a tear formed in my eyes.

There was one more thing I needed to say. This would make the moment perfect and I was certain that after this, if he was ever to grieve, he'd do just that rather than blame himself.

I took a deep breath to calm down my beating heart and mustered all the right emotions to deliver my last message.

"I love you." I said and I watched him turn to face me. He seemed stunned, but his expression immediately changed into one of terror and he let out a blood curdling "no", in protest. He tried to rush over to me and stop me, but I had already pulled the letter opener into me, into my heart.

The pain ripped through me and my body went limp, but Gadreel caught me in his arms before I could fall to the floor. He kept repeating the word "no" and then shouted for Roxanne. His hand stroked the side of my face and tears filled his beautiful green eyes.

"Why?" he asked me, but I only smiled.

I could feel my soul slipping away from my body; his grace slipping away from my soul. I knew he'd soon get back his grace; that my mission in my second life would be done.

Those green eyes were the last thing I saw before I stood behind him, watching this light leave my body and enter his. Then, I watched as he held my now empty body in his arms.

But besides that, something seemed wrong. Through the window, I saw many people walking around, but some looked sick. I quickly noticed that these people weren't being noticed by others. I knew they were ghosts… like me.

I walked through the wall and stood outside and down the streets, saw even more of them. Not only that, but something I thought only existed in nightmares. Some were being attacked by something. At first, it looked like a dog, but it moved so fast and it seemed transparent, that I couldn't get a good look. Then those people were dragged away while others just screamed.

"Where are you God?" someone shouted. "Why have you abandoned us? Why do you let Hell take us?" they added and all I heard were screams, echoing and getting louder to the point I had to cover my ears to endure the pain.

Then it hit me just where what was wrong. Metatron's spell cast out all the angels from Heaven, but closed the gates and was preventing all the recent human souls from entering. They were Earth bound.

**AN: Remember this last part here. It'll be important later, perhaps in another story.**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

At that moment, I felt a harsh pull and then I was looking at Gadreel's face, looking into his green eyes like I had always been staring at him. It took me a couple of seconds to focus and then I blinked several times. Gadreel looked relieved and all I did was look down at my chest.

My shirt was torn and bloodied, but my stab wound was gone. My mind couldn't catch up to what I was seeing.

Gadreel lifted me into a tight embrace and my mind was swirling, trying to understand what was going on; what had happened. I died, saw dead people and was healed, being hugged tightly. Did Gadreel bring me back?

Shit, I died twice and now, I'm on round three of life.

Gadreel's hug was tight, but it lasted forever. I rested my face in his neck and relaxed in his warmth. I don't remember ever being so comfortable in someone's arms since my mother. I wrapped my arms around him and he held me harder against him.

"Anne, I feared I wouldn't be able to resurrect you." He said and when he pulled away, his face just inches away from mine, I saw the relief in his eyes, that one last tear falling down his cheek, and that bright smile I always imagined. It was beautiful and it made me smile even though I was slightly confused.

"You healed me." I said and his smile remained. Then I thought of the last thing I told him and immediately felt embarrassed. "And ruined my exit." I added and looked away, feeling my cheeks burn. I couldn't let this be cheesy; I was so embarrassed that I just wanted to laugh it off. Only I knew that I wouldn't be able to.

I tried to squirm away from him and he let his arms go loose to free me. I think part of him wanted to keep me in his arms.

"Your exit?" he asked and then I heard a small laugh. I looked up and Roxanne was leaning in the doorway with her hands in her jean pockets.

"She meant her lovely goodbye." She said and winked at me. When she looked at Gadreel, her smile weakened and she seemed sympathetic. "I'm sorry. I saw what Anne was about to do and knew I couldn't intervene. Plus, she needed to see something." She added and looked back at me, her smile returning.

Gadreel looked at me with a slight frown and I tried to smile softly, but it felt weird. Probably looked like it.

"Metatron's spell did more than just kick out all the angels." I said and his frown deepened. "Every human that dies remains here and some were being attacked by these creatures." I added and Gadreel looked over at Roxanne who nodded. "Someone said they were being taken to Hell." I concluded and Gadreel looked back at me, looking angry and terrified at the same time. However, I knew it had nothing to do with me.

"We must leave." he said as he helped me onto my feet. For a brief moment, he held onto my hand and stared at our hands like it was something we wanted to remember. Then, he released my hand and once we got into the living room, I heard what sounded like the flapping of large wings. I thought Gadreel was just ahead of me, but he was nowhere to be seen. I turned and looked at Roxanne who only smiled, but then I heard that sound again.

I turned and saw Gadreel standing there with all the things we left at the motel room in Boise, Idaho.

"Wow." Was all I could manage to say. He walked out of the house and I followed him, my mind swirling, thinking of how amazing it must be to just fly around to different places in a mere second. I heard Roxanne wish us luck, but I didn't even turn around to wave goodbye. My mind was just too busy.

He placed our stuff in my car and got into the passenger's seat as I got behind the wheel.

"Where does your mother reside?" he asked and I just stared at him, remembering my mother, our house and all the years I lived there. I wanted to go so badly, but I knew I had to continue helping him. When I realized he was staring at me, I snapped out of my memories.

"Bismarck, North Dakota." I replied. "Why?" I asked him. He remained silent as I started my car and backed out of Roxanne's driveway.

"You should see your mother." He replied and I glanced at him, as if trying to read his expression. Something here just didn't feel right. "After all this time, she needs to know you're alright." He added and met my eyes. Any feeling I had was chased away. His eyes were so soft.

"Can't we just pop over?" I asked him, feeling like a kid that wanted to see all his tricks, and a small smile broadened on his gorgeous lips.

"It's better if we drive." He replied.

The ride was somewhat silent, but we started talking. Gadreel told me that what I had seen were called Hellhounds and they are supposed to bring to Hell the souls of those that made a deal with a crossroads demon. The fact that Hellhounds were attacking Earth bound souls was unsettling.

There was a moment where Gadreel was silent, but I thought he was thinking.

"It appears a lot has happened while I was gone." Gadreel said and when he looked at me, he could see my confusion.

"How do you know?" I asked him as I looked ahead at the road.

"Angels can hear each other, but since Heaven is closed, Metatron found a way to broadcast messages. Thus, Hannah has been broadcasting messages." He replied and remained silent for a few seconds. "Now that there's a secret way to enter Heaven, she's trying to bring all angels back.

"They are aware that the humans souls cannot enter, but they first seek a way to open Heaven." He said and glanced at me.

"Our spell." I said and he nodded. "If you can call it a spell." I added and he titled his head, but didn't ask about it. "Anything else?" I asked him and glanced at him, he was shaking his head.

"I always believed we angels were creatures of compassion. Yet, the angels think only of themselves. They seem to have forgotten their purpose, their duty." Gadreel said and I nodded in agreement. When we glanced at each other, I smiled and nodded with conviction.

"But there's you." I said and a small smile broadened on his lips. Then, his smile faded and his eyes lowered. "You okay?" I asked him and he didn't bring his eyes back up to me.

"I should not judge them. There was a time where I thought of only myself." He said and I knew he was talking about letting Metatron using him as an assassin. I didn't say anything, I just listened. "I killed the prophet Kevin, the angel that tortured me: Thaddeus and my friend who embraced human life: Abner. I did it all to receive amnesty from the angel that could never give it to me." he added and I could hear the guilt and that self-blame that I had read in his journal.

I glanced over at him and placed a hand on his arm. He met my eyes and I smiled at him.

"Don't forget everything I told you." I said softly and his lips twitched into a weak smile.

"I never will." He replied and we sort of fell back into silence, but it wasn't awkward. Mind you, I kept thinking about my mother, about telling Gadreel I loved him and that we now had to find the things used to close Heaven. Yeah, biggest things I ever faced in my life; and I had faced monsters with sharp teeth.

"Can't wait for you to meet my mother." I blurted out and Gadreel glanced at me with a soft smile. "She's going to love you." I added without thinking about it. Then my cheeks burned. Great, now he'll think that Cromwell women are crazy; loving any stranger that strolls by. However, he just gave me a small smile. He didn't say anything, especially about what I told him before I stabbed myself with a letter opener.

Honestly, I was waiting for that. Did it creep him out or flatter him? Did he see it as romantic love or simply a compassionate friendship?


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

It had taken a while, some food and sleep for me, but we finally got to my mother's house. It hadn't changed at all and it brought back so many memories. My heart was pounding in my chest as I opened the passenger door, stepping out. I just stood there and looked at the house and when Gadreel stepped up beside me, I glanced at him and smiled.

"Here we go." I said and walked up to the house. I rang the doorbell and felt so many emotions that it was overwhelming me. I honestly didn't know why. She was my mother and I missed her.

When the door opened, I held my breath, as if waiting to see how this would turn out. My mother had changed her hair a little, had also aged a little, but looked tremendously relieved.

"Anne." She said softly and threw her arms around me in a tight hug. I automatically hugged her back and a few tears fell from my eyes as she told me how she missed me and waited every day and night, never giving up hope.

When I pulled back and looked at her, it finally sunk in what she had said.

"I've been gone for a couple of years." I said and she smiled as a tear fell down her cheek.

"Come in." she said and smiled at Gadreel. We walked in and he quietly closed the door behind us. She held my hands tightly and smiled. "When I heard that you died, I didn't want to believe it. After a few days, I pulled out Ouija boards and went to psychics just to know that you were okay." She said and I was speechless, but not for long. My mind came to a screeching halt because this wasn't my mother.

"You never believed in that stuff." I said and she laughed.

"Funny what a mother will do for her baby." She said and placed a hand on my cheek. "No psychic could contact you and that's when I knew you were still alive, somewhere." She added and I was stunned. This wasn't the mother I grew up with. What the Hell had my death done to her? Oh, what kind of effect would it have on my mother if I told her that I had died a second time?

She looked at Gadreel and then I snapped out of it and turned so I could watch the both of them as I introduce them.

"Mom, this is Gadreel." I said and when she extended a hand, I specified. "He's an angel." I said and she smiled, tossing her arms around him like a handshake just wouldn't do. He seemed caught off guard, but glanced at me with a smile.

"Yes, he is." My mother said and pulled back, smiling at him. I sighed and prepared myself to convince her.

"No really," I said and she met my eyes. "He really is an angel." I added and her smiled didn't change. She looked back at Gadreel and it was really weird seeing her smile and not say anything.

"Thank you for bringing her home." She said and gestured for us to follow her. Gadreel and I stayed a few paces back and when I glanced at him, he smiled at me as if this wasn't strange to him. Well, it sure as Hell was for me.

"That's my mom." I whispered in a sort of sing-song tone of voice and his smile grew bright.

"You're a lot like her." he replied and I couldn't resist smiling like I always do.

When my mother stopped at a familiar door, I held my breath. She pushed open the door and when I peered inside, I gasped. My bedroom was exactly the way I had left it. Of course, it was cleaner, but every poster and piece of furniture was in the same spot.

"I knew you'd come back home one day." My mother said as she watched my reaction. "I continued putting money into your bank account and even celebrated your birthdays." She added and those tears started forming again in our eyes.

We hugged again and when I glanced at Gadreel, he only smiled as if this was the most beautiful thing he's seen in a long time. Honestly, other than his gorgeous face, it was the same for me. My mother never stopped hoping that I'd be alive. I never thought she would. I expected to walk up to the door and have her freak out, not act like I just came home from University for the weekend.

"How much do I have in my bank account?" I asked her and she smiled at me and sighed like she always did when I was being a smartass.

"About ten thousand." She said and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Why don't we talk about what happened these last couple of years." She said and I knew she wanted to hear it, wanted to know what I was doing. She wanted some answers and I gladly wanted to tell her.

We walked into the living and sat down. I glanced up at Gadreel who didn't sit down yet and I caught a glimpse of it again; where I sensed something wasn't right.

"Hold on, Mom." I said before I began telling her what I was up to. "Gadreel, what is it?" I asked him and his smile faded and a slight frown began to form.

"I suggested you come here so that I may go to Heaven and break Metatron's spell." He said and I instinctively stood up. We stared at each other and I tried to talk, but my mind was back to feeling like a tornado. However, I managed to find the right words.

"We're in this together." I said and he gave me a soft smile.

"Yes Anne. I couldn't have done it without you." He said with sincerity. "But I cannot take you with me." he added and then I couldn't find any words to put into logical sentences. "I'll carry out our spell and I'll see you whenever I have found one of the trial items." He said and all I could feel was this heaviness. He'd be gone, only dropping by for a short visit. Then what? Gone for good?

I looked up at him and I could feel that my feeling was showing in my eyes. His smile sort of fell and he looked at me as if this pained him as much as it did me. But then I remembered what I was supposed to do, why I was resurrected in the first place: to help him.

So I gave him a small smile and rushed into him, wrapping my arms around him.

"This is not goodbye." Gadreel said softly and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. When I pulled back and looked into his beautiful green eyes, I nodded and smiled.

"I know." I replied and when he smiled softly, I flashed him my usual smile. "Go show them what a real angel looks like." I said and he smiled like he was about to laugh. Then he just stood there, staring at me as if he had something he wanted to say, but then vanished like he was never there. All I heard was the sound of large flapping wings.

When I turned a couple of seconds later, my mother was staring at me with a grin.

"What?" I asked her and she smiled, tapping the cushion beside her on the couch. "What?" I asked her again and she gave me the happier version of "don't make me say it twice".

As I sat down, she patted my hand and sighed.

"Young love." She said and I let out a sharp laugh which made her sort of glare at me.

"Mom, he's _way _older than me!" I replied and she waved it off as if she didn't care. Heck, not even I cared, but he was an angel and I a human. How could we be together? I was correct, right from the beginning. We may never be together…

"Now, tell me, what happened?" she asked and I looked at her with an arched eyebrow.

"You sure you're gonna believe me?" I asked her and she shot me another odd glare.

"I'm no longer the skeptic I once was." She replied and I hesitated, but began telling her everything.

She listened attentively as I told her about having false memories, about how I began hunting monsters and no, they were nothing like Hollywood said they were. I told her I was a Wiccan, which took her by surprise, but she didn't seem offended. That was the thing I worried about the most. I then told her about meeting Gadreel and what we were doing.

I explained _everything _and when I was done, she smiled and wrapped an arm around me in a half hug. An hour and a half had passed and we now sat in a happy type of silence.

"You still a virgin?" she asked me and I pulled away from her, looking at her in shock.

"Mom!" I said and she laughed just the way I remembered. It was nice and it brought me back to my childhood.

"I'll take that as a yes." She said and pulled me back in.

I couldn't really blame her for questioning it. I was spending nights in a motel room with a very gorgeous former angel and I was highly attracted to him. If given the chance, I would have lost my virginity to Gadreel long ago.

My mother held me tight and spoke softly.

"You're a smart, tough girl. I never worried because I knew you could take care of yourself." She added and I rested against her. My shock was fading as what she said had sunk in. I smiled and got comfortable with my head on her shoulder, thinking that my mother was proud of everything I had done and believed all along that I could do it.

"He likes you too, you know." She said and when I glanced up at her, she smiled. "I can tell just by the way he looks at you." She added and I thought of refuting her statement, but it sounded so nice that I just smiled and hoped that she was right.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

During the first night back home, I never felt so lonely in my life. And that's counting all those nights driving down the road to my next hunt. I was so used to having Gadreel sleeping not too far from me. Now, he was somewhere in Heaven and I was in my room, alone. I tried everything to fall asleep, like listening to my iPod, take some sleeping pills, even read a book.

Nothing worked. I missed him already.

My mother would check up on me, as if she couldn't sleep either. Eventually, we both said "fuck it" and stayed up, watching movies. I did manage to fall asleep and I think my mother did too, but when I woke up, I still missed Gadreel. It was great to be back with my mother, but I had been through so much with him and now he was gone. I knew I'd see him again, but when was the question.

My mother knew I was missing him and tried everything to make me smile and laugh. When she wasn't doing that, she was washing my clothes as well as those that belonged to Gadreel. Doing her motherly duties even if I said it wasn't necessary.

However, days turned into weeks and Gadreel never came back. At that point, I knew she would try to comfort me. When my mother made me a cup of coffee and sat down beside me as I watched television, I envisioned her telling me to not give up hope.

"Maybe you should try to keep busy." She said and when I looked at her, she smiled softly. "Why not go back hunting?" she asked me and I arched my eyebrows.

"You'd let me go hunt after being gone for couple a years?" I asked her. "What if I don't come back?" I added and she let out a small laugh.

"I can't expect you to stop hunting and I know you'll come back." She replied and stroked my head. "You saved people and I'm so proud of you." She added and I felt my eyes start to tear up. "I'll just pray that you're safe. Or I'll cast one of your spells." She said and I let out a small laugh myself.

"You're a Wiccan now?" I asked her and she pulled me into a hug.

"Why not." She said and turned the channel onto the news. She then encouraged me to go search for a hunt or contact my acquaintances. Honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to go on a hunt, but there was nothing else I could do. My mother was right: I had to find something to keep myself occupied or I'd go crazy just thinking about Gadreel.

So I contacted some of my contacts and one passed on a hunt to me, since they're hands were pretty full and I was closer to it. Never really could relate to having a full plate, but I took it and began researching. There were three missing teenage girls in Madrid, Nebraska, and no one had any idea what happened to them. Their parents, highly religious, said they were good girls and had no enemies. However, their classmates at school said they were losers, so I knew the parents were wrong there.

Shortly after the girls went missing, some of the kids at the high school went missing. Only, their bodies were recovered from the river running behind the town with their eyes, ears, noses, tongues and hands missing.

The town was in a panic and something wasn't right. It all began with the three girls gone missing. Then more, but clearly murdered. Why didn't the girls turn up dead? This case was highly mysterious and it grabbed my attention. I had to solve it and end it.

I grabbed my bags and my car keys and found a cooler of food and an envelope of money, about one thousand dollars, near the door. I glanced up and saw my mother standing in the kitchen entrance with a smile on her pretty face.

"Call when you get there." She said and walked up to me, giving me a hug goodbye. I didn't want to leave, but I had to.

I left the house and got into my car. This was familiar and when I glanced at the passenger seat, the loneliness returned. That too was familiar. I looked at the living room window and saw my mother waving.

I started the engine and drove off.

"Hi ho, hi ho; another hunt to go." I sang softly, almost sad, and turned up the volume of my radio. I couldn't stop thinking about Gadreel and how he was doing. My mother said she would pray for my safety and I thought that maybe I could do the same for him.

"Hecate, please keep him safe and help him to find the items of Metatron's spell so he can return sooner." I said and remained silent after that. What was I supposed to do; talk to myself? Yeah, like that's not crazy. So, I just drove, ate and slept, all done in complete and agonizing silence. If it wasn't for my radio, I would have picked up a hitchhiker just to have someone to talk to.

Not a bad idea, actually. Who would try to kill the girl with a shit load of weapons in her trunk?

I snapped myself out of it, trying to focus on the hunt. When I finally arrived in Madrid, Nebraska, without a hitchhiker, I got a motel room and quickly got onto the hunt. Of course, I called my mother first to let her know that I had arrived safely.

Then, I tried to decide on a plan of action for my hunt. I didn't really know what I was going to do, but I settled for being vigilant and to think fast. I walked around and found there was something at the church for the missing and murdered.

Bingo.

Oh, a little insensitive…

I walked in and stood by the door where some people just turned and gave me sad smiles. The church was full of people and after a few minutes of listening, learnt that I had walked in towards the end of the sermon. Then it was over and people began to talk. That's pretty much all I cared about.

Oh, insensitive again…

Oh, fuck it. A hunter can't always be sensitive. Find a monster, track it, and kill it. End of story. Sucks for those that are already dead, but I can't grieve for them; I don't have much time left to save potential victims. This is my job.

I began walking around and heard little bits of information that could be useful. The parents of the victims had told the officers on the case everything they had seen. Then, that information was leaked into the public somehow. People started comparing things and found that all the dead teenagers had strange things found in their room.

"It was a little cloth filled with strange things and bundled up, hidden in their rooms." Someone had said. I continued walking and heard slightly more details about these little cloth pouches.

"I found bones in those things." Another had said.

"I tell you; it's Devil Worship." Some old crone had said and I held back a laugh. I knew it was more like Witchcraft than Devil Worship. It pissed me off when people said that. People feared what they didn't understand and, rather than educate themselves, they remain ignorant and judgmental.

Assholes.

I had to research about these little bags and find out what they were.

"There was also sulfur." Someone had said and shortly after that, I froze when someone cleared their throat. When I looked in the direction of that sound, I found a guy about my age, good looking, staring at me with this grin. My heart began racing because I began fearing that I'd be in the spotlight and then unable to continue hunting.

"I've never seen you before." He said as he approached me and I managed an awkward smile. Not perfect, but it'll do.

"I'm not from here." I said and he nodded, like he had already guessed that. "I had a family member go missing and what happened in your town made me sort of relive it." I added and he nodded again, but looked sympathetic.

"I'm Patrick." He said and extended his hand. I took it and his hand was surprisingly soft.

"I'm Anne." I replied. I had actually thought of going with another name, but something told me there was nothing to worry about.

"Neil was my brother." He said and when I didn't seem to acknowledge that bit of information, he sort of let out a small laugh and smiled. "One of the victims." He added and then I reacted.

"I'm sorry." I replied and he brushed it off like I had commented on how awesome his hair looked. I knew I had nothing to worry about. Patrick wasn't a threat, but a potential ally. "I'd like to help, if I could." I said and he nodded as he looked up at me.

"Thanks, but I don't know how you could." He replied and then glanced over his shoulder at a small ground of others about his age or younger. They seemed somewhat sad. When he looked back at me, he seemed sad too. "We just don't know what to do." he added and my heart sort of sank.

However, it was time to do my job.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

He welcomed me to meet that small group and when he introduced me, they all just smiled softly and nodded. I wasn't very good at remembering names, but I tired. There was Brent, Valerie, Josh, Bernice, Heather, Patrick and Cathy. They were all related to or friends with the victims. They were all stunned by what happened and couldn't understand what was going on. When Patrick said I wanted to help, they seemed happy, but doubtful.

I completely understood and didn't blame them. However, if I told them monsters were real and I was a hunter, I'd either prove them wrong or scare _everyone _away.

"I read online that the three missing girls that haven't yet been found weren't liked at school." I said, practically whispering. They all looked around as if trying to see if anyone had heard and then began walking away, but Patrick nodded and gestured for me to follow. We walked out of the church and stood far from the door.

"They were odd." Bernice said. "They stared at everyone like looks could kill, but seemed like little angels whenever adults were around. If anyone tried to tell anyone how weird they were; no one would believe us." She added.

"Outside of school, they were all religious. But at school, they were almost satanic." Heather had said. I sort of wanted to correct her, but I found the contrast more important. From good church girls to Devil Worshippers. There was a real problem here.

"Everyone whose dead were supposedly bullies to those Bitches of Eastwick." Brent had said. I found his statement interesting, mostly because it made me think of the movie "The Craft". Either way, it seemed like he believed these girls were into Witchcraft. So far, that was my belief.

"Some adults were talking about these cloth bags with bones in them." I said and they began nodding.

"Every one of the victims had one in their room." Valerie said and then Cathy just burst out of sadness and rage.

"Can we please not call them victims?" she asked and everyone looked down in silence, all but one: Josh.

"That's what they are; victims of something horrible and until those bitches get theirs, they'll be known as victims." He said and I found it a little odd that they all blamed the three missing girls. I couldn't say that I disagreed, but the teenagers and the adults weren't seeing the same thing. That is what alarmed me.

I considered what I'd do next. Do I tell them I'm a hunter or do I ask them what they think? How do I get to more information?

"How can you help?" Patrick said and everyone looked at me.

One part of the problem was solved. Now I just had to think quickly about my answer. I considered it as I looked at their faces and I knew, as much as I felt that they were possible allies, I had to be careful.

"Have you seen what was inside those cloth bags, besides bones?" I asked them and Bernice was the first to answer.

"Herbs." She said and when the group looked at her, she crossed her arms over her chest. "I just don't know what kind." She added.

"That's okay." I replied and considered my next move carefully. "What about the missing girls? Any of those bags in their rooms?" I asked and they all were silent. I glanced at Patrick and he just looked at me. Clearly, none of them knew.

"How are you going to help?" Josh asked and they all stared at me. They wanted a straight answer. Well, I couldn't provide them with one. So, I settled for ambiguity.

"I'm no stranger to odd things like this. I'm no expert, but if you help me, I can find out what's going on." I said and they seemed a little relieved, but still doubtful. I didn't lie; I just avoided details that would expose me. Either way, Patrick seemed convinced.

"What do you need?" he asked me and I gave him a soft smile.

"To get into at least one of the missing girls' room." I said and they all glanced at each other as if none of them wanted to even think of that. Patrick glanced at them, then back at me and nodded.

"You got it." he said and then the others gasped and shot him glares.

"Are you kidding?" Bernice asked.

"We're not going there." Cathy said and the others agreed. Patrick stood tall and narrowed his eyes at them. Clearly, they looked at him as a sort of leader. Whatever he said; they did.

"We want those girls caught?" he asked them. "We help her." he added, then they all looked at me and I gave a soft smile.

"Alright, but how?" Valerie asked me.

"The adults don't know what you do, right?" I asked them and they nodded. "Then play on it. Go to the homes of those girls like you're their friends, wanting to pray and so on." I added and then they all nodded and glanced at each other.

I gave Patrick my cell number and got back to the motel room. The first thing I did was research about those bags and learnt that they were called Hex Bags. Witches used them to inflict vengeance. The hex bag was hidden in the room and when that person walks in, they die. The only way to prevent it is to find the hex bag and burn it.

Then I read something else: these bags can be used to hide from angels and demons. I found that interesting and wrote down everything in my journal. When I was finished, I researched the murders and found some images of the bodies and the rooms where the hex bags were found. I didn't really see anything that could be helpful.

The only thing that dominated my thoughts was that the hex bags weren't just used to hex, but to hide from angels and demons. What I wanted to know was how those bags were really being used. I assumed it was to hex because those that had a bag in their room was dead and had all five senses removed.

And speaking of those details, I had to wonder if there was some sort of dark ritual involved. So far, I had no knowledge or search results to support that theory.

After a couple of hours had passed, I got a call from Patrick saying that he could get me into one of the missing girls' room; Malory's room. I got into my car and drove over to the address he had given me. When I got there, they were all there, waiting for me. Malory's parents totally believed that we wanted to be in their daughter's room to pray for her safe return. Personally, I would have found that odd, but apparently her parents just focused on the word "pray".

Once the door was closed, I began looking through her room for anything that could be helpful. So far, after going through everything, I only found one odd thing: a funny smell around her closet. It was like the smell that hits you after you light a match, but so much more intense. I had never smelt something that strong before.

I tried to pinpoint the source of the smell, but couldn't find it.

When I stood up and turned around, the group just stood there and stared at me.

"Anything?" Heather asked me. I shook my head and looked around. I walked over to Malory's desk and picked up a bracelet that she had near the photo of her and two other girls, who I assumed were her friends.

Patrick arched an eyebrow as I placed the bracelet in my pocket and I just smiled softly.

"Might help me later." I said and he didn't ask questions. What I was really going to do was a location spell like I did to find Gadreel's grace. If there was no indication that Malory was anything like the group had said, then my spells were all that could help me.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

When I was back at the motel, I did that spell with a map of the area. Having Malory's bracelet helped to hone in on her specifically and I had a pretty good feeling that wherever she was, so were her friends.

My pendulum fell onto a spot and it was somewhere in the forest. I prepared a spell that would guide me directly to them and was about to leave, when I thought one last little bit of research would be a good idea.

I opened my laptop and researched what smelled like lighting a match. I soon had my answer and it was sulfur, usually something that lingers after a demon. There's usually a sort of yellow powder left, but I couldn't find anything in Malory's room. Either way, that smell was sulfur.

Then, what I heard about sulfur at the church made more sense. Sulfur was at every location with the hex bags as well as Malory's room. The only thing I didn't find was a hex bag. Now I came back to the question: how were the hex bags being used?

That's when I guessed that the only way I'd find out is if I asked Malory herself.

I got into my car and drove over to the park, my spell ready to hone in on her specific location.

"Find the girl that I need; keep us safe, I do plead. By the powers of three time three; as I will it, so mote it be." I said as I let my pendulum swing freely. Whenever it felt drawn in a direction, I followed and continued to say my incantation. Eventually, I arrived at a little shack and my pendulum seemed frozen in place.

I placed it in my pocket and knocked at the door. After a few seconds, the door opened and there stood Malory. She threw some holy water into my face and, honestly, it took me off guard. I wiped it away and she pulled me in before I could protest.

She closed the door and stood there, staring at me.

"Who are you?" she asked me and I shot her a glare as I wiped my face.

"Here to put an end to the madness." I said and then she just threw her arms around me, hugging me. My mind was swirling, unable to make sense of this. However, I reminded myself of what I believed in as a hunter: the world is in shades of grey.

Malory pulled back and then her two friends came out and stared at me.

"Gonna explain?" I asked them and they invited me to sit down on some pillows in the center of their little shack.

"First, who are you?" Malory asked me and I sighed, looking at all three of them. They seemed scared and then, on the walls, I noticed symbols. When I looked up, I saw something familiar: a Devil's Trap. It all made sense, except I was missing the details.

When I looked back at them, I gave them a soft smile.

"I'm a hunter." I said and I wasn't certain if they seemed relieved or still afraid.

"Hunting us?" one of the two other girls asked me. I met her eyes and maintained my smile.

"It started out that way." I replied honestly. "A small group told me they suspected you three, but the sulfur and the other use of hex bags is what throws me off." I said and they looked at me, as if anticipating for me to kill them. "Are you using the hex bags to hide from demons?" I asked them and they sighed in relief.

"Yes." Malory said. "A year ago, us three and our friends, Neil, Ashton, Emily…" she added, unable to name the others. There was more, I knew that much, but I didn't ask. "We made deals with those demons. We were tired of all the religious bullshit in town and were highly interested in witchcraft. Only, it was taking forever to gain any power.

"We made a deal and they gave us a year. We thought we could beat them, but we were wrong. Those hex bags didn't help as much as we had hoped. I don't know what happened, but our friends died. It's only us now and those people, they're actually demons." Malory said and it began making sense.

The demons posed as the siblings of the deceased so they could hunt down the remaining souls to collect from their deals. Wow, how this hunt has changed on a dime.

And when I had walked into her room, I could smell sulfur, but couldn't find it or the hex bag. Was it possible that the demons took it away before I could find it? Then I began asking myself questions. Why did the demons befriend me? Before I could continue asking myself questions, Malory added on.

"Those demons used something that we once said. In the beginning, we wanted to get revenge on those that were mean to us and we said we'd take their five senses. They killed our friends that way!" Malory said with some tears in her eyes.

"All to frame us." The other girl that was silent has said. "They want us to come out and surrender and this is their strategy." She added.

At that moment, there was a blood curdling howl and the three girls jolted up and glanced at each other, then at me. Their eyes were dark and I knew they were angry at me. For what, I wasn't sure.

"You led them to us!" Malory shouted at me.

"What?" I asked and they pulled me closer to them, gripping my wrists so hard I winced.

"You hear that?" one of the girls has said. "Those are Hellhounds." She added.

"You led the demons straight to us." Malory snarled at me and I could hear the voices of that small group. They were singing and laughing, coming closer to the little shack.

"I didn't do it on purpose." I said and they continued to glare at me. After a second or two, the silent girl grabbed a bag of salt and dropped it by the walls of the shack.

I honestly didn't know what to do. I had never faced demons before and I didn't know how to save these three girls. I wasn't certain if they were worth saving. Harsh, I know, but they made a deal with demons to become powerful witches. In the beginning, they intended on harming. I doubt that they did, but I didn't know anything other than what they told me.

While they did what they could to protect themselves, I chanted a truth spell in a whisper.

"From the mouths of these youths; let me know they spoke the truth. As above, as below; please, somehow let me know. By the powers of three times three; as I will it, so mote it be." I said and continued to say it until the pendulum in my pocket felt more noticeable, like it suddenly felt heavier. There was my sign; the girls spoke the truth.

"I can help." I said and they shot me another glare. The howls and the laughing were louder and I knew time was slipping away. "Trust me." I said and looked away from them. I had an idea and I was hoping that it would work.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"Gadreel, I never prayed to an angel before, so I don't know how this works." I began and concentrated, although, I didn't know what I was trying to do. "I've got demons and Hellhounds outside and three girls that need help. Please, if you can hear me, if you can spare a few seconds…" I said, letting my sentence drop because I hadn't seen him for weeks. What made me think he'd come? "Please help us." I concluded and waited. Those seconds seemed like minutes and when I opened my eyes, the three girls just looked at me like I was insane.

"An angel?" Malory asked me.

At that moment, there was the sound of large flapping wings and my heart flipped. I spun on my heels and behind me stood Gadreel with a small smile on his face as he looked right into my eyes.

"The best." I replied as I smiled at Gadreel and then I turned to look at the girls, my smile changing to a grin.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Gadreel looked up as he heard the laughing and the Hellhounds, but I noticed that it all slowly fell silent. I glanced at Gadreel and he had on that pouty face. Only this time, he seemed like a strong warrior.

"Anne, I'll pass onto you the words to the Exorcism." He said and before I could ask how in such a short time, I could learnt all of that which was in Latin, he placed his index and his middle finger on my forehead. Like a light switch, I suddenly knew all the words to the Exorcism as if I had memorized them years ago and knew them by heart.

"Wow." I mumbled.

"You must speak the words once I open the door and I shall take care of the Hellhounds." He said and at that moment, a thick silver stake slipped out of his sleeve and into his hand.

When he opened the door to the little shack, I immediately began the Exorcism, safe within the square of salt.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica…"

Gadreel stepped out and before the demons could attack, they fell weak to the words I spoke. I saw him swinging at things that I couldn't see and he stabbed them. I could hear the yelps and the screams that came from the three girls.

I never slowed down in the Exorcism, knowing that Gadreel needed my help.

"Ergo, draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te ... cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare... Vade, satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciæ, hostis humanæ salutis..."

I watched him like a hawk as he killed Hellhound after Hellhound. The demons were spitting out black smoke and falling to their knees. This sort of gave me strength like I had never known before. I was doing this to demons! It made me feel like I was the most awesome hunter in the world!

"Humiliare sub potenti manu Dei; contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine... quem inferi tremunt... Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine. Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos." I concluded and the black smoke came out of the bodies of those people and disappeared in every direction.

When Gadreel had killed what I assumed was the last Hellhound, he came back in and smiled softly at me. The three girls cried and hugged each other. When he glanced at them, all kindness fell from his face and I knew something was wrong.

Before I could ask, I noticed that sigils began appearing on the walls of the shack and I recognized them immediately from my Enochian lessons. They were the Angel Imprisoning Sigil as well as the Angel Trap Sigil. Gadreel was powerless in this little shack and couldn't go anywhere unless I destroy the sigils.

Then the girls turned and looked at Gadreel, that darkness returning to their eyes. only, I knew it wasn't anger.

"I wonder what we can get from an angel." Malory said and then my rage began to boil. I did not pray for him to help these girls only to have him imprisoned and used. There was no force on Earth that could keep me from protecting him against these girls.

I immediately began thinking the words of a spell with as much concentration as I could.

_I bind the power of these girls. I bind them from doing harm; harm to themselves and harm to others. I bind their power with the strength of light; light from the God and from the Goddess._

I repeated those words until Malory tried to do something and seemed confused. She tried again and she quickly realized it wasn't working. At that point, I began whispering my incantation and when all three realized their powers weren't working, I began chanting louder.

Then it hit them that I was binding them. I repeated the words one last time and felt that sort of spark that let me know that the spell was done; their powers were good and bound.

"A white witch." Malory said with venom in her voice.

"A Wiccan." I corrected and as she threw herself at me in an attempt to attack, I ducked and pulled her arm behind her back. I did exactly as I showed Gadreel. It took me back to the day where I trained him how to employ defensive fighting moves and it worked like a charm on Malory.

When her two friends tried to join in and help her, Gadreel stopped them by using the very moves I had taught him and he delivered quite the blows. The shack was small and their Angel Trap Sigil was quite large, so they failed to predict this situation, luckily for us.

Within a few minutes, the three girls were out cold on the ground. I quickly damaged the sigils and allowed Gadreel to be set free. He took my hand and the next second, I realized that I was standing in my motel room. I was stunned by what he could do and when I turned and saw that smile on his face, I was somewhat blown away.

"Thanks." I said and sort of threw myself into him. This time, we _both_ wrapped our arms around each other. "And sorry that they imprisoned you with those sigils." I added and when I pulled back, his smile remained.

"Thank you for using that binding spell." He said and then his smile weakened. I looked at him and I guess my expression told him that I suspected something was wrong. "I must tell you something, Anne." He began and instantly, my heart sank. "Once someone makes a deal with a demon, there is nothing an angel can do to save them." He added and then I sort of felt relieved. I sort of anticipated something along those lines, but it was a little sad.

I nodded and gave him a soft smile. Even if those girls could have been saved, after what they did, I'd say they weren't worth it. Yeah, I know, I'm being judgmental. Damned right, after what they did to Gadreel? No one harms my angel.

"What I'm trying to say is that I came not for those girls, but for you." He said and I smiled, feeling my cheeks burn. Oh, I wanted to kiss him badly. However, I controlled myself and just stared at him lovingly.

"Sorry I took you away from breaking Metatron's spell." I said and he smiled at me like I always hoped he would.

"No need to apologize." He said. "The angels are helping me look. Hannah was surprised to see I had returned with my grace and vowed that she would help me." he replied and then his eyes softened so much that I thought for sure I was going to melt. "If you ever need me, pray and I shall come." He said and gave me another hug. Only this time, it was tender. Our other hugs made me feel like we were friends. This one made me feel like there was a deep connection between us.

When he pulled away, I heard the sound of large flapping wings and my heart sort of sank again as I realized he was gone. Oh, this sucks.

I looked around at all my stuff and knew that my hunt was finished. It was fucked up badly, but it was finished. I was free to return home. I was packing my stuff and when I was ready; I pulled out my cell phone and called my mother. I told her all about my hunt and she sounded as unnerved as I was. This hunt was twisted and we both agreed that the only good I got from it was that I got to see Gadreel.

I hadn't really saved anyone. Those girls had made a deal and were trying to get away from it. Gadreel had said it, there was nothing he could do and even if he could, I wouldn't want him to place himself in harm's way for those girls again. I could have lost him today and that, I wouldn't allow.

I placed everything in the car, returned the keys and drove out of there was fast as I could. I wanted to leave all of this behind me and go back home. Hopefully, I'd see Gadreel soon.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

As soon as I got back home, I went straight to my bed and fell asleep; I was exhausted. I was drifting in and out and when someone sat on my bed, I opened and eyes and saw my mother looking down at me with a smile. She stroked my cheek softly and then my head.

"I shouldn't have left." I said weakly to her, fighting to keep my eyes opened.

"Why do you say that?" she asked me and I told her that it was a waste of time. They sold their souls and Gadreel said no angel can intercept. She pretty much lost her smile when I mentioned demons, but it came back when I mentioned Gadreel.

"Focus on the good." She replied, implying the part of that day with Gadreel. "How's he doing?" she asked me and I smiled.

"The angels are helping him." I said and her smile grew.

"He'll be back in no time." she said and kissed my forehead gently, letting me fall asleep.

The next time I opened my eyes, all I could focus on was the smell. The air smelled like eggs and bacon. My stomach was growling at that alone and I sprung out of bed as quickly as my exhausted body could manage. I don't know why I was so tired; it's not like I ran from a werewolf or fought a vampire endlessly until I won.

I walked into the kitchen and my mother had just put the eggs and bacon on two plates. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Good morning, sweetie." She said and got two glasses and filled them with milk.

It really felt good to be back home. God, how I loved it!

We sat down and ate, took showers, got dressed and left the house for the day. My mother wanted to take me to the movies and then go shopping like we used to. Hunting didn't work so well for me and Gadreel was or was not going to show up again. All I could do was wait and try to stay sane.

However, all throughout the movie, I thought of him. Whenever I tried on new clothes in the changing room, I thought of the day where he tried on clothes and I would laugh or bit my lower lip. I couldn't ever stop thinking of him even if I tired. I didn't know whether to give up with a tremendous amount of sadness or try to remember my best moments with him and smile. I had to do something that wouldn't crush my hope.

So, I looked at the new clothes and imagined what he'd say. Naturally, all I wanted to do was try on dresses that I thought would blow his mind. As I stepped out to show my mother, it was clear she knew what I was doing. Her smile told me so.

"He'd love that one." She said and I would sort of feel offended and stop trying on dresses. There was a part of me that just wanted to imagine these things without my mother commenting on it.

When we left the store, I knew she could see my unhappiness and it sort of dragged her down with me, knowing there was nothing she could do to make me smile. I didn't want her to feel guilty. I just didn't know what to do.

A few days passed and I wasn't looking really good. My mother had to practically drag me to the bathroom and tell me I looked like a slob. She had to be harsh to snap me out of it because it seemed I no longer cared about myself. As I let the warm water pour down on me, I questioned what I was doing. Why was I so grumpy and sad? Why couldn't I just be myself? Gadreel was just an angel that I helped, that I traveled with shortly. He had a mission and I had to support him. We're not star crossed lovers. We were probably never meant to be together in such a way.

I had to be harsh with myself too. I had to tell myself that I didn't love him, just so I wouldn't feel so hurt. I wanted to cry like my heart and soul had been crushed, but I knew crying wouldn't help to convince myself that I was just a good supportive friend.

When I stepped out of the shower and got dressed in my new clothes, I tried to look happy, but I had to admit that it would be a long process. My reflection made me wonder if I had the flu. I looked like shit. I practically didn't recognized myself. Yeah, I really questioned what the hell was wrong with me.

I walked out into the hall and then the living room. It was silent, but I ignored it.

"Anne, sweetie." My mother said softly and when I turned around slowly, as if almost careless, I saw Gadreel standing there with this saddened look in his eyes. I knew instantly that something was wrong. When I glanced at my mother, she smiled softly, but she looked sad too.

She left the room, leaving me with sad Gadreel. He walked up to me, but not too close. It seemed he had difficulty talking, but formed that sort of pouty expression and pushed it all out.

"Your mother prayed to me about you." He said and there it was: what I had sensed as something wrong. "I'm sorry this is so hard on you." He added and I knew I had to change my behavior and start masking my emotions a lot better if I couldn't manage to convince myself.

"It's not." I said and managed a smile that was close enough to my usual one. "It was that last hunt and I think being a hunter is sort of getting to me." I added and tried to make it sound like that really was the problem. The way he looked at me told me I had failed. I could usually lie my way out of things, but apparently I couldn't do those that I loved.

Damn.

"Anne." He said softly and approached me.

"Hey, I'm fine." I replied and tried to be myself. "There's just a lot going on and it's a lot to take in." I added and the way he looked at me now was as if he was backing off. Part of me felt relieved while the other wanted to just throw myself in his arms and cry, begging him to stay. Above all, I felt stupid that he had come here all because I was "depressed" without him. All I wanted to do was kick myself for being so pathetic.

"How's it going in Heaven?" I asked him and he nodded, but that sadness was still there.

"Fine. We believe we're getting close to the Nephilim's soul." He responded and we stayed a little silent.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked him and he gave me a soft smile.

"Perhaps you have a spell I could use?" he asked and I smiled, as if I really was back to my good old self.

"You bet." I said and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. I wrote down a finding spell that I had used often whenever I couldn't find stuff and went to my room to grab my pendulum. I handed both to Gadreel and explained that the pendulum would sway and he'd feel a pull; that he had to follow the pull.

"Thank you, Anne." He said and stared at me as if there was something he wanted to say. But he did something completely unexpected and it stunned me beyond belief: he closed the gap and kissed my cheek.

Then I heard that sound of flapping wings and he was gone.

I lifted my hand to my cheek and stayed frozen in place, stunned that Gadreel had kissed my cheek. If that wouldn't get me out of my funk, nothing ever would. A smile had begun broadening on my lips and when my mother walked in, seeing my hand on my cheek and that stupid look on my face, she knew what had happened.

Now I couldn't be mad with her for praying to Gadreel or I would have never gotten this kiss on my cheek.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

The kiss that Gadreel placed on my cheek with his amazing lips definitely did the trick. It showed me that we were still close and getting closer. I believed it was safe to say that we were slowly moving pass being friends. There were possibilities now and it gave me back some hope.

A day later, I was in my room, researching spells and practicing them. If they were bullshit, I discarded them. If I could feel something, even if it was small, I kept it and practiced some more. Some needed a lot of concentration and it was sort of like meditation.

It was at that moment, I heard flapping wings and I snapped my eyes opened, got to my feet and dashed out of my room. Once I got into the living room, Gadreel turned and gave me a soft smile. My mother walked out of the kitchen and just smiled as she whipped a towel over her shoulder.

I walked up to him and threw my arms around him in a hug. He instantly wrapped his around my waist and we stayed that way for a few seconds.

"We found her." he whispered to me and when I pulled back, his smile was brilliantly beautiful. "We resurrected her and we can feel Metatron's spell losing strength." He added and I was just so happy that I hugged him again.

"One down, two more to go." I said and when I pulled back, he pulled something out of his black leather jacket: my pendulum.

"We wouldn't have done it without your spell." He said and I beamed. If he could find the items used in Metatron's spell faster with my spell, than he'd be back to stay with me a lot sooner. I couldn't help but glow with happiness and, apparently, Gadreel could see it. It showed in his eyes and his smile.

Then, his smiled faded and I knew what he was going to say next. Oddly, I didn't feel so upset.

"I must return and continue the search." He said and I smiled softly and nodded.

"Thanks for dropping in." I said and he knew I would be alright. Still, it seemed like he didn't want to go. Then, he vanished and all I noticed in that split second was that sound. Every time I heard it, it always sort of stunned me that Gadreel was an angel… again. I never saw an angel before, so I had no idea what they were like or what they could do. So, naturally, seeing Gadreel as an angel kind of clashed with my memories of him as a human.

When I turned, my mother still stood there with that smile on her face.

"I love the way you light up the room whenever Gadreel is here." She said and I playfully glared at her. She laughed and walked up to me, wrapping one arm around my shoulder and walked me into the kitchen. "If seeing him makes you so happy, when not try a spell or something to do that." She added and I looked at her with an arched eyebrow.

"A spell?" I asked her and she grinned.

"You can, can't you?" she asked me. "Crystal ball, maybe?" she added, now teasing me and I smiled, thinking, then nodding.

"Only thing I can think of is a dream spell that will allow me to see him during my sleep." I said and her smile matched mine. She nodded and got me to help her wash and dry the dishes as I went further into details. All I would need is something that belonged to him and I had all of it. The best thing I could use was his journal. I could even use some oils, but I hated using that in my spells. For one thing, I didn't know where to buy any and how to make it. Even if I did, I still lacked most of the ingredients and I was right where I started.

So, all I have to use is candles, which is fine by me. I like candles.

Once I finished with the dishes, my mother and I watched television until she had to go to her new part time job. She was having a bit of a hard time finding work, but she was doing pretty well. And all this time, I stressed about money. My mother did very well at managing her financial stress; I wish I knew her secret. However, knowing my mother, it was her calm demeanor under any kind of stress.

I was in the house by myself and doing the things I used to do: play music and dance to it like I had no care in the world. For the moment, if felt pretty good to let go of everything and just focus on dancing. I wasn't a very good dancer, but it's not like I was being watched. Goddess, I hope I wasn't being watched.

I later watched a movie once I got tired and ate whatever junk food my mother had in the cupboards.

That's when the loneliness crept back and made me miss Gadreel. But this time, I had a plan. I would gather everything I needed and cast a dream spell that would let me see him. I never tried such a spell, but what else would I do?

When I began yawning, I shut off the television and locked the front door. I went into my room, got into my pajamas and opened my Book of Shadows. I did write down one dream spell and looked at the required items. I needed something that belonged to Gadreel, one purple candle, concentration and an incantation, of course.

Perfect.

I got out Gadreel's journal from one of my bags, took one of my mother's purple candles and sat on my floor. I struck a match and began with a little chant I always used in candle magic.

"Sacred candle, sacred flame; aid the magic that I name." I said three times as I lit the candle and then I cleared my mind, focusing only on the spell and what I wanted to do. I focused on Gadreel and our times together. Then, I focused on wanting to see him and what he could be doing.

I held his journal in my hands and continued to think of him.

"Hecate and Cernunnos, I ask to see Gadreel in my dreams. What is he doing? I want to be part of his Heavenly quest and be as close to him as I'm allowed. I miss him." I said and focused once more before saying the incantation to the dream spell.

"I miss you every day and every night; I pray to see you in sleepy sight. Your gentle breath, your tender touch; I long for you, so very much. Your lips so soft, your eyes so bright; I need you on this lonely night. Let me be close like the times we've spent; I miss you, my Heaven sent. As is my will, this shall be done; my magic dream has now begun." I said over and over until I felt that the spell was taking effect.

"Thank you." I said and blew out the candle, gently placing it on the desk in my room and curling up in bed with Gadreel's journal under my pillow.

I had to keep my mind clear, especially about the spell. I let fatigue pull me in and hoped that the spell had worked. Seeing Gadreel gave me comfort, happiness and hope.

My consciousness transitioned into darkness and I drifted into sleep.

Everything was bright and clean. It wasn't how I expected Heaven to be; it was very corporate looking. Then, I saw Gadreel come into view and he wasn't alone: Hannah and others were with him and Gadreel pulled out my pendulum and began saying the incantation that I gave him. I could see that Hannah was uncomfortable with Gadreel using a Wiccan spell and appearing to embrace it.

The pendulum swayed and he followed it whenever it pulled in a specific direction. The others followed and when the pendulum began swaying crazily, the others all separated and began searching everywhere.

"Must you use that?" Hannah asked Gadreel and he shot her a cold frown. And I thought I had received the full extent of that when he scolded me that day in the bar. I was wrong. What he gave Hannah was the full extent. I would have winced if I was grinning.

"Must I repeat myself?" he asked her and when she lowered her eyes, he continued. "The only way to break a spell is with a spell. And since we need a little assistance to find the items Metatron used, yes, I am using this spell." He said and his voice was so cold and harsh, that it took me by surprise. This was a side of Gadreel I hadn't seen and I was enjoying it; mostly because I wasn't the one receiving it.

Hannah was silent after that and the angels came back, looking slightly confused. Gadreel looked at the pendulum and it continued to sway like crazy. He glanced around and seemed puzzled as well.

I looked around too and when I looked up, something seemed a little weird. I had to stare at it and still, I couldn't figure it out. What exactly was I staring at? What captivated my attention?


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

In the ceiling, there was a skylight. It was odd in so many ways, that I believed it was that reason alone that made it difficult for me to focus and figure out why I couldn't make out what I was seeing. There was light shimmering on the other side and it was hard to see if the glass was like some sort of quartz or if it was the light. There was a hint of various colors and it was throwing me off.

But, at the right moment, at the right place where light dimmed, I saw something strange that I knew my brain wouldn't recognize: a sigil. Then, with the type of glass or the light, whatever it was, the sigil disappeared.

At that moment, my eyes fluttered open and I glanced around, realizing I was in my room. I sat up in bed and rubbed my face. I looked at my clock and I had been asleep for a couple of hours. Funny, it only felt like a couple of minutes.

I knew I had to warn Gadreel. Having a sigil in that skylight seemed odd and if my pendulum was swinging illogically, then that sigil had to be important.

"Gadreel," I began, praying so he could hear me. "Look up. Look hard at the glass of that skylight. I saw a sigil and I know it's Enochian because I don't have the finest clue of what it means. And, if you're wondering how I know this, I cast a dream spell so I could be of further help. So, yeah. Good luck." I concluded and rubbed my face again.

I glanced at the clock and realized that my mother would be home soon. Should I get up and wait for her or fall back asleep? If I went for option number two, would I continue to dream about Gadreel?

So I decided to fall back asleep.

Only, I didn't dream about Gadreel. The next time I opened my eyes, light was coming through the window, and my memories of my dreams were nothing but darkness. It was as if I never dreamt at all after I fell back asleep. I hated that.

I got out of bed, thinking about my spell. I walked over to my bags and pulled out my journal, writing down everything that had happened so far. When I caught up to my dream spell, I wrote that I was certain that I'd have to cast that spell every night before going to bed. I had a feeling that once I wake up, the spell either weakens or no longer works.

Then I got dressed and walked quietly into the hall. I checked on my mother, knowing that she'd be sleeping in after a late shift. I thought of preparing her breakfast, but I didn't know when she'd wake up. So, I thought of preparing something just for myself.

I first went to the bathroom and then fixed my hair. Apparently, I was in need of a haircut. My hair was the shits and was now curling in all the wrong places. I could cut it myself, but I'd just end up looking like a lunatic. The last time I did that, the hair stylist noticed and sort of grinned, which I hated.

I walked past the living room and froze. I turned and smiled when Gadreel stood up from the sofa and smiled at me. I walked into the living room and got as close as we normally would to each other, which is about an arm's reach apart.

"So, what was the sigil?" I asked him and his smile actually turned into what looked like a grin. That stunned me a little. The man, or should I say angel, can grin? He just gets more gorgeous by the minute, doesn't he?

"It was to misdirect any kind of magic." He replied and I nodded. "The Cupid's Bow must be close." He added and I nodded again.

We remained silent for a couple of seconds and I just had to say something, but I wasn't sure what. So, my mind spit out the only thing I could think of.

"Hope I didn't freak you out about my dream spell." I said and his smile returned to his beautiful lips.

"Not at all." He said and just stared at me with that smile. It was a little uncomfortable, but I didn't mind him staring at me. For once, it was the other way around! But what made it slightly uncomfortable was the fact that I didn't have anything else to say and, apparently, neither did Gadreel.

"The angels treating you good?" I asked, and immediately felt stupid. What kind of question is that? I sound like a mother talking to her kid after the first day of school!

"Just fine." Gadreel replied and we were back to the awkward silence and staring. I was beginning to think that angels couldn't grasp the concept of small talk. Either that, or Gadreel's social skills were as bad as mine back when I was in high school, not that they really improved much over the years.

I sort of had the feeling that Gadreel didn't want to go, and as nice as that was, I knew I couldn't keep him from breaking Metatron's spell.

"If you need any more help, let me know." I said and he nodded, a hint of sadness in his stunning green eyes. I felt a little guilty, but I had to send him back. The quicker Heaven is free from Metatron's spell, the quicker the stranded human souls can get in and away from Hell's Hellhounds.

"I will." He said and then vanished, leaving nothing but that sound.

I turned, trying to get back to normal, so to speak, and walked into the kitchen, fixing myself something to eat. When I was done, my mother walked in, yawning and looking like "Dawn of the Dead". I tried not to grin, but she noticed and shot me a glare.

"Keep quiet." She said and I didn't bother holding back my grin. She walked past me, tapped my shoulder like I had misbehaved, and immediately started making coffee.

"You want fried bologna and pancakes?" I asked her and watched as she just nodded. I took out everything I needed and began cooking. As my mother waited for the coffee pot to fill, enough for a cup, she watched me and, as tired as she was, she had a small smile on her face.

When I took notice, I arched an eyebrow at her and her smile grew a little.

"What?" I had to ask.

"I'm not used to seeing you cook." She said and I let out a small laugh.

"Thanks." I said sarcastically and let out another small laugh as I recalled all the times I ate fast food. Not once in all the time that I was hunting did I ever cook for myself. Looking at the recipe for my mother's pancakes, I wondered if I still remembered what to do.

My mother, naturally, stood there and reminded me of everything. I was certain that I'd be fine, but she insisted on instructing me. Once her coffee was ready and I had the mixtures all together, making the batter, I filled her in on my dream spell and what happened.

"A sigil?" she asked me.

"Symbol with a bit more juice to it." I replied and she just nodded her head.

"So, he'll soon have two down." She said and I nodded.

"Hopefully." I responded and began cooking the pancakes. If only Gadreel were here. He could sit with us and eat homemade pancakes and fried bologna. I missed human Gadreel. Yes, a little harsh, but it was true. I was happy that Gadreel had his grace, but having it kept him away from me. Selfish, I know, but I knew him first as a man and that's what I missed.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

After breakfast, I went and got a haircut, pixie style, of course. It felt good and I looked it too. My mother decided to get her nails done at the same time and asked if I wanted the same. Where do I start? A hunter and manicured nails doesn't go well together. I could just imagined it: a werewolf charging me and, shit! I broke a nail!

"No thanks, Mom." I replied and sat down, reading a magazine near the door of the place.

After a few minutes, my cell phone rang softly in my pocket. When I pulled it out and saw it was Brennan, part of me wanted to ignore him. He was an egotistical jerk, but one never turned their back on a fellow hunter.

So I answered, and I would probably regret it later.

"Speak fast, jackass." I said and he was silent for a couple of seconds.

"Well, hello to you too." He replied and I grinned. "You interested in a vampire nest?" he asked me and I was momentarily stunned.

"Are you crazy? A whole nest? By myself?" I asked him.

"Well, we could hunt together." He said and I let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, you are crazy." I replied and he was silent for another couple of seconds. "Why call me?" I asked him and the silence continued for a little longer.

"You're the one that's been on more vampire hunts than the rest of us." He said and I was momentarily stunned once again. A grin began broadening on my lips.

"What are you implying, Brennan?" I asked and heard more silence.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Be creative, jackass." I replied and heard a sort of grunt on the other side. My grin grew big and bright. Oh, I was enjoying this.

"You're technically our expert in vampires." He said and I made a face that went along with "fuck yeah!" that would have also went with throwing my arms in the air. But, if I did, everyone would turn and look at me funny, including my mother.

"So, I'm better than you?" I asked and heard a hard grunt.

"Don't get cocky, Anne." He said and, at that point, I knew he was getting angry. He always called me Annie, even if I told him not to a thousand times over. "I hate dealing with vampires and you seem to enjoy it." he added and I laughed.

"I don't, but it's gotta be done, chicken shit." I replied and heard another grunt.

"You want the case or not?" he asked me and I paused for effect.

"If you ask nicely." I replied and he grunted like he was about to punch someone. He was silent for a few seconds and then cleared his throat.

"Will you please take the fucking case?" he asked and I laughed.

"Close enough." I replied and paused for a couple of seconds. "I'll take it. Give me the details." I added as I took out some paper and a pen from my mother's purse. I wrote down everything and hung up.

As soon as my mother was finished with her manicure, I informed her of another hunt on our way back to the car. Once we got in and my mother started the engine, she was silent, but gave me a smile.

"Vampires, uh?" she asked and I nodded.

"I've dealt with them before." I replied, but I could see a bit of worry in her eyes.

"A nest?" she asked me, now knowing what that meant.

"I know, by myself is a suicide mission." I said and the worry just grew. "If I knew someone who could go with me, I'd call them." I added and then, the worry in her eyes shifted to something I didn't quite recognize.

"I think I know someone." She said and I frowned at her. Who she hell would she know that I didn't, especially a hunter?

"Who?'" I had to ask because she let the silence linger, creating tension.

"Me." she said and I was stunned for a few seconds, and then I began to laugh. My mother narrowed her eyes at me and waited for me to finish. Every time I looked at her, I couldn't stop laughing. She had to sigh and drive out of her parking spot.

"What's so funny?" she asked me, her tone cold and harsh.

"No offense Mom, but you don't know the basics of hunting. And, even if you did, it would be crazy dangerous to bring you with me." I replied and now it was her turn to frown at me.

"You brought Gadreel with you and trained him." she said and I remembered. It was horrible planning. Sure, take a former angel on a hunt, and _then _train him. Yeah, great logic.

"Yeah, well, that's different." I said and my mother sure shot me cold glances as she glanced at the road ahead.

"Give me a chance. I bet I'll surprise you." She said and I considered it. "My jobs aren't as important as you and I'd like to be there with you." She added. I considered it greatly. If I trained my mother and shared with her everything that I knew, even the basics of it all, she could at least watch my back. I know, the last time I had such an idea, my backup ended up as stuck as me. But just maybe, this would be different. I had to try and hope.

And if it all went down the drain, I could pray to Gadreel. Yeah, not the option I really liked because I didn't like feeling like a damsel in distress. However, if I had to pray to him or look Death in the face, I'd start praying like crazy. I didn't want to die a third time.

Once we got home, I knew my mother took my silence as a gentle way of letting her down. But I was soon going to prove her wrong. I got my bags and placed them all on the kitchen table. My mother turned from the fridge and looked at me as if she didn't know what to think.

I took out all the things that I used to weaken or kill vampires and then got out my journal. At that point, my mother knew I was beginning to train her.

"The key bit of information is how to kill them." I said and pointed to a line in my journal.

"Beheading. Well, no kidding." My mother said as she read, but then continued. "Dead Man's blood to weaken them." She arched her eyebrows as if she was surprised. "That's… odd."

"Now, keep in mind their strengths." I said and pointed out my list, watching her as she read it.

"Super strength, super speed, super agility, super senses, immortality, and invulnerability; in regards to stabbings or gunshots. Regeneration and super stamina." My mother read and then looked at me, a smile slowly broadening on her lips. "Piece of cake."


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Once we had the basic information down pat, we began with the other kind of training: defensive fighting moves. We went somewhere far and quiet and then I told my mother she had to give me everything she had; hold nothing back.

"If a vampire gets a hold of you, you have to know your strength and figure out a strategy." I said and did the same to her as I did to Gadreel: swing and pin. Naturally, I held back a little so I didn't twist my mother's arm to the point she was useless. Yeah, that sounds harsh, but it's the hunter truth.

I had to work more with my mother. Not only because she was slowly learning, but because if she wasn't properly trained, she could possibly get herself killed and I couldn't endure that happening to her.

Once she was tuckered out, I showed her how to handle guns, knives and my bow and arrows, just to be on the safe side. As it turned out, she wasn't that exhausted. She enjoyed that part much more than being tackled in the dirt. She did pretty good with the weapons and practiced until her arms were tired and sore.

When she turned to me and noticed my smile, she looked at me oddly.

"What?" she asked me.

"I've done the impossible; I've trained you." I said and she narrowed her eyes at me.

"Keep it up, Anne." She said and I laughed. We returned to the house and packed everything that we needed. While my mother brought it all out to the car, I grabbed the things I needed for my dream spell and quickly packed them.

Then, my mother withdrew more money from the bank and we set out. The drive was going to be a few days, but it didn't seem to bother my mother. She was already gathering information through researches as I drove my car down the road.

She gave me the details such as the bodies found scattered all over the village. No one really had an idea of what was causing all these deaths or even where to look. There was nothing really logical about anything.

"And this is a vampire nest?" she asked me, as if she just couldn't see it in the village's and state's newspaper articles.

"It is." I replied and glanced at her briefly. "Brennan might be an asshole, but he knows what he's doing." I added and grinned. If only he had heard that, he'd never let me live it down.

"Right." My mother said as she stared at me, then went back to the laptop. "How many are usually in a nest?" she asked me and I smiled.

"More than two." I replied and she stared at me again. "There's no numbers attached to it, Mom." I added and she just nodded slowly. I knew she was beginning to worry. Maybe even beginning to question why she was going on this hunt with me.

Part of me wanted her to go back home, but the other knew a solo hunt on a nest of vampires was crazily suicidal. I couldn't call on Gadreel and all my contacts had their own hunts to deal with. In a way, I was hoping that my mother would have confidence and faith; enough to stay with me on this hunt. There was no way I could do it alone, even if I was no stranger to vampires.

Whenever I was getting tired of driving, we switched and I got out all that I needed to perform my dream spell again, then cast it as good as I could in a moving car, then I fell asleep in the passenger seat, clutching onto Gadreel's journal.

As the last dream, I was in Heaven, watching the angels searching like bloodhounds. Then, Gadreel stepped into view and became the focus of my dream, like it was meant to be.

He pulled out my pendulum and chanted my spell. He was following my pendulum and still, it swung frantically. At that moment, one of the angels, small little thing she was, came to him and Gadreel stopped the pendulum.

"We've found a door that won't open." She said.

Gadreel followed her to it and they all stood there, staring at it. He approached it and placed his hand on it, as if trying to get a feel of what was on the other side.

"Do we look for the key?" someone asked and if I could, I would have said it was useless. It would delay the search for the two other items and possibly take them to Metatron to find the key. And I knew, even though I never met him, that he'd never tell them. No one guy ever willingly told the hero what they did to the things they hid.

"It will do no good." Gadreel said and then stood back, extending his hand. A bright light glowed and there was a loud shattering noise. When the light was gone, the door looked like it met a bomb. There was only a bit of it clinging to the hinges.

The angels seemed a little shocked, but Gadreel just walked in. I, amazed and stunned, followed before the others did and looked around. Gadreel and I both stared at a small pillar with a glass box placed on top. I didn't think anything was inside, but when I stared at it for a few seconds longer, there was an old looking piece of paper with something on it.

"Is that the Bow?" someone behind us asked.

"It is." Gadreel said and looked around. "This seems odd." He added and I knew what he meant. In the center of this room was Cupid's Bow. It seemed too easy to go up and take it. Who's to say that Metatron didn't booby-trap the room?

One of the angels was about to step in, when Gadreel held out his arm and stopped him. He glanced at him and judging by his facial expression, Gadreel had his scolding frown. There was no way that Gadreel would be reckless and he'd sure as hell never allow the others to be.

"We should throw something in besides ourselves." Gadreel said, sounding like a true leader, and someone stepped up, taking off their jacket and throwing it in. Just as suspected, glowing sigils appeared on the walls and the jacket burnt fast like it was flash paper that magicians would use in magic tricks.

As soon as the ashes of that jacket disappeared, the sigils vanished from sight.

"What can we do?" someone asked and Gadreel stood still, uncertain of what to do. He held up my pendulum and chanted my spell once again. This time, he was trying to find a sort of path. I guessed that he was thinking that not all of the room was guarded by these sigils.

I hoped he was right. If he was wrong, I had no idea what they could do to get to that Bow.

I watched as the pendulum swung and he followed it. He walked along the walls and came back, then gave the angels a slight smile.

"Stay close to the walls and keep throwing things inside in order to see the sigils. Then destroy them." He said and they did as he said. Soon, the booby-trap was gone and they retrieved the Bow.

Not too long after, Hannah came up to Gadreel with a map and he used the pendulum again. It swung and then landed on the map.

"I can take the Bow to her." she said and Gadreel nodded, giving the Bow to Hannah, then she was gone.

"Next, we find Castiel's grace." Gadreel said and the others seemed somewhat hopeless.

"That will not be an easy task." Someone said and Gadreel met their eyes.

"We will search all of Heaven without surrendering hope." He replied like a strong warrior. The angels obeyed and began searching.

I was so proud of Gadreel; two items of Metatron's spell down, the cooperation of the angels and the confidence of a leader. Most importantly, I knew he'd soon come back to me and I couldn't wait.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

I woke up as if sensing something and when I sat up and looked at the back seat, there he was, sitting there with that beautiful smile on his face. The inside of my car was dark, but I could still see him. Even if I couldn't, his voice was enough for me.

"I imagine you were there." He said and I grinned as I was about to reply. My mother sort of swerved the car and sighed.

"I'm driving here." She said and Gadreel let out a small laugh. "Welcome back." She said, her voice sounding softer.

"I was and I'm happy for you." I responded, staring at him.

The car was filled with silence, but I didn't mind. It only told me that he wanted to be with me. I no longer felt that dreaded heaviness where I believed I'd never be with Gadreel romantically. His kiss on my cheek, his drop-ins and seeing him in my dreams made me _know _that we would be, some day.

"Mom and I are on a vampire hunt." I said and I saw him glance at my mother and then back at me. It was hard to tell, but I thought he seemed worried. "I trained her." I said with a hint of pride in my voice and was pretty sure he was smiling.

"It's a nest." My mother added and that smile slowly faded.

"I should stay and help." He said and my heart sort of melted. I wanted to say yes, but I couldn't. It wouldn't be fair. Breaking Metatron's spell was part of his road to redemption and I couldn't take that from him. I wanted the angels to see that they were wrong about him all these years. I imagined Gadreel being the butt end of jokes for centuries and how that made him feel. I couldn't ask him to abandon his quest, even for a night or two. All of Heaven had to be put to shame for how they treated him. breaking Metatron's spell was the solution. Not me.

As much as I would have loved for him to stay in the car with us, I knew I had to let him go; to break Metatron's spell. Only then would we ever be together.

"You're almost finished the spell and the angels need your guidance. I see how they are around you; they'd be lost without you now." I said and I couldn't see his eyes clearly, but I was sure that they sparkled a little. "If I'm knee deep in trouble, you're the first I'll call on." I said and I heard my mother mumble "thanks a lot".

There was more silence, but I was certain that Gadreel wasn't disappointed, but proud of my selflessness. He probably knew that I was tempted by his offer, but was thinking of him first. Of Heaven and those lost souls.

"I'll be home soon." He said and vanished, leaving that sound echo in my ears. I couldn't help but smile and feel full of life and happiness. I never thought he'd say that. He considered being with me as home? Being in my mother's house as home? That made me feel like once Heaven was opened, he'd come back to me and stay with me always.

My mother glanced at me and grinned.

"What?" I asked with a grin of my own.

"Nothing, just thinking of what's it's going to be like as a grandmother one day." She replied and I started at her, slightly stunned.

"Mom!" I said and she let out a small laugh. I expected her to explain, but she just continued to grin. I brushed it off and returned to sleep. However, it was difficult; all I did was think of Gadreel and I having kids.

When the sun rose above the horizon, casting warm colors in the sky, I switched and drove as my mother slept. I had my music so low that I could just hear the music enough to know what songs were playing. During that time, I thought about Gadreel and our possible future together. It was hard to imagine kids, even though I could picture a small one running around, playing with Daddy Gadreel. I could imagine his bright smile.

Then I could imagine us watching them sleep at night after Daddy Gadreel read a bedtime story.

But all of that just faded as I counted all the monsters I had faced and killed; all the monsters that could be out there. I couldn't imagine us having children in such a cruel and dangerous world. I wouldn't want innocent children to be thrown into the life that I was living. It wouldn't be fair and if anything were to happen to them… it was too horrible to let myself imagine. Why would I want to?

No, if Gadreel and I were together, I think both of us would agree that having no children is the wisest choice. I didn't want to think about this and I sort of wished my mother hadn't said it.

However, I could imagine Gadreel and I _trying _to have kids…

I had to snap myself out of it because my heart was racing and I could feel my cheeks beginning to burn. I had to think about the hunt and the road. If I continued thinking of Gadreel that way, I'd end up driving off the road and into the ditch. Then I would have to explain myself to my mother and that meant lying. My mother would never believe that I tried to swerve away from a squirrel running across the highway.

I began thinking about the hunt and my mind naturally began forming images of my mother in danger. Should I cast a protection spell on her? Should I pray to the God and Goddess to watch over her? That seemed like a good idea.

In a soft whisper, I began praying to them.

"Please Hecate and Cernunnos; please keep my mother safe during this hunt. This is a first for her and I fear that I won't be able to protect her if anything should go wrong. And thanks for always being there for me." I said and remained silent for the rest of my drive, thinking mostly.

I looked at everything I was passing and thought of my first encounter with Gadreel up until now. I thought of my childhood with my mother and the couple of years I spent on my own; where I believed that she was the one who died. I thought of all the people that helped me become a decent hunter as well as all the things that I had hunted; saving people.

I had often thought of so many things while driving. I believed it kept me sane. Who knows, but my mind just couldn't go blank. That was reserved for when I was exhausted in all sense of the word.

After a few hours, my mother woke up and insisted we switched. I wasn't really tired, but I took the chance to write in my journal about Gadreel. When I was done, I also took out his and reread everything. I probably shouldn't have, but I couldn't help myself. The things he said about me were nothing short of amazing.

"Is he okay with you reading his journal?" she asked me and I glanced at her as if I was a child who got caught for sneaking cookies before dinner, which is what I did once around five years of age.

"Maybe." I said and she could hear the doubt in my voice. She shot me that motherly scolding glare and I realized that _that _was worst than the scold I got from Gadreel. I shrank a little in my seat, but justified myself.

"I love what he says about me."

Then, my mother softened her glare and looked back at the road. Apparently, that was all she needed to hear. I should have gone with that first…


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

We arrived at our little village plagued with vampires, although, by the sounds of the newspaper articles, you wouldn't know it. It made me wonder: how did Brennan know? It was probably through the good old hunter's grapevine.

My mother and I got a motel room and some food and once we were ready, we left and began searching for the vampire's nest. In order to do that, we needed to find the crime scene and try to follow the trail of bread crumbs. Or in this case, blood droplets.

"Believe me: it's harder than it sounds." I said to my mother and, judging by her expression, I didn't have to convince her.

"If they've done this their whole vampire life, than they'd be experts in covering their tracks." She replied and I nodded.

We went to _all_ the locations where bodies were found, which took most of our morning. We couldn't really find anything useful. We walked around the village and listened to what people had to say and, unfortunately, didn't hear anything useful.

"Why not ask?" My mother asked and I grinned at her.

"Ah, little grasshopper." I said and she shot me a glare. "Be unseen, not in scene." I added and she slowly withdrew her glare and looked at the people that were passing us by. Once no one was in earshot, she glanced at me and arched her eyebrow.

"Did you come up with that?" she asked me and it was my turn to shoot a glare.

"Hey, makes sense to me." I said and when she looked away, I grinned. "I get the hunt, get my information, do my job and leave. I like going in and coming out like a ghost." I added and watched as my mother just nodded her head.

"I guess that's the only way to evade the law." She said and I nodded my head.

"That, and I don't draw attention to myself." I said and my mother sort of glanced at me with a grin. Aw, my mother was proud of me.

I brought my mother to a little diner and we sat there, looking at the menu and listening to the people. I figured, I got a lucky break that last time, maybe I'd get it again. Only, I was quickly proven wrong: the people were silent. I was about to admit defeat and plan something else, but I soon realized why the people had gone quiet.

Slowly going down the main street, an Oldsmobile filled with people about my age was passing the diner and everyone was watching. Once the car was out of sight, the people began murmuring.

I looked up at my mother and held back a grin. I didn't have to strain my ears to hear what the people were saying; I knew that they didn't like those youngsters and, I was willing to bet they suspected them. Still, I paid attention because I wanted to hear if the people _blamed _them for the many strange deaths.

So far, I was out of luck. No one had a bright idea of who to suspect. They just didn't trust their own rebellious youths.

When my mother and I left to go back to the motel, it was awkward in my car because I could sense that she had something to say, but was hesitating. I expected her to just blurt it out, but I just waited and the suspense was killing me.

"What?" I asked and she sighed, like she was waiting for that.

"Why not do a spell to find whoever it is responsible for all this?" she asked and now it was my turn to sigh, but not out of relief. Where do I begin to explain?

"Because I don't know what or who it is I'm trying to find." I replied and I caught her raising her eyebrow in confusion. Clearly, I had to specify. "It's more difficult when it's a living and moving organism, especially if I've never met them. I need something that belongs to that person." I added and watched as she lowered her eyebrow as she nodded. "I'm a Wiccan Mom, not Harry Potter." I concluded with a bit more frustration than I had intended.

"Okay, geez. No need to get bitchy." My mother said and I glanced at her, not being able to fight against a grin forming on my lips.

Then, I had an idea.

"How far apart were the killings?" I asked her. My mother tried to think, but ended up pulling out my laptop and we researched it. "And I mean time, not distance." I specified and my mother typed again, not saying a word.

"Seems they were two nights apart." She said and we looked at the last one.

"Then, if things continue undisturbed, tonight blood shall flow." I said and caught my mother staring at me as if disgusted. "What?" I asked and she just shook her head. She didn't answer and I just grinned. "Too morbid?" I asked.

"You think?" she replied sarcastically.

Once we got to the motel, I began packing and planning for tonight and my mother just watched me, as if she still couldn't quite believe I was her daughter. I know that wasn't true; she knew it was me, but I guess she wasn't used to seeing me as a hunter.

Wait until she sees me in action!

"What are you doing?" she asked me and watched everything that I was taking out and placing in my bags. She noticed that it was all weapons and dark clothing. "Are you planning a stake out?" she asked me and I grinned when I looked at her.

"Not a stake out; a prowl." I corrected and she returned to looking disgusted.

"You're not waiting until these vampires actually kill someone, right?" she asked me and I just shrugged my shoulders and returned to packing everything. "Anne!" My mother shouted as if shocked. When I met her eyes, she didn't seem shocked, but she was expecting me to say no.

"If they do kill someone, there's not much I can do." I said and she maintained that expression. Apparently, my answer wasn't good enough. On the other hand, it was in the hunter world. You do what you can without getting yourself killed. That's about it.

When my mother seemed to expect me to reassure her, I just zipped up my bag and swung it over my shoulder.

"We need to get some blood from a corpse." I said and then my mother looked disgusted. Although it seemed like she brushed off the whole watching someone die, I knew she wouldn't ever. "I can try to protect a potential victim, but I can't jeopardize the hunt. I don't want to spook the nest and end up chasing it and losing it." I added and my mother's facial expression was a little hard to read at that point.

However, I knew she was coming to a sort of understanding. She would eventually tell herself that I had done this so many times that I must know what I'm doing. At least, that's what I hoped. I was probably right, but assuming doesn't make me so. For now, I was just going to do what I do best and let my mother help me. If it came between letting someone die and watching her daughter throw herself into danger, I knew she would go with door number one.

She'll soon see that sometimes, a hunter has to make a tough call.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

We got into the hospital after I broke the lock on the back door and quickly borrowed some medical equipment to pass as doctors. The back of the place was almost dead and, as long as we stayed to the old part of it, we were safe. I called it old because it was still the back of the hospital and looked untouched by new technologies. I didn't really see a camera anywhere.

The morgue was close by and that also seemed quite dead. And hopefully, full of it. We slipped in once we found a body that still seemed pretty… full, I made my mother keep watch as I stuck the many syringes into the corpse and drew out as much blood as I could.

Once I was done, we left behind our disguises and we made our way back before anyone could suspect us. I placed the blood in a bag, protected with clothes as best as I could and closed the trunk. I started the car and drove out. My mother glanced back and then at me.

"Is it always that easy?" she asked me and I grinned.

"No, but in a small town, I'm surprised they even had a lock on the back door." I replied and she relaxed a little in the passenger seat. Still, the fact that I broke into a hospital and stole some dead guy's blood seemed to bother her.

Good thing that she didn't know _everything _that I had done these past couple of years.

When it got darker, I left my car somewhere safe and, for further security, cast a protection spell on it. Once I was done, I glanced at my mother who had her arms crossed over her chest as she knitted her eyebrows at me.

"Really?" she asked me and I grinned. "Do I get the same treatment?" she added and I let out a small laugh.

"Hey, for the last couple of years, this car has taken me all over the country. I even thought it belonged to you." I said and she was about to say something, but then remembered that I had false memories for those years. "This is my baby." I added and then my mother rolled her eyes as she sighed.

"Can I get a protection spell too?" she asked me. I sighed and approached her, taking her hands into mine.

"Mighty Hecate, keep us safe; within your protective embrace; from the dangers of the night; keep us in your loving light. From the powers of three times three; as I will it; so mote it be." I said three times and when I released my mother's hands, she looked at me and then arched her eyebrows.

"That's it?" she asked and I let out a soft laugh. "Your car got more!" she added and I really laughed then.

"That little prayer never let me down." I said and she remained silent, as if she wasn't going to argue.

We began prowling and so far, all was quiet and cool. The dark skies showcased the stars and the breeze was light and chilled. I was fine in my long sleeve black shirt and dark jeans. My feet and back weren't yet sore, but my mother was already complaining. She lasted longer that I thought she would; I'll give her that. However, I knew she was used to this. I was preparing myself to hear endless complaints throughout the night. After all, I remembered my first times hunting being the same.

"Hey feet hurt." My mother said and I grinned at her. "Can't we just ask Gadreel to help?" she asked and I quickly shot down that idea. "Gadreel! Anne is out of her league!" she said and I smacked my mother. I probably shouldn't have, but it just happened. My mother laughed anyways, so she wasn't mad.

"Gadreel, ignore my mother. We're fine." I said and then I mumbled to myself, hoping that Gadreel could still hear me. "Miss you." I concluded and we continued walking.

After almost walking around half of the small town, there was an old shack that was even smaller than the one of those teenage girls that dealt away their souls. Not too far from there, we could hear slight noises. We jogged as silently as we could and when we got closer, the noises faded and never started up again.

I didn't glance at my mother. Something told me someone just died and I didn't want to know how she would look at me.

I secured a syringe of dead man's blood in the back of my jeans and jogged forward. Eventually, I saw two guys lingering over something and there was that familiar sickening wet sucking sound. Bingo! I've found my vampires.

"Stay low." I whispered and heard movement slightly behind me. My mother was leaving me to lure the vampires towards me so she could be my backup.

"Does anyone need help?" I asked, making myself sound as girly as I could manage. The two men slowly turned towards me and hesitated. Bu the one closer to me began approaching. I knew my mother was out of sight. "I can call the cops for you if you need help." I said, maintaining that girly tone of voice.

"My friend just had too much to drink." He said and all that was going through my mind was: is that a pun?

"Having a party?" I asked with a slight giggle and he let out a chuckle too.

"You could say that." He replied. "Wanna join us?" he asked and now I knew how to play this.

"I'd like to, but I have to get back to my boyfriend." I said and he chuckled again. He approached slowly and I began backing away just as slowly.

"Where is he?" he asked and I giggled again.

"I don't really know." I replied, sounding a little unnerved and assuring him that I was beginning to fear him. Of course, that was what I wanted him to think: I was the dumb one to die first if this was a horror movie.

"Why don't you stay with us?" he asked and I made myself not only sound more scared and panicked, but look like it in my movements.

"I think I should go." I said and turned, running as fast as I could. I know vampires are quicker, but I had to be realistic. Not only that, but I had to make sure that both vampires would chase me and run past my mother so if she came out, she'd be behind us. That way, I can deal with the one that tried to lure me and my mother, the other.

Just before that vampire could close in on me, I spun, making it look like I was horrified, when I was really reaching for the syringe in the back of my jeans. I was also checking on the other vampire and when things were good, I stabbed my vampire and pushed the plunger.

My mother also came out, surprising the other vampire and she got him with her syringe too.

Soon, both were down and weak. We dragged them to the little shack not too far away and chained them so they couldn't go anywhere. They were so weak and I was confident that they weren't going to regain their strength any time soon.

"Now, where is your nest?" I asked as I grinned at our two weaken vampires, chained and unable to do a damned thing to stop us.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

I had to torture to the best of my knowledge which included sharp objects and UV light. I didn't stop until they bled and burnt badly, leaving them screaming in a blood curdling manner. They weren't talking and we had already spent an hour; getting nowhere

"Where is the nest?" I asked and one spit a gob of their blood at me. Of course, had it been on my face, I would have killed them, just because I got so wrapped up in my episode of brutality.

I glared at him and curled back my lips.

"Is that how you answer?" I asked the other one, the one that tried to lure me, let out a chuckle.

"Oh, honey, you're never going to see it because we ain't talking." he said. Then, I grinned.

"I wouldn't be so sure, if I were you." I said and began a truth spell. It would be a little tricky without the candles and stuff, but the incantation alone would suffice. In continued until I could feel that familiar sense and then asked again.

"A house on the other side of the tracks, on the south side of town." My vampire said and then seemed stunned. However, he quickly glared at me and began cursing at me. I turned to my mother with a gloating smile and she just shook her head.

"Should have started with that." She said and I rolled my eyes.

"That wouldn't have been any fun." I said and crossed my arms over my chest. "Plus, it took a lot of time to practice that spell, so it demands a lot of concentration even if I nailed it." I added and pumped more dead man's blood into the vampires before letting them go.

"You aren't going to kill them?" my mother asked me as I left the little shack. She followed me and repeated the question as well as adding to it. "We know the location, so why let them go there? They're just going to warn them."

I went back to where my mother left our bags and took out a long and strong knife. Only then did my mother's questions fall silent.

"You could have just said so." She said and I sighed.

"Where's the fun in that?" I asked and now she sighed.

"I think you enjoy this too much." She said and I let out a small laugh. I couldn't really deny that. "I think Gadreel should –" she began and I shot her a glare.

"Heaven needs him more than I do at the moment." I said and, although my words didn't say it, my tone of voice did. I missed him and I wanted him to come back, but I knew Heaven was more important than me.

I returned and killed those vampires and got all of our stuff and walked back to my car. I was pretty covered in blood, but I covered up so none of it would get in my car. My mother got in, shivered a little, and sighed as she glanced at me.

"You're going to the nest right now, aren't you?" she asked and I glanced at her with a grin.

"The faster we do this, the sooner we can get out of this town and sleep." I said and my mother sighed again, but nodded. "The faster I can dream of Gadreel." I said and caught a smile broaden on her lips.

We drove to that location and then I had turned off the ignition, letting the car roll to a stop in silence. We had enough dead man's blood, but the problem was just how much vampires we were facing.

We got out of the car and I glanced at my mother as we walked around to the front of my car.

"They'll smell us as we approach." I said and my mother looked a little panicked at that moment. "No worries, we'll be okay." I said and she didn't seem convinced.

"Just going to go in there, knife and blood blazing?" she asked me and I thought about that Bon Jovi song, which made me smile. However, my mother stared at me oddly.

"Yup." I replied and just walked up to the place. It was a not so bad house. If it had been fixed up, it would have looked nice. I didn't see any movement, until the front door creaked opened. I stopped and remained still and my mother joined me.

"I'm calling Gadreel." She said and I shushed her. I was beginning to think that she volunteered on this hunt only to watch over me and pray for Gadreel to rush in and rescue me at the small sign of danger… or a broken nail.

There was no more movement and I knew it was an invitation. They knew what I was, somehow… and they were waiting.

I began approaching the house and was very cautious. Suddenly, all these vampires rushed out of everywhere and we were surrounded. My mother and I were back-to-back, looking at all the vampires. There was an easy dozen and most of them were sniffing the air and glaring at me.

Oh shit, they could smell the blood of the vampires that I had killed earlier.

"Now would be a good time to call Gadreel." My mother whispered and I elbowed her. I knew we could handle this and whispered a prayer to Gadreel, telling him to ignore my mother.

"We're fine. Heaven's more important." I said and looked at the vampires. "It's more important than me." I said softly, as if it was a strange independent thought that found its way to my lips without my knowing it.

One vampire stepped out and I knew he was the leader of the nest. However, there was only one that looked at him and her facial expression didn't tell me that she looked up to him. It seemed more to me like she stared at him with disdain.

"You think you can come here and kill us?" the vampire said and laughed. "You're out numbered and out skilled." He added and the other males laughed. I glanced around and noticed that the females just watched us, expressions blank. I had never seen a vampire nest before, but I was thinking that this was normal.

"You killed people and didn't think hunters would be on your ass?" I asked him and he grinned at me, glancing at the other males, then back at me.

"Oh wow, two hunters. We're in trouble." He said and the males all laughed.

At that moment, the female that looked at the leader with contempt launched at him and all the females followed her example.

I watched the madness and realized what was happening: the vampires were turning on each other and not just that; the females versus the males. It was a power struggle of the sexes gone to battle.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

My mother and I quickly joined in and when one of the females injected a male with a syringe of dead man's blood, it was only then that I knew what was really going on. I helped her kill the male and we both set off and helped the other females.

Soon, we only had the leader on his back, weak due to dead man's blood. I looked at the leading female and I could see strength in her eyes. She was waiting for this moment for a long time.

"Women…" the vampire said, glancing around at all the women lingering around him, staring at him like they wanted to torture the Hell out of him.

"Finish that sentence and I stick more dead man's blood in you." The leading female said and looked up at me. "Strange turn of events, isn't it?" she asked me and I gave her a soft smile as I nodded.

"Story of my life." I replied and the vampires grinned at me. Then the leading female looked serious and the weakened male was dragged into the house behind me.

"I hope that this means you'll let us go." She said and they glanced at my mother uneasily and back at me, looking a little more hopeful. Apparently, they felt that I was more agreeable. I met all of their eyes and considered everything that I wanted to say, and then I looked back at the leading female.

"I take it you don't feed on human blood." I said and she quickly confirmed it.

"Our nest was small and, frankly, weak." She said and glanced at the others as if implying "no offense", then glanced back at me. "We invited another small nest to join us, but quickly learnt our error. They had no regard for humans and our rules.

"For a long time, they ruined our nest and took advantage of us. I've wanted them dead for years and your arrival was too perfect to pass up." She said and the others nodded with enthusiasm. I glanced at all of them and then at my mother who was now beside me. I looked back at the leading female and saw the hope in her eyes.

"As a hunter, I've come to see the world in shades of grey. I know a good being when I see one; so yes, I'm letting you go." I said and saw them relax with relief. "But you need to know that I wasn't the only hunter to know of what was going on in this town." I said and saw the worry slowly creep back into their faces. "I was sent here, so, naturally, if anyone asks me, I killed all of you." I said and they let out small laughs as the relief came back.

The leading female stepped up and held out her hand.

"Thank you." She said and I took her hand, shaking it firmly.

"Don't thank me just yet." I said and they all watched me like hawks. "I suggest you quickly get out of here, lay low and move around as often as you can." I added and she gave me a soft smile and nodded her head.

"You bet." She said and when she released my hand, continued to stare at me while the others went back to the house. I imagined they were going to torture the one that ruined their nest. Heck, I couldn't blame them.

"Glad we could help." I said and she smiled. For the first time tonight, I didn't think of the word "vampire". She seemed like another human to me. Then I thought about her human life and how this must be what she was like. It made me smile.

"I wish I could meet more hunters like you." She said and I let out a small laugh.

"Not to be a downer, but I don't think you'd get many." I said and she let out a small laugh too, then she smiled at my mother and walked around us, up to the house.

I glanced at my mother and we made our way back to the car in silence. We got in, my mother asked for the keys, started the engine and we drove out, looking back with smiles on our faces.

"Does that happen often?" my mother asked me and I let out a small laugh.

"Not really, but lately, I've been looking at the world in –" I began.

"In shades of grey." My mother said and glanced at me, as if proud of that very fact. I nodded and repeated the words.

We were silent as we drove down the road, but suddenly, I had to urge to look in the backseat.

There, I saw a silhouette and when it sat forward, grinned.

"Gadreel, what are you doing?" I asked and then glanced at my mother, thinking back to all the times she wanted to call him for help.

"I came on my own." He said, his voice smooth. He knew I was accusing my mother. "I couldn't stay. I tried. Believe me, Anne; I did, but I couldn't bear the thought that something could happen to you." He said and I glanced back at him with a gentle smile.

"Nothing you couldn't fix." I said and he started at me like I was missing the point. I know that's not what I should have said, but it sounded alright in my head. "How is it going in Heaven?" I asked him and he continued to stare at me oddly.

"Difficult. Castiel's grace is not easy to find, but we shall manage." He said and remained silent.

"You'll find it." I said and looked back at the road ahead. I was certain that he'd disappear, but I felt his warmth creep up on me like fog, especially by the side of my head.

"You were wrong earlier." He whispered softly into my ear. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of his breath and the sound of his voice flooding my ear. It was like a soft melody. "It isn't." he said just as softly and then I heard the sound of flapping wings.

I let that feeling linger and when the moment had passed, I opened my eyes, trying to make sense of what he had said to me.

I was wrong earlier? It isn't? What was he talking about?

"What did he say?" my mother asked me and I found it odd that, even if he whispered, she didn't hear him. My radio wasn't even on! Did she really not hear him or was she just trying to get me to talk about it?

"I'm not sure yet." I said, sounding a little dazed.

I continued to repeat his words into my head and then traced back to the moments that my mother was attempting to speak to him. Then it hit me: the last time my mother tried to call him, I prayed to him to ignore her. I said that Heaven was more important than me. That's what he was referring to.

He was saying that Heaven _wasn't _more important than me.

That and the whole whispering in my ear made me shrink into my seat like I was melting butter. I felt so happy and love struck, light headed and giddy. Any word that describes being in love; that was me at that moment.

Gadreel loved me.

As much as I wanted to twirl around in a field of flowers like a total girly girl, part of me wanted to shout "it's about fucking time!"

I thought back to the beginning. Going to see the body on the road and checking it for fatal injuries. Then, how I was staring at him; clearly attracted to him from that very moment. All the times we were together and I started at him, taking notice of his fabulous body. The modeling of secondhand clothing and staring at him again, biting my lower lip.

The time he saw me without my jeans on, which I don't regret. The times we sat close to each other and rolled around in the dirt, training.

Then, of course, the times I told myself that we'd never be together.

I was wrong. I had fallen in love with him from the first moment I set eyes on him; I just didn't know it. And now, he was falling for me too. It just made me wonder if it was the same for him. Did he love me from the beginning as well and just didn't know it or was it only now that he was falling in love?

Did it really matter?

Gadreel loved me.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

We went to the motel and I decided it was safe for us to stay there and sleep. My mother quickly collapsed onto her bed and I preformed my dream spell so I could see Gadreel.

I crawled into bed and held on tightly to his journal and prayed to fall fast asleep. I refused to open my eyes because I knew that would delay falling asleep. I thought of him and all our wonderful moments together.

Eventually, I slipped into darkness and quickly saw the angels gather around and wait as Gadreel came into view. I felt like I was right in front of the crowd, right in front of Gadreel. I felt so happy. Oh God, how I love him. He was so gorgeous, but he was so gentle and caring. He seemed a little fragile, but he was so strong. He was unlike anyone I have ever met and I thanked the Wiccan God and Goddess, as well as _all _deities of _all _religions that we were destined to meet. I feel so blessed.

"We searched everywhere!" an angel said and Gadreel shot a cold glare in the direction of the voice.

"We will not surrender." He said and I felt like cheering him on, I was so proud of him. "You will all search again." he added and the crowd began murmuring.

Hannah stepped forward and seemed a little worried.

"And what will you do?" she asked and everyone fell silent, waiting for his answer.

"I'll speak to Metatron." He replied and the angels up roared in a protest. However, Gadreel seemed determined to do this whether they liked it or not.

"He can't be trusted." Hannah said and Gadreel maintained his determined expression. He meant business and, although he seemed to appreciate Hannah's concern, he could have done without it.

"He'll speak, if I have something he wants." He said and the angels didn't seem to understand. Hell, I didn't even understand. On the other hand, I knew Gadreel knew what he was doing and I didn't question it too much.

Gadreel walked away and it felt like I was on a moving mat, gliding behind him. The angels all walked away and I knew they'd do as Gadreel said. Following him, I could see his confidence in his movements, in the way he stalked down corridors.

The walk was never ending and I tried to talk to Gadreel, but it was like no sound was coming out of my mouth. Apparently, my spell only allowed me to see and not be in scene, as I would say.

Then, Gadreel turned down one corridor and stopped. I stopped behind him and knew why: it was long and dark. It was worst than anything horror movie could ever depict and no words could really describe it. It just made you not want to go down there.

Gadreel began walking down the corridor and then pushed through the door once he got to the end. Inside, where prison cells. Now it made sense. Gadreel was reluctant to get here because he spent most of his existence here. I couldn't blame him and I certainly didn't see him as weak or fragile. He was strong to come back here.

He walked up to a cell and a man sitting on the floor with his knees up, his back to the wall of his cell and his head resting on his arms that were propped on his knees looked up at Gadreel looking drained. Not only that, but he seemed like the fifty year old virgin.

Then, his face paled and he stared at Gadreel like he was a ghost.

"Gadreel?" he asked.

"You seem surprised." He replied coldly and I grinned as Metatron got up slowly, still gawking at Gadreel. I could have laughed, if only I wasn't mute.

"You died." He said and Gadreel let out a small and cold laugh. I hadn't heard that from him before and, even though it sent a slight chill down my spine, I was still proud of him. He was confronting the one that took advantage of him.

"I was resurrected." He replied and then paused. "Seems God hasn't abandoned us." He added and the words to seem to weigh on Metatron. It was Gadreel's tone of voice that did it. It wasn't like him, but I knew he was speaking with disdain and a sort of satisfaction to prove the angel wrong. I admired Gadreel for being so strong. When I first met him, he blamed himself. Now, he seemed to believe that God brought him back. I wasn't about to argue that.

After a few seconds, Metatron seemed to compose himself and he stood there like he was unharmed. He put his hands behind his back and just stared at Gadreel. I was expecting him to go all Hannibal Lecter.

"What brings you here?" Metatron asked. "Come to tell me the error of my ways?" he asked and then narrowed his eyes. "Forget it. I've spent eons being cheated out of what I deserved and I don't regret what I did." He added and gave a creepy smile.

"You failed." Gadreel reminded him and his smile vanished and his eyes became cold.

"Only because the two that screwed up so many times and wanted to fix their mistakes just continued to screw up." He replied and I felt like cursing at him. I tried, but I remained mute.

"You never cease to blame everyone else." Gadreel said and I smiled at him. If I could, I would have cheered him on again.

"Naomi kicked me out of my home!" Metatron shouted.

"And she's dead!" Gadreel shouted in return, which stunned Metatron into silence. "You screwed up." He added and I felt like screaming the word "burn" at the angel in the cell. Then, Metatron seemed like a pouting child and I realized I was wrong about something: when Gadreel made that pouty expression, that was attractive compared to Metatron's version.

"Why are you here?" he asked Gadreel. Then, that creepy smile slowly broadened in his lips and he narrowed his eyes at Gadreel. "You want to undo my spell, don't you?" he asked and began laughing. "You think I'll help?" he asked and laughed even more.

Gadreel just stood there and didn't say a word, but his body language told me that he was just waiting for the right time to burst Metatron's bubble.

"You'll never succeed." The angel said and continued to laugh. "You think this will put you back in God's good graces? Keep dreaming." He added and laughed again.

I glanced at Gadreel and wanted to tell him to just crush Metatron's bubble in his hands.

Then, something just appeared in Gadreel's hands and when I glanced down, they were books. once Metatron stopped laughing so he could wipe his eyes, Gadreel held the books up in his arms to make them more visible. Once the angel noticed them, he froze and slowly lifted his eyes from the books to Gadreel.

"I doubt you've read these." Gadreel said and read out the authors and the titles. I didn't recognize any of them. "New releases." He added and Metatron seemed on the verge of drooling.

Now it made sense. Gadreel was tormenting Metatron with his weakness: literature. So the angel was a book worm. I thought for sure he'd be disgusted with the stories humans created, but I guess one could argue that according to him, that's the only thing we did right.

"I've been waiting for those." Metatron mumbled to himself and approached the bars of his cell, as if getting closer to those books was too much to fight.

"Where did you put Castiel's grace?" Gadreel asked him and Metatron continued to gawk at those books, but the question seemed to sink in and he looked up at Gadreel, giving that creepy smile.

"I'll never tell." He said and Gadreel lowered the books and stepped back. Metatron quickly gripped the bars and stared at those books like an addict going through withdrawal.

"Then you'll never read again." Gadreel said and the angel glared at him, but looked back at those books as if saddened and desperate. "I heard these would be at the top of the best sellers' list." Gadreel added and looked at the books. "What a shame you won't be able to read them." He said and I grinned. I had never really seen this side of him before and I was wondering where he picked this up from.

Way to go Gadreel!


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

It was working. Gadreel was driving Metatron crazy with just a few books. This angel thought his spell was still standing, untouched even. However, Gadreel was keeping vital information from him and not denying anything. The less Metatron knew, the better.

"Where is Castiel's grace?" Gadreel asked as he cracked one book open and began reading. That alone got the angel to grip the bars and reach out. Aw, so close, yet so far away…

"Give me at least one book." Metatron said and licked his lips as if they were dry.

"Tell me first." Gadreel said, not taking his eyes off his the pages of the book. That was killing Metatron. He seemed to consider it, but he really didn't want to give in. However, he really wanted those books…

Gadreel turned the page and made a sort of hum.

"This is interesting." He said and Metatron began stretching his arm out even more, as if it would grow like Pinocchio's nose.

"Give me the book." He said through clenched teeth.

"Tell me what I want to know or I beginning telling you how this book begins." He said and flipped the page. When Metatron remained defiantly silent, Gadreel lifted his eyes to him and his stare was cold. Then, there was a ripping sound and Metatron gasped.

Gadreel was ripping the page.

"Tell me or I'll rip some pages out." he said and Metatron seemed horrified. Gadreel finally found the right thing to hook Metatron and to wheel him in.

"You're bluffing." The angel said and to prove him wrong, Gadreel ripped the entire page out and let it fall to the ground. Then he began ripping another page. "Stop." Metatron said and Gadreel continued ripping.

It was torture like none other and Metatron was losing it.

"Stop tearing the pages!" he shouted and I wanted to laugh. "Why must you destroy such a delicate treasure?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly and looking so incredibly sad.

"Tell me where is Castiel's grace and I shall stop." Gadreel said and continued slowly ripping the pages. Metatron closed his eyes tightly and clenched his jaw, but he couldn't fight it.

"In my old study where I wrote down the Word of God long ago." He said and Gadreel closed the book and stood tall; satisfied and quite proud. When Metatron glared at him, he quickly looked at the books and seemed like he was about to drool again. "Now give me the books." he said and within a blink of an eye, the books disappeared as well as the pages Gadreel tore out. The angel was mortified.

Gadreel approached the cell and his eyes were so cold that the angel behind the bars shrank away and retreated to his wall.

"You shall know what it was like to spend all this time in this cell, alone and forgotten. You shall know what it was like to be the one every angel definition of failure and of mistakes. You shall know what it was like to be Heaven's largest joke and disgrace.

"You shall feel the shame and disgust that has filled this cell and if you should ever be free, you'll forever be haunted and tormented. You'll never be lucky enough to find someone who can take that all away from you as if it was never there.

"You'll remain in this cell to rot and if the end of the world should ever come, you will die in this cell and forever be forgotten… like you never existed." Gadreel said and then approached the bars, making Metatron shrink against the wall and down to the floor like we had found him. "You shall know how I felt and I have no pity for you. You wanted to regain your home so badly. Well, smile Metatron; you're home." He concluded and walked away.

Naturally, I followed him like I was earlier and all I wanted to do was praise him like crazy.

That's when I jolted up in bed, clutching Gadreel's journal so tight that when I released my grip, my fingers hurt and were slow to stretch out. For the moment, it looked like I had creepy claws for fingers.

I looked around and everything was alright. Then I laid back in bed with a smile on my face.

"Gadreel," I began, closing my eyes and remembering everything. "I'm so proud of you and I wanted so badly to cheer you on and praise you. I'm very impressed and I wish that all the angels could have seen you.

"I knew you could do it and I wanted to let you know that I'm very proud of your improvement as well as your accomplishments.

"You're also there and I know you can do it." I said and placed his journal on the nightstand next to my bed. I was drifting off to sleep with a smile on my face. In the morning, I was going to write down everything in my journal. This was never going to be forgotten. I just hope that I can remember all of his words to Metatron.

When I opened my eyes again, it was morning and my mother saw slowly getting out of bed and making her way to the bathroom. I got out as fast as I could and tried to remember everything. all I had to do was start writing and I was certain it would all come flooding back to me.

Sure enough, as I wrote in my journal, I wrote down everything. The only thing that I hadn't quite remembered was Gadreel's speech to Metatron. However, I wrote the message in those words and how proud I was of him for saying them.

By time my mother got out, I was finishing and then I told her everything. She seemed just as proud as me. She smiled and laughed, especially at the part where he tore pages out of one of the books.

"Clever." She said and began picking out clean clothes and packing at the same time.

"I wish you could have seen him." I said and he let out a small laugh.

"What's important is that you did." She said and smiled at me softly. "Ever since you started your dream spells, you haven't been gloomy or bitchy." She added and I couldn't help but grin. "Don't deny love, sweetie. It hurts more than you think." She concluded and went to change her clothes.

I considered her words and my mind went back to high school. The whole time I thought that if I don't admit that I like a guy, it wouldn't hurt if it never happened between us. When I did that with Gadreel, it hurt even more than if I would have admitted it and stay on a friendship level.

My mother was right.

But most importantly, I sort of found it out for myself before she told me. I had already admitted to myself that I loved him and I was certain that the feeling was mutual.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

We were going back home. There weren't any hunts on our horizon and with Gadreel's breaking spell almost complete; my mother figured home was the place to wait for the man I loved. The drive back home would be a long one, but I was counting down the days!

During the day, my mother and I talked and laughed like we used to. We talked about all sorts of things and, yes, most of the time it was about Gadreel. I wasn't hiding my feelings anymore and I felt so free. Yet, part of me wanted to kick myself because that part still expected my heart to be broken.

At this point, Gadreel could remain in Heaven and I'd still love him. I think I finally understood that old saying: it's better to love and lost than to never love at all. If my heart was to break due to that wonderful angel, I'd be okay. Mind you, no other man would ever be able to compare.

Then, during the night, I cast my dream spell and watched Gadreel order the angels and search throughout Metatron's old study. When I looked around, I felt like screaming. It was full of books and they were piled all over. It made Metatron look like a hoarder if not worst!

"This must be his collection from his life on Earth." Gadreel said and the angels glanced at him, stunned.

"He said Castiel's grace was in this office. How do we not know it's hidden inthese books?" Hannah asked and I pitied the angels. What a mess to go through.

"Surely, it can't be." Another angel said and the others all looked at Gadreel for direction. I don't think he believed it was hidden in the books, but he had to start somewhere.

"Let's not waste time." Gadreel replied and picked up a book, opening it and turning some pages. I didn't see how an angel's grace could be stored away in books, but I knew Gadreel would figure it out.

Hannah walked up to Gadreel and she seemed worried.

"How can we possibly know what to do." she said and he glanced up as if he was thinking. "You are thinking of asking Anne Cromwell for help." She said and the way she said it and looked at Gadreel; it was like she wasn't very impressed.

When Gadreel met her gaze, he frowned as if that angered him. He looked at Hannah like he did me when he thought I was prostituting myself. I couldn't help but smile. I didn't like Hannah.

"Why do you involve her in this matter?" she asked and Gadreel stood firm and took a small step forward. She got the message, but wasn't backing down… the bitch. "She's a human." She added and before she could add more, Gadreel spoke softly to her, but his tone was sharp and cold.

"Need I remind you that _I _was recently human?" he asked her and she remained silent, lowering her eyes. "Anne has helped me more than you could ever know and I trust her. If there is something I know little about; she is the person I shall always seek to help me." he added and gave Hannah the book and looked up at all the angels who searched through every book and objects around the room.

He took out the pendulum and chanted the spell that I gave him. Hannah watched him and looked through the book that Gadreel handed her.

I watched him, seeing the pendulum swing, but there were so many things in the way and he had angels move them so he could properly locate. Still, it seemed like there were just so many things and the pendulum couldn't zone in like it should.

After several minutes getting nowhere, Gadreel placed it back in his pocket and search on his own. I stood by him and looked at every book he picked up.

There was one that caught my attention. It was Mary Shelley's _Frankenstein_, also known as the Modern Prometheus, and it sort of surprised me. Most of Metatron's books were classics that I never cared to read or was forced to in high school. What would a pretty good book like that be doing here?

When Gadreel picked it up next, I felt like cheering.

The cover seemed weird and when he opened it and flipped through a few pages, I noticed blank spaces. He noticed too and actually seemed to be reading. So was I at that point. Then, I realized what was supposed to be in those blank spaces: a character.

Once I figured that much, after a few more pages, I realized the character was supposed to be the doctor Victor Frankenstein. I couldn't say anything in my state and really wished I could. Poor Gadreel had never read this book beforehand and didn't know what character was missing.

"We can't find Castiel's grace." One angel said and Hannah approached Gadreel.

"Has anyone seen something strange in the books?" he asked glancing over his shoulder and got no response. Apparently, the other books were either alright or the angels didn't really know.

"Are you sure he said this study?" she asked and he looked at the book a little longer, then turned and glared at Hannah. She was getting on his nerves and if she continued, she might just receive his rage. In a way, I wanted to see what he looked like when angry and I was glad it was directed towards her.

He shoved the book into her chest and when she took it, trying to brush off her shock, she looked at the book like she didn't know what to do with it.

"As you can see, Castiel's grace isn't here or in these books. However, the protagonist in this book is missing. I shall take this matter to someone who can help to identify the missing character." He said and his eyes narrowed on her. "I trust you can figure out that when Metatron said it was here, that he wasn't telling the exact truth." he replied and before Hannah could let a sound out of her mouth, I snapped my eyes opened and glanced around the car. I sat up in my seat and looked in the back.

Gadreel sat forward and cleared his throat softly.

"Hello Gadreel." My mother said with a small smile. "Thanks for not scaring the crap out of me this time." she added and I grinned. I tried to get as close to Gadreel as I could and I could sense that he was worried.

"So, you know what's going on?" I asked him and he hesitated.

"Not really." He replied and then I was a little confused. The last thing he said to Hannah made it sound like he knew what was going on. Yet, he didn't? "You saw the book?" he asked me and I smiled.

"Doctor Victor Frankenstein." I replied and he nodded.

"I'm not sure why he is missing from his book." He said and then I just stared at him. For some reason, that sentence made me think of something a little… insane.

"Can grace do the impossible?" I asked him, now the question sounded a little redundant.

"Yes." He replied and then I was preparing myself for another stupid question.

"Is it possible that Metatron made the character real?" I asked him and he titled his head at me. "It might explain why the doctor's name is missing from the book. Plus, every item he used for his spell, he made it more difficult for you to get back." I added and then wondered myself exactly where I was going with this.

"Yes?" he asked me as if the suspense was annoying him.

"Well, wouldn't it be very difficult for you if the grace was with this character that is now corporal?" I asked. Gadreel was silent and when I glanced at my mother, she had her eyebrows knit together. Maybe I was totally off, but it was the first thing that I could think of.

"Metatron is a little eccentric." Gadreel replied and my mother let out a sort of awkward laugh. Then, and slowly, Gadreel smiled. "It would be difficult, yes, but Metatron never counted on a clever Wiccan to help me." he replied and I couldn't resist smiling like an idiot. "Is there a way to verify that?" he asked me and I considered it.

"Do you still have my pendulum?" I asked him.


	43. Chapter 43

Thank you Naomi for letting me know that I missed a mistake. I fixed it!

Thanks everyone for reviews!

Chapter 43

Gadreel quickly took out my pendulum from his jacket pocket and placed it in the palm of my hand.

"I could get an image of Victor Frankenstein and try to locate him, if my theory is correct." I said.

My mother pulled over so I could unfold and place the map of the country on the hood of my car. Gadreel held it down as my mother shined a flashlight over it so I could see. I borrowed my mother's iPhone and got an illustration of Victor Frankenstein and my pendulum began swinging over the map once I cast my finding spell.

The pendulum swung and I could feel nothing. I picked it up in my palm and both my mother and Gadreel glanced at me, uncertain.

"I have a map of the world in my trunk." I said and my mother arched an eyebrow at me. "I couldn't get myself to throw it out." I added and she went to get it. Once she did, I placed it on the hood of my car and did the spell again.

Soon, it landed on London, England. How typical. However, I needed a spell to prove that I was right. Still, part of me wondered just how a crazy guess was right all along. How could I have guessed it and get it right?

I was sort of stunned, but Gadreel snapped me out of it.

"The story takes place in London." He said, as if waiting for me to confirm it. I looked up at him and nodded. "I don't know his story, how can I catch him and take back Castiel's grace?" he asked me and I could see the worry in his eyes.

"I'm not saying you have to read the book." I said and when he met my eyes, he grinned.

"The Internet." He said and I smiled.

"Read the character analysis and summary That's all." I said and I handed my pendulum back to him because I knew he'd have to zone in once again on the doctor. He hesitated, but took it and placed it back in his jacket pocket.

"Thank you, once again, Anne." He said and just stared at me. Maybe he was now asking himself how my crazy idea actually turned out to be accurate. It was scary just how I nailed it.

Other than that, I knew he didn't want to leave just yet, but this final task weigh on us all and we both knew that it had to be done so we could finally be together. However, he surprised me when he approached me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"I promise, once this is done, I'll make it up to you." He said and slid his hands down my arms to my hands where he held them for a brief moment. We stared into each others' eyes and I thought for sure he'd lean in and kiss my lips, but then he was gone.

I stood there a few seconds longer like an idiot and snapped out of it when my mother placed her hand gently on my shoulder. Maybe she knew just how much I longed for that kiss…

We got back into the car and we were back on the road. I performed the dream spell again so I could continue to watch Gadreel. Because I felt like he was going to kiss me, all I wanted to do was keep my eyes on him. It was a sort of hunger that I couldn't seem to satisfy.

I returned to the whole being there, but gliding around and being voiceless. The angels continued to search the study even if they came to the conclusion that Castiel's grace wasn't there. Hannah approached and waited for Gadreel to deliver an update.

"We must go to London, England." He said and Hannah frowned, confused. He ignored her expression and continued. "Some must stay behind in case something happens. Keep a watchful eye on Metatron. I shall go to London and take some of you with me." he added and, without questions, although her expression said she had many, Hannah stood by him.

"You have found Castiel's grace?" one of the angels asked him and he did that pouty expression.

"I found someone who has it." he replied and they were confused. He had to explain everything to them and once they were all up to date, he disappeared and I followed him. We were standing in the middle of a street and the sun was hidden behind grey clouds.

I glanced around and saw a lot of buildings that looked old. We were in London, England and the angels followed Gadreel down the street. He looked at the buildings and eventually, walked into one. He quickly came back out with a map and made the angels hold it for him.

He took out my pendulum and cast my spell. I watched as the pendulum touched a location on the map. I didn't see it clearly, but knew Gadreel knew what he was doing.

"With Castiel's grace, we must assume that Victor Frankenstein is dangerous. For all we know, he could have the grace within himself." He added and the angels seemed a little surprised, but nodded.

"We could use Enochian Sigils." One of them had said and Gadreel met his eyes and he clenched his jaw.

"Or kill him with an Angel blade." Gadreel said and they seemed more than surprised now. But, there was a slight sadness in Gadreel's eyes. "The only way to remove grace is when the body and soul are apart for that brief moment after death." He said and then I understood. He was remembering my death. Although I'm alive, I knew at that moment that his memories of my death will haunt him.

He'll forever remember that I killed myself for him and that, if he couldn't have resurrected me, he would have lost me.

"Are you certain?" the angels asked him and when he lifted his eyes at them, he narrowed them.

"Only Archangels can remove grace without death." He replied and they ceased with the questions. They followed him as they made their way to Victor Frankenstein.

I never said it directly, but I thought that Victor Frankenstein had Castiel's grace in him like I had Gadreel's in me. It made me question Metatron's sanity and encouraged my joy that he's locked up in that prison.

My mind went back to what Gadreel told me: that Metatron didn't expect for Gadreel to have help, to have me. Since the night I met him, all I wanted to do was help him. I even killed myself to do so. Maybe what he really meant is that Metatron would never imagine a human being so devoted to Gadreel.

Maybe my devotion is what made Gadreel consider me his saving grace.

As I followed him through the streets of London, I knew he'd end this and return to me. I just wondered how he would make it up to me. What did he mean?

At that moment, I was woken up and when I blinked several times, I looked at the morning light just coming over the horizon and my mother smiling at me.

"Time to switch, sweetie." She said, as if she would have loved to let me stay asleep. However, she looked exhausted and I knew I had to get behind the wheel. I'll see Gadreel later.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

We were a little closer to home and all throughout my drive, I thought of Gadreel and prayed that everything would go alright. If Victor Frankenstein did have Castiel's grace, I wondered if it was locked away in him like Gadreel's was in me or if he had access to it. If he did, he was just as dangerous as Gadreel warned.

He would be able to do anything that Gadreel could and I began to worry, imagining the worst possible. What if I lost Gadreel? I wouldn't be able to bring him back. I didn't feel like I had the magic to do it and… I just couldn't think of it. _I wouldn't be able_ to bring him back if I lost him. That thought was a nightmare I hoped to never have.

What would I do without him?

So, naturally, I began thinking about what I could do to protect him. All I had were spells and I wondered if they were strong enough to work. I wasn't strong like Willow Rosenberg in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or the Halliwell sisters in "Charmed". Granted, they're all fictional…

How could my spells protect Gadreel like a giant iron shield?

I wasn't sure they could, but I was certain that praying to the God and Goddess to protect him would work. So, I began whispering a prayer doing just that.

"Please Hecate and Cernunnos, protect Gadreel against any danger he might face in completing this breaking spell. Please don't let anything bad happen to the angel I love. I long for the day that this is over and that we can just be together. He's my first love and my heart would shatter if he was harmed or killed.

"Please take care of him and let me come back to me safely. I just want to be with him." I said and had to stop, to control myself because tears began filling my eyes. I didn't want my mother to wake up and see me crying over something that hasn't happened.

"Just please keep him safe." I said and took deep breaths to control my emotions.

Eventually, I realized that my silence had stretched into minutes and I decided to remain silent. I didn't really have anything else to say.

Once I got to a small town, I stopped off at a diner and woke up my mother. She looked around and stared at the sign above the place.

"Milly's Eatery?" she asked.

"Thought we could use some food and a pee break." I said and she just rubbed her face and got out of the car. I followed her in and as she went to the bathroom, I ordered us some food. When she came out a couple of minutes later, we switched and, once in the bathroom, I stared at myself in the mirror.

I looked like shit. Not only that, but I felt like it wasn't really me I was staring at. Yes, it was me, but the expression on my face and in my eyes looked like I had gone to war and back. It looked like I had a lot of hard mileage on me.

Well, I guess! I had been through a lot. I had died, been resurrected and given false memories; I've trained and hunted monsters; I bumped into a former angel, I trained and hunted with him and killed myself so he could get back his grace that was in me all along; then he resurrected me and brought me to my mother; I help him break a spell to open Heaven as I hunt with my mother.

The thing that probably made me not only look like shit, but feel like it, was the fact that I had died and been resurrected twice.

How many people can walk around and say that?

Was I related to Lazarus?

I turned away from the mirror and went to the bathroom. When I stepped back out to wash my hands, I looked at my reflection one more time. I sort of stunned me how I didn't really seem to see the person I felt I was.

I didn't imagine myself looking worn out and exhausted; yet I looked like it. It made me wonder if Gadreel found me attractive.

I brushed off the thought and let cool water run on my hands, rinsing away the soap.

"I don't understand what hold you have on him." said a female voice and when I looked into the mirror, I saw Hannah standing behind me, staring right at me. She didn't seem thrilled and it pissed me off. "His heart seems to be in the right place, but it only does it for you." She added and I lowered my face so it sharpened my stare on her. Then, I lowered my eyes and turned off the faucet, turning to the machine to air dry my hands. She remained there as if waiting for me to comment.

When my hands were dry, I turned and faced her.

"When he returned to life as a human, I was the first person he made contact with and I helped me to adjust. We've been together ever since." I said and approached her, narrowing my eyes on her. "What is there to understand?" I added and walked out of the bathroom with a grin on my lips.

When my mother caught sight of my grin, she arched her eyebrow. Once I sat next to her, I explained what had happened.

"She sounds jealous to me." My mother replied and I grinned once more.

"She looks it too." I added and when our food arrived, we dug in like we hadn't eaten in days. I honestly don't recall the last time we ate, but my body told me it was overdue.

After a few minutes, we were out of there and back on the road. My mother returned to sleep and I thought about Hannah's little visit in the bathroom. As awkward as it was, that's not what bothered me. What did was the creeping thought that the angels might be questioning Gadreel's loyalty.

Maybe it was just Hannah, but just one angel was enough to make me worry.

She thought Gadreel was just breaking Metatron's spell for me? What would that do for me? Once he succeeds; all the angels and Earth bound souls can enter like they used to. How is any of that done for me? It's not like Gadreel is doing this just so it gets out of his way; so he can get back to me sooner. If his first priority was to stay with me; he wouldn't have left. That's not who Gadreel is: he's doing this because Heaven is his home and he wants to make it right. He wants to redeem himself again because he feels that last time didn't quite matter enough.

And I know he wasn't giving redemption another shot for me. According to me, he already redeemed himself and he was doing this because he was a pure angel doing what angels should do: help and protect innocent souls.

Hannah didn't know her head from her ass let alone Gadreel.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

By the time it was nearing my turn to sleep, we had arrived home. Well, close enough. I drove another hour and then we were home. I parked my car in the driveway and woke my mother. She glanced at the house and smiled weakly.

"Home, sweet home." I said and got out of the car. My mother got out slowly, stretched and yawned as I got all of our stuff out. We walked up to the front door and she got out the keys, yawning and taking forever. I waited patiently and once the door was opened, I stepped in and dropped everything at the door and carried only the bag that contained the things I needed for my dream spell.

"Really?" my mother asked, clearly not impressed with the fact that I dropped everything at the door. "Is that what you did at the motels during your hunts?" she asked me, stifling another yawn.

"Yup." I said and got into my room, getting ready for sleep.

My mother didn't with the subject; she knew I was tired and dying to see Gadreel again.

When I was ready, I cast the spell and then curled up in bed holding onto Gadreel's journal.

I was gliding again and then I saw a few angels getting tossed around and my stomach twisted. This wasn't good and I began searching for Gadreel. Once I spotted him getting up from the ground, unharmed, I felt relieved, but I knew he was still in danger.

Ahead, I saw a scrawny man dressed in an old style step out and glaring at the angels. Behind him was a creature that had definitely stepped out of the book; but I knew that wasn't it. Victor Frankenstein created his monster because Castiel's grace allowed him to.

And now the angels were facing both an angelic mad scientist and a living dead creature.

I glanced around and noticed that there weren't any Enochian Sigils like one of the angels had suggested. Why not? Were they ambushed?

As I glanced around at the angels, especially Gadreel, I wished I could draw those sigils for them and limit Victor to nothing but a man. I wanted so badly to help. Just standing there, helplessly watching was driving me crazy. I had to do something… but what? I was in a dream. There was nothing I could do.

_Please let me help!_

I shouted that repeatedly in my head because, God knows, I couldn't say it out loud in my dream state. I continued saying it in hopes that the God and Goddess would hear me and allow me to help.

Every time I saw the angels getting tossed and thrown, I winced. However, part of me was glad that it wasn't Gadreel. No, he stood up and tried to confront Victor and both took out Angel blades. That's when my heart raced so hard that it was difficult to breathe. My mind swirled with panic and I tried to scream.

I could have sworn that I heard my scream like it was on a low volume setting, but I focused on watching Victor's Angel blade come close to Gadreel and every time he dodged it, I screamed, wanting to do more than watch him avoid that silver blade.

Then, as Victor tried again, I screamed with sheer terror as that blade was about to stab Gadreel right in his ribs. But, the blade ricocheted and flew out of the doctor's hand so violently that I was certain Gadreel knocked it out of his grip.

However, the look on Gadreel's face told me that I was wrong. The Angel blade deflected off of Gadreel like there was a protective shield around him.

_Holy shit._

Victor Frankenstein quickly tried to recover and use his angelic grace, but Gadreel was quicker and tossed him back. Most of the angels focused on the Frankenstein creature, but some still helped Gadreel and began drawing Enochian Sigils.

_About time._

I had a hard time to recognize what kind of sigils they were drawing, but I guessed they were Angel Imprisoning Sigils. From what I remember from my lessons with Gadreel, these looked like it and it would suppress the powers of the angel inside the room. Sadly, I think that includes them all.

When the sigils were done, the creature disappeared and Victor seemed stunned that he was no longer able to do anything cool. Then, he looked up at Gadreel with wrath and tried to attack.

However, Gadreel used what I taught him and defeated the doctor rapidly. The scrawny scientist was squirming under Gadreel, but he had him pinned down where squirming was useless. I was proud of Gadreel, but also hoping that nothing changed. I didn't want to see Victor Frankenstein gain the upper hand.

"You can't take it from me." he said and began laughing in such a creepy manner.

"Watch me." Gadreel said and took the Angel blade that one of the angels gave him. Victor's eyes opened wide and as he protested, Gadreel slammed it into his chest and the moment where his soul and body parted, a blue-white light that was like a liquid type of smoke spilled out and went into a small bottle that was in Hannah's hands.

Once it was all in, she put the lid on it and smiled at Gadreel.

"Take it to Castiel and have him meet me in Heaven." Gadreel said and then everything shifted.

The room was brightly white and I realized we were already in Heaven. I stared at Gadreel with a small smile on my face and I realized that it was over; he succeeded. He got all three items of Metatron's spell and had returned them. The last one would be given to Castiel now.

Gadreel could come back home.

I was so excited that I almost overlooked the worried expression on his face. When I noticed it and tried to see what had his so worried, it crept on me and then my smile faded.

The walls were shaking and there were loud groaning sounds. I couldn't understand what was going on, but without a few seconds, Hannah had returned with a man in a tan trench coat.

The man stared at Gadreel with disbelief, but quickly took notice of what was going on. All the angels did and they all seemed worried. Then, Gadreel looked at the man and frowned.

"Your grace wasn't only the last ingredient of Metatron's spell, but the very strength that held Heaven closed." He said and the man, apparently being Castiel, seemed stuck in disbelief.

"You undid his spell." He said and Gadreel didn't change his expression, but approached him.

"Quick, Castiel. Angels grace is what bound Heaven closed. Now, it's what must keep it open." Gadreel said and the angels all seemed to believe him. They all looked at Castiel and then at Gadreel. I didn't quite get what was going on, until Gadreel gave a soft smile.

"You wish to surrender your grace?" Castiel asked him. Gadreel maintained that smile and nodded.

"It would be an honor." He said and paused. "And I have someone who is waiting for me." he replied and then the two just stared at each other as if having a private mental conversation. Then, Castiel extended his hand and Gadreel took it.

"Your sacrifice here will not be forgotten." He said and then Gadreel began to glow.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

My eyes shot open and I jolted upright in bed, holding tightly onto Gadreel's journal. I pulled my blankets back, dropping his journal and jumped out of bed, sprinting down the corridor, pass the living room and to the front door where I pulled it open and sprinted through the doorway.

I stopped when I saw Gadreel standing in the driveway with his back to me. In front of him, was Castiel, but my eyes quickly slipped back to Gadreel as he turned to look at me. The smile that spread on his lips was priceless. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I knew that I would forever cherish this moment.

I ran to him and when he opened his arms to receive me, I jumped into them, wrapping my arms around his neck, and he swung me around, holding me tightly against him. I don't know if my feet ever touched the ground. Not that I cared. Being in Gadreel's arms was better than being on the ground.

Then, we pulled apart and just stared at each other. The look in his eyes was just as beautiful as his smile: they sparkled. He still had his arms around me and mine slid down to his chest. Finally! My hands have landed on his firm chest!

Someone cleared their throat and both Gadreel and I looked over at Castiel who stood there, as if uncomfortable.

Gadreel kept one arm around me as he turned to face Castiel and introduced us.

"This is Anne Cromwell." He said and looked at me.

"Castiel." I said and glanced at the angel with a smile. "I was there." I added and grinned at the angel's confused expression.

"Dream spell." Gadreel explained and Castiel nodded.

There was an awkward silence, but when I glanced at Gadreel, he smiled from ear to ear. He was so ecstatic that I couldn't help but feel the same. Then, I remembered what he said and realized what he had done.

"You offered your grace." I said and when he met my eyes, I expected him to be sad, but he maintained that smile.

"I did." He said and then I just blurted a question out.

"Why?"

His smile softened, but his eyes… he looked at me with bedroom eyes. I almost melted against him. His eyes were so sexy and seductive that I wanted to forget why and just bring him inside to my bedroom.

"If that's what keeps me away from you, I'll gladly sacrifice it." he said and part of me wanted to feel sad or guilty that he was throwing away something that God gave him, but the other made me feel so happy. Gadreel wanted to be with me no matter what. Did I not deserve to be loved? Would God not want this for his angel who suffered so much, but now has found peace?

Then, I realized something horrifying: Hannah was right. His intentions were good, but he did it for me. He broke Metatron's spell and offered his grace to keep his spell strong so he could return to me.

"Before I leave, I should update you on something important." Castiel said and we both looked at him. Part of me was hoping that this wouldn't ruin the moment. If we go back into the house feeling gloomy, I was going to summon Castiel later and rim his feathered ass out.

"Have the souls entered Heaven?" Gadreel asked and Castiel nodded.

"Sadly, not all have had the luxury." He replied and I nodded.

"We know. Hellhounds took some to Hell." I said and Castiel seemed slightly confused, and then glanced at Gadreel.

"She saw them before I resurrected her." Gadreel said and Castiel seemed deeply confused now, but didn't ask any questions.

"Well, Crowley has taken a Cambion for his Queen and she is responsible for unleashing Hellhounds onto Heaven's souls." Castiel said and Gadreel now frowned. I knew that name from Gadreel's journal, but I wasn't really sure who he was.

"A Cambion?" Gadreel said and I knew that this was really bad news, even though I didn't understand. His tone told me he was worried and I wondered just what and how bad was a cambion.

"She is much stronger than anything we have ever seen." Castiel said. "And Hell possesses the Mark of Cain as well as the First Blade." He added and now I was lost. Gadreel, however, seemed deeply worried and I left like this was really really bad news.

Silence fell over us and I felt crushed under it. Bad things never ended and it seemed like getting the time I so much wanted with Gadreel was going to be postponed.

"Sam and Dean might need your help." Castiel said and Gadreel was silent for a few seconds. His hesitance made me think that something was wrong between him and those two men.

"I doubt they would want my help." He replied and Castiel frowned slightly as if he didn't believe that.

"Believe me; they will want any help they can take." He said and then looked at me. His expression was blank, but it made me wonder if he knew just how I could help. Part of me wanted to offer my help, but when I glanced at Gadreel, I had a small selfish moment. All I wanted to do now was curl up with Gadreel under the blankets of my bed. After that, I'll help anyone who needs it.

Maybe.

Gadreel looked down at me, giving a very weak smile and then looked back at Castiel.

"Thank you." He said and the angel gave a soft smile.

"No, thank you, Gadreel." He said and then disappeared, leaving behind the sound of flapping wings.

I turned to Gadreel, hoping that I could have some alone time with him and when he looked down at me, his smile slowly broadened on his lips. Did he want the same too or was he smiling because he knew that's what I wanted?

"You should rest." He said to me and slipped his arm down and held my hand as we walked up into the house. He closed the door behind us and we walked pass the living room, down the corridor.

I knew what he was going to do: walk me to my room, wish me good night and go sleep on the couch.

When I got to my bedroom door and stepped inside, I turned and almost gasped. Gadreel stepped into my room and closed the door behind him. When he met my eyes, he stared at me with, yet again, those bedroom eyes.

He closed the gap between us and wrapped his arms around me.

"There's something I've been waiting to tell you." He said and my mind was swirling with possible things he could say, but I just wanted to hear him speak them. Oh God, I was finally going to know what love felt like. "As an angel, if didn't feel right to speak such words, but now that I have returned to being a man, nothing holds me back." he added and I smiled.

My heart was racing and I felt so light that I wasn't sure if I was standing or floating. I was just so happy and I was dying to hear the words I so desperately wanted to hear. Most importantly, they would come from his heart and that's all I ever wanted.

"I love you, Anne Cromwell." He said and I melted. I even let out a little whimper and collapsed into his arms as a tear ran down my cheek. I had no idea what was going on. It was like my whole body was shutting down.

No matter, Gadreel smiled and pulled me in, closer. His face was so close to mine as I cried a little into his shoulder. I felt his lips brush against my forehead and my instincts just kicked in.

I placed my hand on his firm cheek and met his lips with my own, kissing him so hard that it seemed like I forgot how to breathe. I was so overjoyed; feeling like electricity had been shot throughout my body as he returned the kiss.

**For those who read my other story, "I Just Want to be Loved", you'll probably have a good idea of what I'm doing… or will be.**


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

I had slipped under my blankets and Gadreel followed me, staying close to me. Once he made himself comfortable next to me, our lips found each other again and we continued kissing. It was a little awkward at first, but I knew it was a first time for the both of us.

Eventually, I did something a little gutsy and pushed my tongue into his mouth. It took him by surprise, but he tried to return the favor and learnt quickly. Our kiss was heated and passionate. What made it really sexy was that his hands tenderly stroked my cheeks, neck, arm and back. He even had his hand on my hip.

It was definitely worth the wait. It was like we couldn't get enough of each other. We sucked the breath from one another and had to pause for air.

When our eyes met, I could see his love for me as his beautiful green eyes sparkled and danced. I could get lost in them for hours, now that I knew he loved me. I guess I wondered, but it was like he said; as an angel, he couldn't say it. And I knew when we first met; it was difficult for him to adjust so he wouldn't have fallen in love with me immediately.

I didn't expect anything to really happen. I just wanted to lay close to him, to feel him close to me.

He stroked my face tenderly again and closed the gap. We did just that; lay so close to each other and eventually, our heart began beating in nearly perfect synchronization. I listened to his heart and, with his warmth, began falling sleep in his arms.

I couldn't have asked for better.

All night long, we laid close to each other. Even as we turned over, we still managed to wrap an arm around one another. The best was having Gadreel spooning me. I loved it so much that I didn't want to move. But wait, it got better! When he laid onto his back, I curled up by him and rested my head on his chest!

At some point during the night, I felt him kiss my forehead and I woke up enough to know he had kissed me. Then I fell back asleep with his arm wrapped around me, feeling his chest softly rise and fall under my head.

When my mother knocked tenderly on my door and pushed it silently open, I sort of wanted to tell her to go away, but when I saw her grin, I couldn't help but smile like an idiot.

"Good morning you two." She said and Gadreel propped himself on his elbow behind me, sounding like he was half asleep.

"Good morning." He said and his tone was a little weird. He sounded like he was expecting my mother to scold him. Then he quickly got out of my bed and my mother laughed.

"Breakfast will be ready in a few seconds." She said with a smile and closed the door.

I glanced up at Gadreel with my smile and when he met my eyes, he seemed a little uncertain. Then, he seemed lost for words. I got out of bed too and walked up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

He responded immediately by wrapping his arms around my waist and returning the kiss softly, making me want more.

When he pulled away, those bedroom eyes of his never stopped dancing and I knew I was wrong about one thing: he had control over his newfound human urges. If he was dying to sleep with me, driven mad by his human feelings, he was handling them well. I wondered how he did it…

"Shall we go eat?" he asked me and I smiled.

"Sure." I said and kissed him one last time before we walked out of my bedroom, holding hands like loved crazed teenagers. My mother just smiled and served us breakfast, watching us carefully. I could tell she was happy for us. She wanted this to happen.

"You two have a good night?" she asked and Gadreel tensed up like he was about to get shit from my mother.

"The best." I said and glanced at Gadreel with a smile. He kept his eyes low and my mother let out a small laugh that brought his attention up to her eyes.

"Well, I'm glad to hear." She said and Gadreel began to relax as he realized that my mother approved of our relationship. "Any plans for tonight?" she asked us and Gadreel glanced at me with a slight frown. I grinned and looked at my mother, shrugging my shoulders.

"We didn't talk about anything like that yet." I said and she just smiled.

"Perhaps I could suggest something?" she asked and I glanced at Gadreel who maintained that slight frown on his adorable face. "A nice night outside under the stars?" she asked me and it reminded me of the night Gadreel and I camped out in my car; how I fantasized about us camping and star gazing.

And I think my mother could see that I was thinking of something; probably because I had that cheesy smile on my face.

"An idea, Anne?" she asked me and my cheeks burned as I smiled innocently.

"Reminds me of camping." I said and when I glanced at Gadreel, he met my eyes with a deep frown.

"Camping?" he asked me and I smiled so much that my face began to hurt.

"Pitching a tent in the wilderness, making a fire and roasting marshmallows, followed by a relaxing night under the stars." I replied and saw his frown slowly being replaced with a smile. We just stared at each other as if we were both imagining it.

"Sounds lovely." He said and my mother cleared her throat, bringing out attention back to her.

"Or just camp out in the backyard." She said as she ate her breakfast. Gadreel and I just smiled, as if thinking about it, and ate our food. Glancing at him once in a while, I was certain he was seriously thinking of something to do with me. He probably felt that he should take me out on a date and, honestly, I would have loved for nothing else.

I began imagining us going to an amusement park, me watching as Gadreel won me a teddy bear. Out at a movie where he wraps an arm around my shoulder the whole time. Maybe walking on a beach as the sun sets, holding hands and maybe splashing water at each other. What I would love is if we're at a mall and we stop at the photo booth and just take photos after photos of us cuddling, kissing and being just so fucking adorable!

Eventually, I noticed my mother smiled at me innocently, which was her way of saying sarcastically "aw, you're cute". I toned down my cheesy smile and finished eating breakfast.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

The rest of that day was wonderful. We looked through photo albums and we laughed at my pictures. Gadreel especially loved the photo where I was two years old and I had been caught in my first lie. My mother had just cleaned the glass door to the back yard and when she came back five minutes later, a small hand print was on the glass. When she asked me about it, she didn't think I'd lie.

I had told her that our cat did it.

Eventually, we got to the photos of my teenage years. Gadreel smiled softly as he noticed that I had always set myself apart from the others; never following trends and doing my own thing.

Then, my mother did something that caught us both off guard. She gave us an empty photo album. When he exchanged glances and looked at her, her smile was so soft that she looked like I remembered her from when I was a kid and there was thunder outside.

"Memories are precious and even more so when you have photos." She said and part of me was a little worried. That pretty much sounded like something I'd hear from a Hallmark card commercial.

Gadreel liked the idea and, somehow, the camera was out and we took a picture of the three of us with Gadreel in the center. Our smiles were brilliant. There was nothing but happiness in that photo and my mother quickly printed it out and added it to the photo album.

I found it odd how fast my mother wanted that photo to be in the album, but I chalked it up to her just being overjoyed.

That night, Gadreel and I went for a walk, holding hands, and talking about tomorrow. The way we talked, it sounded like we'd keep living in my mother's house as we get jobs and take the occasional hunt here and there. It seemed we both wanted to fit into the world, but couldn't ignore the dark side that needed our skills to keep people safe.

It was obvious because every time someone was jogging towards us, we both watched them carefully as if expecting them to be a threat. We couldn't ignore our hunter instincts.

We never talked about children of our own and I think we both wanted to avoid that subject. Would we ever talk about it? I wasn't sure, but I had to ask myself: did I want kids to be born into a life of hunting?

The next couple of days were blissful. Gadreel had actually planned dates. He took me out to the mall because there was a book fair, a petting zoo, games for all ages and a photo booth. I think my mother may have helped him a little there, but it was nice.

He carried my dozens of books and watched me cuddle baby farm animals. I eventually suckered him into cuddling them too, and then we played games where he let me win. Lastly, he took adorable pictures with me.

We did exactly like I had hoped and he let me do anything I wanted. Naturally, we made out, we smiled and laughed. And, because there were props on a table outside of the photo booth, I made him were the hilariously enormous glasses as I wore a cute little top hat.

Then, we laughed over the photos and returned home so we could get dressed up for a reservation at a nice restaurant.

When Gadreel stepped out in a tuxedo, all I wanted to do was drag him to my room and say "fuck the restaurant; I want you". Then, by the look in his eyes, he wanted to say the same about me in my red dress. Both our outfits were chosen by my mother, but we didn't mind. We looked amazing and even more so together.

My mother took a picture of us before we left, which I'm sure she printed out and added it to my photo album once we were out the door.

The meal was great, but talking over a glass of sweet white wine was nice. We both looked at each other with bedroom eyes and once we got back home, we tore each other's clothes off. Gadreel was a little uncomfortable with my mother asleep in her room, but I soon took his mind off of that with a kiss. We collapsed onto my bed and kissed so hard that we had to take quick breaths whenever we got the chance.

He was a little embarrassed that I helped him with his condom, but once we starting making love, it was all behind us and the moves were easing forward into a beautiful rhythm.

Every touch was soft and tender, making my skin shiver slightly. His kisses were gentle and warm on my neck. It was blissful and no bit of pain like I imagined my first time would be. It was slow, but perfect. It lasted forever and I never wanted it to end.

He brought my leg up higher, caressing my thigh and I gently scratched his back with each thrust he gave. My moans were low and soft and whenever our eyes met, we smiled lovingly at each other and I stroked his cheek.

I arched my back when I could no longer contain it and Gadreel slowed gradually until I was certain we wouldn't move at all. Then, he laid next to me and I curled up into him, resting my head on his shoulder. He placed a kiss on my forehead and I smiled tiredly.

"You're beautiful." He whispered to me and I giggled tiredly.

"You're gorgeous." I said, finally telling him the word I used to describe him the whole time I knew him.

He wrapped an arm around me and we relaxed in the serenity that filled my room.

"There was a moment where I thought this would never happen." I said softly and smiled as Gadreel's hand came up to stroke my hair. His touch was still so ever tender that it drove me crazy. If I wasn't sleepy, I would have liked for more sex.

"I know." He said softly and I opened my eyes. "It was in your eyes." he added and I thought back to the times he seemed to know. I tried to hide it, but it appeared that I couldn't. He always knew.

Did he somehow feel pressured into this relationship or did he want it too? Stupid question, but I guess part of me wanted to know that he loved me out of his own free will.

"It drained the life out of your eyes and it even dulled your smiles." He added and I started feeling less happy at that point, as if I could feel that dreaded heaviness coming back to me. I didn't want that, so I tried to turn the conversation around; bring it back to happy.

"You always managed to make me hopeful." I said and closed my eyes, as if reliving that hopefulness. I heard a short exhale from him, as if it was a small and silent laugh.

"You did the same for me." he replied and I smiled. "I never had someone believe in me and when I saw the joy vanish from your eyes, I wanted so desperately to revive it. Making you smile was the most precious to me." he added and I felt so happy, that I could feel a tear form in my eyes. "I think I would have abandoned breaking Metatron's spell if you wouldn't have insisted." He added.

Yeah, that tear was forming and threatening to creep out and fall down my cheek.

I had known that I was becoming more important to him than Heaven. Toward the end, he even told me. Now, he would have forsaken Heaven and all those souls just for me. It sort of terrified me as I realized that all I had to do was ask him to stay with me and all those souls would have been dragged down to Hell.

Not only that, but I realized again just how right Hannah was. Was it a bad thing? No, Gadreel no longer felt like he had to do this for himself; for his redemption. He remembered that I told him that sacrifice is redemption. Breaking Metatron's spell was for Heaven and those souls, but if I didn't care, he probably wouldn't have either.

It would have been so easy for him to forsake Heaven and those souls, and something tells me that the Devil would have been very grateful…

A shiver ran down my spine, making me tremble slightly.

"Are you cold?" he asked me, concerned. I honestly wasn't, it was just a horrifying thought that made me react. However, I didn't want to think about that. I just wanted to relax next to him; to feel his skin on mine.

"A little." I said and he held me tighter against him as he lifted the blanket higher.

We quickly fell asleep in a beautiful comfort and any terrifying thought I had was long gone. It was the best moment of my life and it filled me with such happiness that I felt like I would burst with sparkling glitter, exploding like fireworks.

Gadreel and I had sex and we're cuddling, completely naked, under the blankets. His warm skin on mine, his hands on my body, his lips on mine… this was my Heaven. And I believe the feeling was mutual.

I was never going to forget this. Damn, now was the time to get out the camera and my photo album.


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

The morning light filled my room and my vision was blurry for a few seconds. I yawned and stretched and felt nothing but the blankets around me. I jolted up and found that I was alone in bed. I swung my legs out and quickly got dressed.

My mind was wide awake now, full of panic. Did Gadreel leave me? Was I wrong this whole time? Has Heaven taken him back?

I had just pulled my shirt over my head when the door opened and Gadreel stepped in. As soon as his eyes met mine, he smiled softly.

"I was just about to wake you." He said and I felt that panic fade as I relaxed and smiled at him. I thought of just brushing off my terror, but realized it was probably best if I confided in him. God knows I'll get a warm hug out of it. Heck, maybe even a kiss.

"You scared the crap out of me." I said and he frowned slightly.

"What do you mean?" he asked me and stepped in further, closing the door quietly behind him.

"I thought you were gone." I said and watched him. At first, he still seemed somewhat confused, then it sunk in and his eyes narrowed as if this pained him. Oh God, that's not what I meant to do.

Before I could open my mouth and let him know that I never intended on guilt tripping him for something that he'd clearly never do, he crossed the room and placed his hands on my hips, closing the gap between us.

"Never." He said and even though he frowned at me, there was softness in his eyes and facial expression. "No power in Heaven could keep me away from you." He added.

Then he leaned in and kissed me hard. That chased away all of thoughts.

I was touched by what he said, but part of me knew that he couldn't promise me anything like that. If it ever happened, would he fight with every bit of strength and will he to return to me? Would he never give up hope in doing so? I didn't doubt it. I just didn't underestimate the power of things greater than myself and hoped that Gadreel would never be taken away from me.

When he pulled back, ending our kiss like a slow motion film, his eyes were fierce, yet gentle.

"You are my everything." I said and his lips broadened in a sexy smile that made me melt in his arms.

"You are my sole existence." He replied and I let out a small laugh. He out did me! Who would have known that sex brought out the romantic in him? His smile was now full and bright and he picked me up in a hug.

"What a Romeo." I said softly into his ear before he set me back down.

He slipped his hand into mine and we left my room. As soon as my door opened, the smell of breakfast hit me and I smiled. Gadreel glanced over his shoulder at me, maintaining his sexy smile, and we sat town at the table where my mother waited for us.

There were plates covered with pot lids and once my mother lifted them, my stomach growled.

"Pancakes, eggs, bacon, ham, sausage and muffins." My mother said and I think I began drooling a little, looking at all the food steaming like they were just put onto the table seconds ago.

"What's the occasion, Betty Crocker?" I asked her and could have kicked myself a couple of seconds later. I knew why and her grin told me I was too late in taking back my question.

"It's not every day two love birds lose their –" she said and I cut her off before she could say the "V" word.

"Mom!" I shouted and her grin remained. "We got it." I added and glanced at Gadreel who just smiled at the food as he sat down. If he was embarrassed, he gave no sign of it. Apparently he was too hungry to listen. I glanced at my mother and shook my head at her as she smiled innocently.

"Dig in." she said.

The last thing I wanted my mother to talk about is how Gadreel and I lost our virginity to each other.

Once we served ourselves, we ate in silence.

These last few days have been the best of my life. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't change a single moment in all my years on this Earth.

After breakfast and doing the dishes, my mother got out the board game Monopoly and we played, laughing and having fun. Gadreel was learning quickly and was soon winning. My mother and I joked that he was cheating and soon we were getting a little crazy with the game. I was throwing my money around and trying to distract Gadreel so my mother and I could team up and beat him. Still, he won the game time and time again despite our best efforts.

It was fun and we just kept pulling out game after game. We even took out a deck of cards and, somehow, it was Gadreel and I playing as my mother watched. The way she smiled… it was like she was committing this to memory. I think she even took a photo of us playing cards, laughing without a care in the world. I don't really remember…

As the day passed by quickly, having so much fun, the sun was setting fast and Gadreel had another date planned for us. We were going out to see a movie and I couldn't wait. Gadreel even told me I could pick the movie. I was trying to decide between something that interested me or something boring where I could make out with Gadreel and not care what I'm missing.

I left the choice up to him and he actually picked the one that made me beam like a child.

I told my mother I would see her later and we left. Once we paid and got settled in our seats, Gadreel wrapped an arm around my shoulder. Some young guys came in a few moments later and sat in front of us. They looked at me and I felt Gadreel getting tensed, as if ready to protect me. I grinned and then one of them turned around and asked me if I was interested in him.

Gadreel cleared his throat and glared at the punk. I couldn't help but let out a small laugh and tell the guy to dream on. He turned and we weren't bothered again. Once the movie started, Gadreel and I would whisper to each other, even kiss. The same guy would glance over his shoulder at us and Gadreel would glare again.

I found it so adorable how protective he was.

To other people, he'd appear jealous, but they didn't know the life we lived.

At that point, I sort of forgot the life I lived.

When the night ended and we returned home, it hit me fast. Something was wrong.

Gadreel and I both got a whiff of sulfur and once shadows began moving, we both knew demons were lingering around the house. We charged after them and when they disappeared, not trying to attack us; that's when I knew something was very wrong.

I ran for the house and ignored Gadreel yelling my name.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

Once I burst through the front door, it was like the Greek primordial deity Chaos had been unleashed in my home. Everything was turned upside down and broken. But I didn't care about any of that. I searched for my mother and didn't have to go far. In the living room, on the floor, I found her; laying still and in a blood of her own blood.

I screamed and every bit of emotion hit me all at once. My mind swirled, unable to take it all at once. I felt like I was insane and that this was a real sick and twisted nightmare.

I heard someone running and then stop behind me. I ignored it and dropped to me knees, screaming and crying.

I felt arms wrap around me and lift me up against my will. I kicked and continued to scream, but I was fighting too much at once. I couldn't handle everything at once. It was too much.

Then, my eyes rose up to the wall and it didn't make sense, until my brain shut down and went on autopilot. I read the blood red letters and then my brain put them in order: "You intervened on Hell's deal once. Do it again and your boyfriend's next."

I screamed and kicked again and was losing every battle I was in. I felt like I was dying for a third time; my soul withering away to nothingness. I wanted to die.

I fell again to my knees and in my weakened state, fell completely to the floor and just laid there, crying. I wanted to die.

Now, my heart shut down and went on autopilot. I just cried and felt like my soul had already left my body and was just waiting for my shell to crumble to dust. It was going to take a very long time.

I don't know how long I stayed like that, but I was eventually picked up and held tightly. My face was buried into something warm; something with a strong heart beat. This was life trying to bring me back. I didn't want to come back. I wanted to stay dead.

"Anne, listen to me." Life said. "We have to go." It added, its voice so soft, yet there was an edge to it. It was strong, like its heartbeat. "We have to go." It repeated and it was so much softer this time; it was more tempting.

A hand forced me to look up and I looked into the eyes I knew all too well.

Gadreel was full of sadness. It was like looking into a mirror. I saw the sadness I was feeling and as he stroked my face, I closed my eyes, not wanting to see it. It was bad enough I was feeling it.

"We can't stay." He said and I tried to force words out, but my throat was so tight and dry, I just ended up groaning.

"Hunter's pyre." I managed to say, if that's what I even said. It's what I wanted to say.

My mind slowly turned back on and I reminded myself of what I saw: my mother dead in her own blood. My heart would break all over again if it wasn't shattered to a million pieces; beyond repair.

My mother deserved a hunter's funeral and she was going to get it.

Gadreel released me and left me. I could hear him and catch glimpses of him, but he felt so far away. It reminded me of when I waited weeks and he never came.

Why was it that every time I had something good it was always taken from me so quickly? Ripped out of my hands, out of my heart and causing me to bleed?

But those arms came back and wrapped themselves around me, lifted me up and carrying me. My mind automatically thought of this famous poem and I began telling it to myself like a bedtime story.

One day, a man walked the beach with Jesus and saw two sets of foot prints. As he looked back, he noticed that sometimes there was only one set of footprints. That's when he remembered those were the hard times in his life.

He turned to Jesus and asked Him why He abandoned him in those hard times; times he needed Him the most.

Jesus replied there's only one set of footprint because that's when He carried him; carried him like Gadreel carried me.

My mind stopped after that and started again when I was lifted out of something and then standing in front of something else. I noticed dancing flames and then it hit me so hard that I just collapsed in those arms again.

My mother got her hunter's funeral and Gadreel held me in his arms as I cried into his neck.

My mind shut off once more and didn't turn on until light of day filtered through an old orange colored curtain. My eyes didn't wander, but I knew this wasn't home. No, home was dead, like me.

"Anne." That voice said softly, as if calling me out of the darkness and into the light. Oh, how I wanted to go into that light and have this pain taken from me. But my brain knew it was all just a lie.

Gadreel was calling me because I had been disconnected and cold for the past two days. I've been dead for the past two days.

He was trying to resurrect me. But he was just a man now. It wasn't so easy now.

"Anne, please eat something." He said and I could hear sadness in his voice. I wanted to close my ears like I could my eyes, but that was harder. The silence lingered, but something echoed and ran in my ears, forcing me to listen.

It was paper and then I felt Gadreel sit on the bed next to me with that paper.

"Dearest Anne," he began and even though it was his voice, my mind knew it wasn't his words. "By the time you read this, you'll have learnt an awful truth that I tried too much to keep from you. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want to destroy your happiness."

I closed my eyes, but I could still hear those words. They seemed to hit me harder now that I was trying to block them out.

"Shortly after your death, I did everything that was strange to me to find closure, only it didn't do anything but make me miss you. Months later, I did the one thing no one ever should: I summoned a crossroads demon and asked to have you back.

"You came back to me and I knew I didn't have much time left. I didn't know if it was weeks or months, but time with you was precious; time between you and Gadreel, even more so.

"I know you're in good hands. And Anne, let him take care of you."

Those words hit me and I felt like I was pinned on hard ground. I couldn't escape, but the words felt soft at the same time. It was like my mother's voice accompanied those words. I could almost hear her…

"He loves you and you need to move forward without me. Don't do what I did. I wouldn't want this for you. I want you to fill that photo album with Gadreel. Cherish your life together and live it to the fullest.

"I'll love you forever and always. Your mother." Gadreel concluded and I cried as I felt those arms pick me up and hold me tight.

I didn't want to feel again. Life was bringing me back. I wanted to stay dead.

This wasn't how it was supposed to end. Those happy and blissful days were my ending. Not this. I've been cheated. I've been robbed.

Time passed and stretched. I think another day passed by.

Gadreel always held me in his arms and spoke to me. His words floated by and I didn't even try to make sense of them, but his voice was what I held onto. It was soft and it comforted me, enough to put me to sleep.

After waking up, feeling like I was going to die for a fourth time, Gadreel gave me some food and I ate it without even knowing what it was that I was putting into my mouth. I don't even think my taste buds knew either.

His words had more sense now and I listened to them. Only later did I understand what he was telling me.

My mother had taken out all of my money as well as hers and placed it in a duffle bag for us. She would have given us the house too, if Gadreel and I weren't considered imaginary and dead to the country.

It was after a few more days that I began coming back to life. I acknowledged Gadreel more and even began talking to him, but not about that. I wasn't ready to relive that. I didn't want to remember that. I even tried to make it go away with a spell, but he stopped me; begged me not to cast that spell.

He didn't want something to happen to me. He wanted me to stay just the way I was. I didn't know if I should have felt flattered or angry. I was broken and he wanted me to stay that way? I wanted the pain to stop.

When he began packing, I didn't understand. I watched him and part of me just wanted to stop thinking and just go along with it. We're escaping. We're running away. That's what I want: to run away from this and get far away from it.

"Come on," he said, now kneeling in front of me, staring into my eyes so softly. "Let's take a warm shower." He added and by that I knew he meant him bathing me.

"Where are we going?" I asked, my voice lifeless. Seems coming back to life is a long process.

"We're going to Sam and Dean Winchester, like Castiel suggested." He said and I didn't say anything; didn't think either. It was only later in the car, after my silent and surprisingly not awkward bath, looking at the road ahead that it was sinking in.

Then it hit me and then I knew that I was back to life; my resurrection was complete.

Castiel said Sam and Dean would need help because someone in Hell took a cambion for his Queen as well as all the souls. If this cambion is a Queen, this makes that someone a King. He was the one that I needed to talk to in order to get my mother back.

Now I realized just how fucked up this all was. It wasn't just my mother's death. It's what she said in her letter to me. After I died, months after, she contacted a demon to bring me back.

The problem was: I was already back.

I glanced at Gadreel and started at him as he looked hard at the road ahead. He's such an angel, even if he gave his grace. He didn't need it to be my angel. He didn't have to redeem himself to be my angel. Ever since we met, I gladly devoted myself to helping him get his grace and redeem himself in Heaven's eyes. He called me his saving grace and made me feel like I was his angel.

Well, now I needed him more than ever. I needed him to be my angel, my saving grace. I needed him to help me bring my mother back.

**A.N.: Uh, so sorry for such a sad chapter. If you're in tears, don't feel bad… so was I. I didn't mean for this story to end this way, but it sort of wrote itself. Like I did in "I Just Want to be Loved", I'll write a bonus chapter and, hopefully, it'll be less sad and depressing.**


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

Gadreel drove my car as I dozed off or zoned out like a zombie. We were close to Sam and Dean's Men of Letters bunker. I continued thinking of my mother and what I can do to save her. I had thought of Castiel bringing her back, but I remembered what Gadreel had told me about those girls: an angel can't intervene when someone has sold their soul.

I sort of muttered it during one of my zombie modes and Gadreel surprised me.

"Once a soul is taken, an angel could retrieve it. I just never heard of anyone trying." He said with a bit of sadness. I knew what that sadness was saying; angels should try more often and getting one to do it might be impossible.

I watched myself more carefully after that, but Gadreel seemed to know that my mind was thinking of as many solutions as it could.

"They'll help." he said. "Promise me you'll leave it up to the Winchesters." He said softly and when I met his eyes, they were full of concern. I didn't want to think about what they were telling me, but I knew. Gadreel knew that I'd be reckless in my grief and my determination to get back my mother. He didn't want that. He wanted someone else to do it so he wouldn't lose me.

He continued to stare at me. He even slowed down the car. He was waiting for me to make that promise. Only I couldn't.

"I won't put myself in danger." I said, not really knowing if I could back up those words.

Gadreel hesitated, as if he could see my uncertainty in my eyes, but continued to drive and soon, we drove up to this place. It didn't look like I had imagined. We got out of my car and I followed Gadreel to this door. When he knocked, a sound echoed.

The place didn't look like much, but from that echo, it must be pretty big.

When the door opened, it was a tall and slender man with lots of hair and side burns who stood there with a hard expression on his face. However, I focused more on his eyes. He had hunter eyes; full of hardship. I knew that look because it's the look I now have in my eyes.

"Sam." Gadreel said and he just seemed stunned and confused. "It's me, Gadreel." He added. Sam didn't say anything. "I'm human." He said and after a few seconds, Sam glanced at me. His expressions softened, probably because he could see grief written all over my face. "This is Anne Cromwell, a hunter." Gadreel said and Sam just glanced back at him.

"Come in." he said after he hesitated a little and stood back to let us in. Once the door closed behind us, I looked down and sort of felt in awe. The place was so much larger than I thought and it was stunning. It was old with retro technologies. Most importantly, looking at everything; I felt safe. I couldn't understand why; probably because I knew hunters lived here safely.

Another guy came into view and, like Sam, hardship was in his eyes. He was very handsome and his eyes met mine and locked. His eyes were hard like he had been to Hell and back. I couldn't imagine how someone with so much hardship was still standing.

I felt Gadreel stand close to me, placing a protective hand on my hip as his arm wrapped around me, and then this guy looked at Gadreel as if in anger. His eyes narrowed and he seemed ready to defend his home. Unlike Sam, this one wasn't so friendly and eager to help.

"It's Gadreel." Sam said to his brother, Dean, if I assumed correctly. "And this is Anne Cromwell." He added and Dean looked back at me. "She's a hunter." He added again, his tone odd. He made it sound like there was doubt in his voice. I didn't approve of that.

"Castiel said you'd might take our help." Gadreel said and when we descended the stairs, Dean clenched his jaw, but nodded slightly.

"You offering?" he asked Gadreel and glanced at me as if I too could answer that question.

"We are." I said in a harsh tone; harsher than I intended. But, I just lost my mother so yeah, I was going to be harsh and not really care about it. "And we need your help." I said and both him and Sam didn't seem surprised. "My mother made a deal with a demon." I said and then they looked sort of uncomfortable. This I found odd.

"There's not much we can do." Sam said and Dean's facial expression seemed to support that statement. Now I understood; they were trying to let me down gently. After what I've been through, there was nothing gentle about it.

"My mother sold her soul for me." I said and the brothers didn't seem to change their minds. If anything, they just seemed a little more sympathetic. "The thing is, I was already alive." I added.

Now I had their attention. They stared at me, eyebrows knit together, and then she exchanged glances.

"Did you say you were already alive?" Sam asked and I shot him a cold glare. I didn't feel like repeating myself.

"I suppose this makes the deal –" Gadreel began, but I cut him off, yet again with my harsh tone.

"Invalid."

I didn't mean to cut off Gadreel, but I wanted Sam and Dean to know that I was more intelligent than they thought. I wanted them to see why I was this way; my mother got ripped off and there was nothing in the world to rectify that but me. And I couldn't do it on my own.

The brothers stared at me, as if considering helping me and when they glanced at Gadreel, they seemed like they were coming to a conclusion. Apparently, Gadreel's soft eyes were doing the trick. When the Winchesters glanced back at me, I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Either you help me or I do it alone." I said and then they glanced at Gadreel and that was it. Apparently the look in his eyes must have been begging for their help.

"Alright." Dean said and then gestured for Gadreel to follow him. "You can park the car." He added.

I glanced over my shoulder as both of them went up the stairs and walked out. I glanced back at Sam and he gave me a soft smile. However, I wasn't really feeling that whole friendliness.

"Got a room?" I asked him and he seemed a little stunned, but nodded.

"Yeah." He said, but then seemed a little confused. "You mean two, right?" he asked me and I didn't even crack a smile. What was with these two? They don't understand the first time?

"No. Just one." I said and then he got the point. Gadreel and I were to have a room together.

He led the way and showed me our room. I glanced inside and knew it wouldn't ever feel like home, but it was a place for me and Gadreel. Anywhere with Gadreel was home enough for me. Sam stood beside me, as if waiting for my approval. I met his eyes and tried to be nice.

"It's good." I said and then I heard noise. I realized it was an engine and when I glanced at Sam, he gave me that soft smile again.

"Underground parking." He said and I didn't say anything or show it in my face. This was making him uncomfortable. "We have Wi-fi too." He said and I cracked a very weak smile.

"Imagine my surprise." I said dryly. However, he seemed to know that I was trying to be nice.

He showed me around and after a few minutes, Dean and Gadreel came back carrying my bags. We were moving in and judging by Dean's eyes, Gadreel must have told him our story, or at least mine. Dean looked softer, especially when his eyes were on me.

After the tour and awkward small talk, we sat down and got something to eat. The men were silent, but not for long. I wanted to get this started and there were things I needed to know. Castiel mentioned something about Hell and I wanted to hear it.

"Tell me everything I need to know." I said and I didn't have to specify. Mind you, the look on their faces made me wonder if I had to. Still, they knew what I was talking about.

They told me about Crowley, the King of Hell. I thought Lucifer held that title, but he got put into a cage. I didn't bother asking about that; they assured me he wasn't getting out and that was enough for me. They told me that Crowley recently took a Cambion for his Queen. They met a Cambion before, but she was something different. Then there was a demon named Nikolai with the Mark of Cain and the First Blade.

They explained that story and, by the look in both Sam and Dean's eyes, I didn't ask who got tossed into the ringer washer in that story. I think I already knew. It explained the look in Dean's eyes.

It was obvious that Sam and Dean wanted to put a stop to Hell and everything in it, but even I knew that it was much larger than them, than what they could ever handle. I don't even know if all the hunters in the world could shut down Hell.

As I listened to Sam and Dean, as much as I hated to admit it, I wondered if they lost sight of how primordial Hell was and how that affected its power. I wouldn't want them to hear this, but I doubted they ever could close Hell.

"We can summon Crowley." Sam said and both brothers weren't looking forward to that. "I'm sure he'll release your mother." He added and Dean let out a sharp laugh.

"You hope. He's a douchebag." He said and I met his eyes. "Knowing him, which I do, he'll try to get something in return." He added and I glanced at Gadreel, knowing he'd be very worried now.

His green eyes were narrowed on me, but they were somewhat soft.

"I'm tired." I said as I got up and the Winchesters just stared at me as if they weren't sure what to think of me. I couldn't care less. What I cared about was that Gadreel stood up just as quickly as I did and followed me to our room.

All our bags were just placed near the door inside and I quickly grabbed some to start unpacking. Gadreel stared at me, confused, but just sat down on the bed behind me as I stored our clothes in the dresser drawers.

"Anne…" he said and I knew, just by his tone, that he wanted to say something comforting, but just didn't know what. I could hear that he didn't want to say the wrong thing. It made me feel bad and I stopped putting our clothes in and just stood still, shoulders tensed.

"I'm sorry for pushing you away." I said and after a few seconds, I heard the bed springs and felt his arms wrap around my waist and his chin rest on my shoulder. It made me smile weakly. His embraces had more healing potential than anything I knew, even my spells.

"You didn't." he said softly and a tear began forming in my eyes. "I'll always be with you." He added and I placed my hands on his as I let my tear fall down my cheek. "I'll always love you." He added and I couldn't fight it anymore.

I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around his neck tightly. This was the first hug I had given him after my mother's death. It seemed to do more for him than it did for me. This told him that I was coming out of this and returning to him.

"I'll always love you too, Gadreel." I said and when I pulled back, he wiped away my tear as if he already knew it was there. His eyes bore into mine, but it was comforting. It made me realize just how much I needed to be alive again; that remaining in the darkness, the coldness would have kept us apart.

We needed each other and we both needed to be alive. In the now.

That's what his eyes were telling me: to follow my own words of wisdom and live in the now.

When fatigue started to hit me hard, Gadreel stroked my face, making me sleepier by the second. He coaxed me into bed and I curled up next to him as he wrapped an arm around me, placing a tender kiss on my head. I closed my eyes and focused on his warmth, on his heartbeat singing to me like the most beautiful lullaby in the world and in Heaven.

As I began fading into sleep, I knew that being in Gadreel's arms was my true safe place, not this bunker. As long as I had his arms to hold me, I would always be safe from anything life threw at me... or took away.

**The End**

…

**Or is it? Check my story "I Just Want to be Loved", especially chapter 51 for a little clue… **

**And, I'll be fair and warn you that I'll be busy this year, so if I do have a new project in mind, it'll take a while before I post it. At least you'll have this story to keep you warm… lol**


End file.
